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Oh my mother...

So, I just got off the phone with my mother.

She's soooo effing crazy.  And manipulative.  And crazy.  And dramatic.  And delusional.  And did I say crazy?

She was literally on the phone with me just now for 30 minutes, crying hysterically, because I told her that I didn't want to include any of my cousins in my BP.  One cousin, in particular, has a traumatic brain injury, and is a real loose cannon.  She and I were close growing up, but she makes scenes at random ALL THE TIME. 

So my mother just started sobbing and repeatedly saying "You're going to break her little heart."  Then I told her I absolutely wouldn't do it and it wasn't negotiable.  And then she tried to tell me that I shouldn't have a bridal party at all...and continued to sob.


FML

Re: Oh my mother...

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    AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Tell her when she gets married, she can have your cousin as her BM.
    I'm not good at feelings.

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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yikes.  Yeah, families are a real joy, huh?

    My aunt immediately said to her 13 year old daughter as soon as my parents told them at a family dinner that I was engaged, "Abby, you can be a junior bridesmaid!"  Uh, thanks for making that call, dear aunt?  But I'm pretty sure you don't get to make that decision!

    Be more firm with your Mom.  You know she's being manipulative, so lay down the line.  "Mom, I am not having her as a bridesmaid, and I'm happy to tell her myself."  And when she keeps crying, just say, "I don't want to have this conversation, it's not up for discussion.  I have another call coming in from a professor that I have to take, I'll talk to you later."  And hang up.

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    Anniversary

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    ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ugh!  Mothers can be a real pain in the ass!  I am sorry! *hugs*   I don't have great advice because I don't deal with my mother well, but Candi and Auntie do so listen to them!
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oy vay. Another reason I shold just enjoy this time before getting engaged.

    Perhaps you can have your cousin involved in another way- like handing out programs? Just a thought.
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    peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeeps.  Mom's can be such a pain in the tucus.

    I agree with Audgie and Cate.  I don't have much in the way of suggestions, I basically just don't say anything when Mom and I butt heads.

    Good luck!
    I french with my man
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    cu97tigercu97tiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-mother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e7797dc3-48b4-495e-a7a6-df723a7462cdPost:d3aa9b50-321a-48d5-85ce-b084874d1fd3">Re: Oh my mother...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oy vay.<strong> Another reason I shold just enjoy this time before getting engaged.</strong> Perhaps you can have your cousin involved in another way- like handing out programs? Just a thought.
    Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. I can't exactly imagine my mother doing anything like this, but she has some wacky ideas sometime, so I'm sure I'm in for one or two dramatic scenes.</div>
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    Still here and still fabulous!

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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Well that is super annoying and I agree with lunar stories like this make me a little glad I'm not engaged yet.


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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-mother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e7797dc3-48b4-495e-a7a6-df723a7462cdPost:a60b9a26-5fb8-4f7d-856e-44da555091cc">Re: Oh my mother...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Tell her when she gets married, she can have your cousin as her BM.
    Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ha! Fantastic comeback.</div>
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    marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Momz be crazy. Sorry to hear it, hun. I'm all too familiar with manipulative screaming fits...UGH. I agree that finding a good excuse and hanging up is the best you can do. You can't fix her crazy. You just have to deal with it, unfortunately. :(

    HUGS!!
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    edited December 2011
    I have a feeling we are going to be able to commiserate with mother stories. I've already been made to feel guilty that we aren't holding it in HER hometown, even after I told her that FI (FI!!!) father is ill and unable to travel. 
    www.nurseyk.weebly.com
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    edited December 2011
    I don't understand why a mother would want to try to micromanage her daughter's wedding like this.  It's a good thing you have the guts to stand up to her and let her know it's non-negotiable.

    The saying "but it's MY wedding" is like nails on a chalkboard to me, but in this case not so much.  My response would be "you chose your bridal party for your wedding and now I'm going to choose my bridal party for mine"
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