Hello all! (Question, should you fly all the way across the globe to be a bridesmaid?)

yve726

I'm new to this forum (well i have been reading for a while but never posted or created an account!). I never made an account because i feel somewhat crazy to be looking at this website when I am not even engaged yet lol

I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years but i still don't know where we are going....blah..

Anyway, the reason why i posted is because a good friend has asked me to be one of her bridesmaid next year. I would totally love to, but the only problem is i might risk my job because the wedding is being held across the globe (China, to be exact). Should I do it?

thejucheidea

Wait... China's on the other side of the country from New Jersey?

I learned new geography today.

And if it were a very close friend, I'd do damn near anything.

yve726

LOL sorry i didn't even realize that, i really meant to say across the globe.

And no i'm not in Hawaii I wish.

eirwyn

How will it risk your job?

yve726

It was an unintended mistake, ok?

yve726

@eirwyn, because I am not allowed to take vacation at that time of the year.....and I know my boss won't be very happy if i were to take time off around then...

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hello-all-question-should-you-fly-all-the-way-across-the-country-to-be-a-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ead1891a-e31c-40e9-86c3-e715d9bb7e81Post:bbadaf75-c531-49dd-9c4f-2eaeab06848e">Re: Hello all! (Question, should you fly all the way across the globe to be a bridesmaid?)</a>:
[QUOTE]@eirwyn, because I am not allowed to take vacation at that time of the year.....and I know my boss won't be very happy if i were to take time off around then...
Posted by yve726[/QUOTE]
It's worth asking, especially this far in advance. My work hates it when I take off too because we have very few nurses trained to do our job, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna take vacation.

bethsmiles

If my best friend asked me to be a BM in her wedding (which she better do!) I would do everything for that girl. I would find a way to make it work, even if it meant quitting my job.

But I don't know how close you are to her. Really only you can answer that question.

kaitlynmichelle

If it was one of my best friends, I would go just about anywhere.  If it wasn't a super close friend I'd still consider it.  

If you really want to go, talk to your boss and try to make it work.

ravenray

Dude.  It's China.  GO!  It isn't going to risk your job to ask about having time off, if he says no he says no but if you tell him it's for the wedding of one of your good friends he might be more inclined to let you go. 

deburnin

IMO, job >>>> wedding. And I would hope my BFF would be understanding if I couldn't get time off for hers. Especially with how difficult it is to even find a job nowadays. At the same time, it wouldn't hurt to ask your boss. Who knows, he might surprise you and say yes.

jemmini6

I would just ask, but I do agree that your job is more important than a wedding, so if you are really concerned about it, don't push it too hard.  Something like "Boss, I know our vacation schedules are a little tight around X time of year, but my best friend just informed me that she'll be getting married on X date in China, and if there's any way we could work vacation time into our schedule, I would love to go.  If you could look into it and let me know within a week or two so I can either make travel arrangements, or send my apologies to my friend, I would really appreciate it."

j-harvey

I would ask for the time off, while acknowledging the challenging time frame.  There is no way I would risk my job for it.  If you attending her wedding and serving as a bridesmaid were the most important thing to your friend, she would not be having her wedding in China. Obviously and understandably there are more important factors (perhaps family that can't travel.) 
I faced something similar to this with my best friend several years ago.  It wouldn't have risked my job, but it was more than I wanted to spend (although I could have afforded it) and it was an unreasonable amount of money to ask someone to spend for a wedding. Since then, I've been her sounding board for IL problems, marriage problems, parenting problems, and work-life balance problems, and the wedding has never been an issue.