Bridesmaids

Ember01

Sorry, school is canceled today and I'm putting off cleaning, therefore I'm posting lots today...

I was engaged in 2006 and never got married. I had asked girls to be bridesmaids and they bought their dresses and so forth. When I called off the wedding, I paid back the girls what they had spent on the dresses. Now, that I'm engaged again, I'm not nearly as close to some of these same girls. How do I politely tell them they won't be bridesmaids this time around? Do I wait until they ask? Do I say nothing at all?

Elle1036

Say nothing.  They'll figure it out.

If they ask (they shouldn't; that would be really rude) just explain to them that while their friendship still means a lot to you, it's obvious that the relationship has changed and you hope they don't take it the wrong way.

Wrkn925

You don't tell them anything. 

You ask the girls you want to, and don't mention it to the others.

If you've grown apart, they probably won't think anything of it.

Kudos for paying them back for their dresses by the way.

AudgiePodge

I'm with PP.

Don't mention that they're not going to be BMs.

PaigeMcC

Don't mention it.

And if they do bring it up, tell 'em Emily Post would cut a biotch for asking that.  Rude =P

Ember01

Thanks for the advice. I was planning on saying nothing, but I didn't know if that was just avoiding the conflict.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridesmaids-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:eef13ce3-76b1-4dde-a18d-81686391f88cPost:7045e273-3e51-446d-b567-f177b5638d69">Re: Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the advice. I was planning on saying nothing, but I didn't know if that was just avoiding the conflict.
Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]

<div>You're on the right track, girl.  Keep at 'er :)</div>

samantha1008

Yeah I agree with everyone else.  Unless they ask don't say anything at all because if you say something now it would be kind of a weird situation. lol  Plus they have to understand anyways that was a good while back a lot changes 5 years! 

JMM4208

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridesmaids-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:eef13ce3-76b1-4dde-a18d-81686391f88cPost:f5fa21e3-9b3c-4445-958d-e10f4654334c">Re: Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't mention it. d iAnf they do bring it up,<strong> tell 'em Emily Post would cut a biotch for asking that.</strong>  Rude =P
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

This hit me so funny! I'm imagining the chapter on it in a book, all proper and specific on how to properly cut a biotch.

leia1979

Since it's been five years, they probably don't expect to be bridemaids purely because they were before. I wouldn't worry about it. If someone does ask, just explain that things have changed in the last five years and you want those you're closest to with you.