Not Engaged Yet

Would you cancel the wedding if you lost your job?

Grrr, just when I thought things were going well, it looks like there is a chance that I might lose my job.  My FI works, but we really wouldn't be able to live on his salary alone.  Right now, we have enough money to have a scaled back version of our wedding.  We would be able to pay all of the contracts that we have signed.  We would have to skip the dj and do an ipod.  I would have to forgo most decorative elements and get a cake from Costco.  And of course I would have to do my own hair and makeup.  

Anyway, basically the show could still go on.  Still, is it stupid to have a wedding in that circumstance?  Would I be better off forgoing my deposits (around $2,000) and just JOPing it with FI?  I'm pretty upset about all of this.  

BTW, I'm not jumping the gun and canceling anything right away.  I would have to make this decision in the next couple of months because then I would have to pay some vendors in full.  

Thanks so much.

Re: Would you cancel the wedding if you lost your job?

  • edited December 2011
    I would not for two reasons.

    1. You can get another job. Maybe not in your field doing something you enjoy but you can get a job doing something somewhere. That doesn't mean in the interm you can't look for a job in your field, but money is money no matter how you get it (legally I guess).

    2. It would be more of a hassel to cancel and change plans, no need for an over the top wedding, you are still just as married with a costco cake and less decorations and an Ipod.

    But, if its something you aren't going to be happy about then you should not take the scaled back version because you will always be unhappy. Thats just what I think
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    How much do you have in your emergency fund? Would it be better to put the money you would save from the wedding and put it in savings?

    Your wedding is still a year away.  I'm sure you'll have another job by then.  I'd wait until you were closer to the wedding to see if you really won't have the money for it.
    Anniversary
  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I said other because I basically am going through this right now. We had only put the deposit on the venue and thankfully the place was kind enough to refund us the entire amount even though we had signed a contract and in no way were they held to that.

    We decided that because of our financial situation , to just scale things down and do a smaller destination wedding in Lake Tahoe since it is still relatively local. It all comes down to what you feel is best. You don't necessarily have to JOP it , or if you do can still have a great celebration reception or dinner.

    We are hosting our reception dinner ( about 20 people total including me and FI ) at a restaurant and afterwards we are going to go back to our suite and celebrate and have fun. No expensive rental deposist or fees , just close family , friends and happy times. Just weigh your options and maybe tossing out some hypotheticals ( best and worst case) may help as well. Just remember in the end you will be with the one in your life that means the most - changed plans or not. Best of luck to you !
    Photobucket Anniversary www.MyVacationCountdown.com Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think you've still got lots of time until the wedding so even if you lost your job I wouldn't panic.  How would you feel if you cancelled and then got a job in 6 months?  Disappointed? Okay with it? 

    What are the consciences if you go forward job or no job?  Are you ok with the outcome on that?

    I think there are a lot of factors to take into consideration before you decide to cancel.  Weigh your options with FI.

    GL hun!

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    To answer a few questions, we do have some money in savings, which is separate from the wedding fund.  With FI's income and savings we could probably last about 9 months.  That doesn't include unemployment payments (which I have no idea how it works).  

    I would be disappointed if we had to cancel.   I'm not really upset about the wedding being scaled back.  The little extras aren't that important to me.  If I can only afford carnations, then so be it. I don't know how I would feel spending $10,000 on a wedding if I were unemployed or underemployed. I'm going to try and not panic and make any rash decisions. 

    I haven't even spoken to FI about it yet because I just found out today.  Up until today, it looked like my job would be safe.  I honestly think that he would rather cancel than spend another $8,000 on the wedding.  FI's practical like that.   
  • edited December 2011
    I just can't answer this question. It's so uncertain and you have more time left than I had from the minute we got engaged.

    I don't recall what your job is, and i'm not really in tune with what's going on in the job market right now, so I don't know how likely it is you'll lose your job or how likely it would be that you'd get another in a reasonable amount of time.

    I think I would scale it back, but if you CAN get your deposits back (it's SO far in advance, maybe you could if you ask... like tafft did) then I might suggest that and going with a smaller thing all-around.

    A year is such a long time and so much can change. I really just don't know what to tell you except just hang on for a bit and see what happens. Cross that bridge when you come to it... but don't book anything else or make any more payments just yet.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-cancel-wedding-lost-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f24ba28b-e134-4330-8e08-4c3d24183075Post:30cc6178-3855-499c-b2f0-8cb8b36b0c5e">Re: Would you cancel the wedding if you lost your job?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just can't answer this question. It's so uncertain and you have more time left than I had from the minute we got engaged. I don't recall what your job is, and i'm not really in tune with what's going on in the job market right now, so I don't know how likely it is you'll lose your job or how likely it would be that you'd get another in a reasonable amount of time. I think I would scale it back, but if you CAN get your deposits back (it's SO far in advance, maybe you could if you ask... like tafft did) then I might suggest that and going with a smaller thing all-around. A year is such a long time and so much can change. I really just don't know what to tell you except just hang on for a bit and see what happens. Cross that bridge when you come to it... but <strong>don't book anything else or make any more payments just yet</strong>.
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]
    We're not booking anything more until I find out for sure.  That's why we've held out on booking a DJ.  As nice as it would be to have one, it's not a necessity.  I doubt that I can get the deposits back.  Every contract was clear that they are non-refundable.  <div>
    </div><div>The job market for my field (education) is pretty tough.  They are expecting to lay off thousands of teachers, so it doesn't look good.  I have no clue whether or not I will find something any time soon.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I do realize that I have plenty of time, but that's why I don't want to move forward unless I know for a fact that I can have my wedding.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Anyway, thanks.  For now I'm going to try not to stress about it too much.  </div>
  • edited December 2011
    As far as non-refundable deposits, you just never know until you ask. When it comes to big things like losing your job, some places may give you a refund. Especially over a year from the date. They'll be able to fill the spot anyway.

    It's something you shouldn't expect, but if it comes down to it the worst they can do is say no.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-cancel-wedding-lost-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:f24ba28b-e134-4330-8e08-4c3d24183075Post:f7f86631-5272-4420-89e6-a1d5738a5dd6">Re: Would you cancel the wedding if you lost your job?</a>:
    [QUOTE]As far as non-refundable deposits, you just never know until you ask. When it comes to big things like losing your job, some places may give you a refund. Especially over a year from the date. They'll be able to fill the spot anyway. It's something you shouldn't expect, but if it comes down to it the worst they can do is say no.
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    It wouldn't hurt to ask. What is the worst that can happen? They say no and your right at the same spot you are right now.
    imageimageimageimage
  • Holly&MichaelHolly&Michael member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Maybe you could cut back on the things that don't have deposits on them already...  Personally, I don't think you should cancel.  I do think you guys should try to cut back everywhere you possibly can though...  I think that's what I would try to do if it were me...

  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It depends how you stand financially.

    If it was a viable option, I would have the scaled back version of your wedding - do your own hair, play an ipod, get a cake from Costco.

    Ditto all of Jeana's advice.
  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-cancel-wedding-lost-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f24ba28b-e134-4330-8e08-4c3d24183075Post:43dc73f1-323e-4b0e-a73d-851bf2ac87cd">Re: Would you cancel the wedding if you lost your job?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you cancel the wedding if you lost your job? : We're not booking anything more until I find out for sure.  That's why we've held out on booking a DJ.  As nice as it would be to have one, it's not a necessity.  I doubt that I can get the deposits back.  <strong>Every contract was clear that they are non-refundable.</strong>   The job market for my field (education) is pretty tough.  They are expecting to lay off thousands of teachers, so it doesn't look good.  I have no clue whether or not I will find something any time soon.   I do realize that I have plenty of time, but that's why I don't want to move forward unless I know for a fact that I can have my wedding.   Anyway, thanks.  For now I'm going to try not to stress about it too much.  
    Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

    I also had my contrac which clearly stated such , but it never hurts to ask. When I sent my email I explained upfront and honestly to my venue the circumstances and even said if we could possibly even get partial or half back that would be great , if not we do understand we did signa  contract and it was laid all out. So you never know , yes we got lucky , but never hurts to try. Either way hope everything works out for you both *hugs*
    Photobucket Anniversary www.MyVacationCountdown.com Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-cancel-wedding-lost-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f24ba28b-e134-4330-8e08-4c3d24183075Post:a59a7fdf-3e8c-43f1-9ff6-3602eefd7d0b">Re: Would you cancel the wedding if you lost your job?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you cancel the wedding if you lost your job? : I also had my contrac which clearly stated such , but it never hurts to ask. When I sent my email I explained upfront and honestly to my venue the circumstances and even said if we could possibly even get partial or half back that would be great , if not we do understand we did signa  contract and it was laid all out. So you never know , yes we got lucky , but never hurts to try. Either way hope everything works out for you both *hugs*
    Posted by tafft1[/QUOTE]<div>I spoke to FI and he basically said it's probably best to have the scaled back version (which he's been pushing for even before this) or possibly postpone the wedding.  Our venue did mention that they would be willing to do that when we signed the contract.  <div>
    </div><div>Anyway, I'm not going to be all doom and gloom.  I'll keep everyone updated.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Taft, best of luck with your planning.  I know everything will work out well for you and your (future) husband.  You are so nice.  Seriously, I really want to thank you for your kind words.</div></div>
  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You could look at it this way, you will be getting the wedding you wanted. City hall with a nice dinner! You have time, plenty of time.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards