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Stressing

So my boyfriend is wanting to propse and he talks about it all the time, but he is wanting to be finacially ready when he does. He wants to have money saved up for the wedding(Knowing everyone in our families is going to help us) and then money saved up for after we get married. He is stressing stressing stressing and I am trying to stay positive and tell him if we need to wait we can. But its starting to get to me an dhe has me streesing over making sure its all gonna be planned by the few dates he has thrown out there... Ughh he is stressing me out more than planning anything is lol But I still love him more than anything in the world

Re: Stressing

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    AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Interesting. Tell me more.
    I'm not good at feelings.

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    leia1979leia1979 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Don't count on anyone giving you money until you physically have it in your hand.

    Also, paragraphs are your friend.
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    luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I gathered from your post that your BF is stressed....sorry to hear that!
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You will both be less stressed if you stop thinking about dates. Talk about a general timeline that you are both content with and that will give you a reasonable amount of time to save up the money you need. Also you should figure out an exact amount that you want to save up.

    And one other thing in your post you mentioned that everyone in your families will help pay for the wedding. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you do NOT rely on that money. No matter what anyone has said do not rely on any money you do not have. More than one girl on here will be able to tell you a horror story about that situation.


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    PrincessKt33PrincessKt33 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know we have an amount that we want saved up and we know not to rely on what people say. He keeps telling me proposal is coming soon and then he says that we may get married a little later than wanted. I think he is wanting to have me a scatter brained so i dont know anything of what he is doing. But he is in the army and he gets to come home for a week i pick him up fromthe airport Saturday and am so excited!!! I wish it would happen while he is down but I know it wont...(IF it does you all will know) 
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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
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    edited December 2011
    Punctuation: not just for the ends of sentences.
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    edited December 2011

    He's probably stressing because he feels pressured by you.  Relax and take it easy.  Let it happen when it happens, otherwise you are going to ruin your relationship along the way.  Guess what?  Then you won't have to worry about dates.

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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I don't understand why you and your BF are stressed. There is no reason to be stressed because you aren't engaged. It will happen when the time is right, there is no need to rush.


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    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I'm thinking you should just go with the flow and stop talking about wedding/marriage/proposals for the time being. You used the word stressed a lot in your post...I think it's time you leave it be for now. Being this stressed is unhealthy.
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    MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's exciting that you get to see him Saturday! Sorry your so stressed?
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    PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The lead up to your engagement shouldn't be stressful.  It's a wonderful time filled with excitement and anticipation.

    You're obviously doing this wrong =P

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    edited December 2011
    I agree with Paige- if you think this is stressful, just wait until you're planning a wedding! THAT is stressful. You should enjoy the downtime while you can. RELAX, try to stop thinking about it. Stop living in a timeline. Just be happy for your relationship the way it is now. It will move along when the time is right, and until then just enjoy it.
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    kayely88kayely88 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree PaigeMcC, the lead up to engagment should be filled with anticipation not stress. 

    PrincessKt33: Just enjoy this time with your boyfriend and don't think too far ahead and plan your wedding before you're engaged. Yes it's okay to have a plan or an idea but don't set anything in stone yet. Just enjoy each other and not rush. It'll happen when it happens. =)
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    edited December 2011
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fa84adfd-d8ec-4943-8b62-3854579823d2Post:cfe99ea6-7ee9-4035-859f-c82c73dfe1d9">Re: Stressing</a>:
    [QUOTE]The lead up to your engagement shouldn't be stressful.  It's a wonderful time filled with excitement and anticipation. You're obviously doing this wrong =P
    Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

    <div>Obviously this makes her relationship invalid.</div>
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    desertsundesertsun member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fa84adfd-d8ec-4943-8b62-3854579823d2Post:ec1931e2-5eab-4e6c-afb7-ec48489b092f">Re: Stressing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Punctuation: not just for the ends of sentences.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

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    edited December 2011
    Donald Duck is seriously creeping me out.
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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just chill out. Seriously. This is not the time for stress at all.

    Both of you should stop focusing on the wedding for a while. He can save up as long as he needs to, but until then, just stop talking about it since it's causing so much stress. Like Beth said, don't discuss tentative dates- and this is exactly why. It puts wayyyy more pressure on your relationship than you need. Just enjoying being together (especially since you get to see him soon!) and stop focusing on the engagement and wedding that isn't here yet.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fa84adfd-d8ec-4943-8b62-3854579823d2Post:1f38bad7-23a9-47ab-9d0a-7fc418a56f1f">Re: Stressing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Donald Duck is seriously creeping me out.
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>yet funny at the same time?</div><div>
    </div><div>Imagine the more adult version of Donald Duck from Rodger Rabbit :) 

    </div>

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    PrincessKt33PrincessKt33 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok well he is the one talking about it all. I do tell him it will hapopen when the time is right and he just keeps saying well I know I want it to be soon! Ohh well I just tell him I am ready for him to come home so we can spend some time together during the week he has home!
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    PrincessKt33PrincessKt33 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Mrs Williford, 
         I really dont care what puncuation is for. Let people write however they want to write, its there writing not yours so why be so worried about it?
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fa84adfd-d8ec-4943-8b62-3854579823d2Post:b3df6e83-058a-4ca9-b788-27ea685dc3e2">Re: Stressing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Mrs Williford,       I really dont care what puncuation is for. Let people write however they want to write, its there writing not yours so why be so worried about it?
    Posted by PrincessKt33[/QUOTE]

    When you use proper grammar and spelling it makes your posts easier to read. Also there is a spell check button, don't be afraid to use it.

    And just because it drives me nuts its time for a lesson on the proper use of their, there, and they're. They are not interchangeable. Their is a possessive pronoun (That is their ball). There is an adverb meaning that location (I found the ball over there). They're is a contraction for they are (They're going to play with the ball).

    We learn something new every day!


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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fa84adfd-d8ec-4943-8b62-3854579823d2Post:d09c0910-93c2-4f94-8fc4-337ef5cb478c">Re: Stressing</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stressing : When you use proper grammar and spelling it makes your posts easier to read. Also there is a spell check button, don't be afraid to use it. And just because it drives me nuts its time for a lesson on the proper use of their, there, and they're. They are not interchangeable. Their is a possessive pronoun (That is their ball). There is an adverb meaning that location (I found the ball over there). They're is a contraction for they are (They're going to play with the ball). We learn something new every day!
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It's alright, just let her be ignorant. If our public education system couldn't teach her then your efforts are useless. </div><div>
    </div><div>
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    damn public education system! How often you fail us...


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    PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fa84adfd-d8ec-4943-8b62-3854579823d2Post:b3df6e83-058a-4ca9-b788-27ea685dc3e2">Re: Stressing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Mrs Williford,       I really don<strong>'</strong>t care what puncuation is for. Let people write however they want to write<strong>. </strong> <strong>I</strong>t<strong>'</strong>s th<strong>eir</strong> writing not yours so why be so worried about it?
    Posted by PrincessKt33[/QUOTE]

    <div>I worry because the very fabic of our language rests on speech and writing. If you can't create a coherant sentence then that just shows me the youth of today are jeopardizing our language.</div><div>
    </div><div>Not only that but I hate reading posts riddled with spelling errors.  You want good advice? Give me some proper spelling and grammar to go by.</div>

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    edited December 2011
    When you are trying to communicate your own ideas to other people, your writing DOES matter. The only thing anyone has to judge you by here is the way you write. We can't see you, we don't know who you are, whether you're nice or rude, whether you're mature.

    Honestly, when you write without proper punctuation and spelling (or at least a good effort at it), you seem like a little kid trying to get attention... and no one can really, fully understand what you're trying to say.

    Language is incredibly important- it's how we communicate with people outside our own heads. That is why your writing matters to other people. If you were writing for your own pleasure in a journal or something, then write however you like and it's no one's business. But when you're asking a question and expecting responses, I think you owe it to yourself to be clear and to present yourself (through your writing) in a way that will encourage others to respect you, not brush you off as an incompetent kid.
    Anniversary
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    edited December 2011
    So my boyfriend wants to propose and talks about it all the time, but he wants to be financially stable when he does. He wants to have money saved up for the wedding (even though our families are going to help us), in addition to money saved up for after we get married. He is stressing and I am trying to stay positive and tell him that if we need to wait, we can. However, it is starting to get to me and he has me streesing over making sure it will all be planned by the few dates he has suggested.  He is stressing me out more than planning will, but II still love him more than anything in the world.

    Well,
    he is the one talking about it all. I do tell him it will hapopen when the time is right, and he just keeps saying "well, I know I want it to be soon!". I just tell him I am ready for him to come home so we can spend some time together during the week he is home!

    Mrs. Williford, 
         I really don't care what puncuation is for. Let people write however they want to write. It's their writing, not yours, so why be so worried about it?


    All fixed ladies! :)


    OP, if you are adult enough to get engaged, you are adult enough to sit down and have an adult conversation with your BF and explain your feelings, anxieties, worries, etc. Tell him that his constant discussion of an engagement/proposal is stressing you out. He should be adult enough to respect that and quit bringing it up.

    You do not need to worry about planning UNTIL YOU ARE ENGAGED. Period.

    You do need to worry about taking a remedial English class, however. How you present yourself in your writing and speech reflects how people percieve you. Based on your spelling/grammatical skills, my assessment of you was that it reads like you're in middle school study hall. I imagine that's not the case, but that's the impression that a reader is left with.



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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:fa84adfd-d8ec-4943-8b62-3854579823d2Post:8e867de8-61d2-45d1-9761-e7ae8a4da325">Re: Stressing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok well he is the one talking about it all. I do tell him it will hapopen when the time is right and he just keeps saying well I know I want it to be soon! Ohh well I just tell him I am ready for him to come home so we can spend some time together during the week he has home!
    Posted by PrincessKt33[/QUOTE]

    Besides the grammar and spelling which has already been covered thankfully...

    Just tell him to stop. Because it sounds like you're both encouraging each other in small ways and that's stressing you both out. If he brings it up, say you don't want to talk about it until you're engaged and then just tell him how glad you are to be able to spend time with him. And change the subject.
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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fa84adfd-d8ec-4943-8b62-3854579823d2Post:b3df6e83-058a-4ca9-b788-27ea685dc3e2">Re: Stressing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Mrs Williford,       I really dont care what puncuation is for. Let people write however they want to write, its there writing not yours so why be so worried about it?
    Posted by PrincessKt33[/QUOTE]

    I'm assuming this is directed at me, since I made the comment about punctuation, but I don't understand the salutation.  Mrs Williford (and of course, the period after Mrs is missing)?

    Did TK display my name wrong, or is there a joke I'm not getting?
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