XP: Some relationship questions.

SilverLining1

Because I'm very curious...
When did you start thinking that your boyfriend/FI/DH was the person that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Was he thinking the same thing? Did you take different amounts of time to start thinking this? How did you maintain your patience?
Tell me everything How long were you together? How old were you? How long did it take you to come to that conclusion?

bethsmiles

We both started thinking of each other as "the one" about 8 months into the relationship (we tend to be very much on the same page about things). The first time he said something about marriage we were doing LD but he had come to visit me and while we were sitting on the couch watching a movie he leaned over, kissed me, and said I can't wait to marry you. It was very sweet

I was 18 and he was 19 so we knew that we would be waiting a few years to get married. Basically all the other stuff I have going on in my life right now makes it easier to be patient and wait to get married but I have my days when I just want to get married right now.

COSmitty

Ah... yes, our speeds go together like a turtle and cheetah :-D

Me- I knew we were good at 6 months and I knew I wanted to marry him at a year.

Him- after a year he talked marraige and engagement.... 

dragonwagon

I immediately decided that I wanted to be with FI for the rest of my life, the first time I met/saw/spoke to/etc. him. But then again, 14 year old year old girls are very easily swept off their feet ;-)

The first real conversation was when we not yet dating but were best friends. We were illegally driving around dirt roads in my mom's car just chatting about nothing, and out of the blue I stopped and parked the car and looked at him and said something to the extent of , "I know we say this all the time, but I just want you to know that I don't think I can ever stop loving you. And if I marry someone else, I'll only end up leaving them for you. Please promise me you will marry me one day. You are my best friend and I think that's what people should do: marry their best friend." And his reply consisted of a big grin and saying that he felt the same way too.

We were on and off for the next 6 years, but every time one of us dated another person, we would joke about how we would butt in at the wedding when the preacher said, "...speak now or forever hold your peace."

That's our (lame-ass) story. It would probably be more relevant had we had the brain capacity of plant life at that point in our lives, but being fresh out of junior high, we were pretty bad at verbally expressing ourselves. In a nutshell, I honestly knew from the first day that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, and I know that's an exception to the norm. But again, please take the age and mentality into consideration

MagistraArtium11

We met during Cologne Mardi Gras. We were out with friends, all in costumes, drinking a few beers. I was just recovering from a bad relationship and didn't look for anything serious, just fun. So I took him home with me that night... We kept seeing one another almost every night. But we didn't want to start an actual relationship for he would go to China for a semester in just a few weeks. But our arrangement was more than just sex; we would have breakfast together, go out or call. We didn't think of it as love, but his parents and my friends did and thy kept teasing us. On the day he left I was truly sad. The only thing that kept me "alive" was the many Skype-dates we would set up. 

He was on my mind throughout the entire five month and when he came back, I feared I had to tell him how I felt. One morning, he asked: "We could call this a relationship, don't you think?". I pretty much knew shortly after this, we were gonna end up married. It probably became clear when I introduced him to my parents and the three of them became friends immediately. My parents (both my real German and my Texas parents) simply love him, and that is a good indicator that your SO is the right choice. I am sure he felt the same way after he saw how his family and I got along. His mother even suggested he'd take my last name because it sounds so pretty.

We have talked about marriage and both want to wait until I have a job. So, that will be in December or January. I only wish there was a way both of us could propose, for I would love to surprise him as well. But he wants to take over that part (he can be very traditional sometimes). I guess it's a competition. 

MagistraArtium11

Why does it say that I'm from "IOWA"? On my profile it says Europe. Does anybody know how to fix this? 

mookow86

FI and I are eerily on the same wavelength all the time, so we both had thoughts about being together forever at around the same point in our relationship. It was about 8 months in, and we were both 23.

PaigeMcC

FBD and I weren't sure, TBH.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to date him at first! But after just a few months of LD we realized that we had something special goin' on.

After we finally finished with LD (almost 3 years) we both knew that we didn't want to be apart again.  By that point he was 26 and I was 23.  He had a career and I was in school. We started talking moving in together...then we did.  We got our pugs and we just enjoyed life.  Marriage talk came after we found a new place (with no roommate...YAY!!), and both had good jobs and it got serious from there.  I didn't know when he was going to propose but I knew we were going to get married.  Eventually everything fell in to place annnnnd *almost* a year ago (May 15!) he proposed.  SO yeah....we moved at the same-ish speed...

AbigailMS

I was 17. He was 20. It was probably 4 or 5 months and he told me he loved me and that he'd never said that to anyone else and that he'd really been thinking about it for awhile. 

Probably around a month or two later I had asked why his parents like me and he told me that they could tell we're set on each other and that we're serious. 

A month later I decided that on my birthday I would lose my virginity to him...I don't take that lightly at all so after that I was pretty much set.

Its not hard to wait for marriage at 17. I'm 21 now and he's 24. He wants to get engaged soon, we'll probably wait about a year before the big day. At this point we've been together almost 4 years. 

In general he's more comfortable with the next step than I ever am. I'm about a month or two behind. 

peekaboo2011

I knew the second I met him.  My freshman year (of college) was his 5th year, and I was rushing the service fraternity he was already a member of.  He was really only able to make it to the cocktail for rush week, and so that's where I met him.  There were two of us that hung out with him all night, and the other girl he already knew.  I kept pulling his pocket square out of his pocket and unfolding it to make him refold it.  Fast forward two nights, we're out with the group since I had just been picked up as a pledge, and he and I were talking over the bench, since we sat back to back.  After it was over, I went back to my room and called my BFF and asked if 23 was too old for a 17 year old to be thinking about.

Fast forward again a couple of weeks, and we are all getting trashed together.  I crawled into his lap and demanded that he take me out on a date, to which he agreed.  I found out later that my grand-big in the fraternity (also his big) leaned over and whispered to him "SHE'S A PLEDGE!!!" to which he responded "I DON'T CARE!"  He took me out to dinner a few weeks later at Carrabbas and then we went and saw The Kingdom.  I cried like a baby at the end of that movie, and he kept trying to hold my hand, but both of us were too shy.  Once we got back, however, all hell broke loose.  Turned out that my big (at the time) had a huge crush on him, and so I couldn't pursue it.  We stayed friends.  I got kicked out of the fraternity, and the night it happened, I spent in his bed crying.  There was another night I went down to his room to spend the night, got super freaked out at how comfortable I was (I think that was when I really knew), and bolted.

Fast forward to Christmas, I get a Facebook message from him telling me about the huge crush he has on me, and then comes down from Charlotte to have lunch with me in Columbia before driving back to Roanoke.  Once we got back to school, he got me a job at Carrabbas, and at that point I realized that I couldn't get around what I was feeling.  So, I sent him a facebook message about it, and the night we were supposed to talk, I got back from work and there was a party down in the quad where he lived.  His little got alcohol poisoning (the kid is 90 pounds soaking wet and had 3/4 of a bottle of blue tarantula...to himself), and so Mr. M and I took him to the hospital.  We started dating in the waiting room waiting for his little to be okay.

With the way that things had gone before we actually started dating, I think both of us knew immediately.  And we actually had the marriage and kids discussion a few nights after we started dating.  I don't know how it came up, but it did (and afterwards, I joined TK).  I don't think we ever had an official timeline, but things have worked out pretty well.  

SeaTea02

Well we have dated since I was 15 and he was 16. The first time we really knew had to be when I was a junior or senior in high school and he was starting college. We considered getting married at 18 but decided it would not be a good idea and to wait until after college. We got engaged at 20/21 and we will be  22/23 when we get married. 

AbigailMS

Peek that's the sweetest story ever! Write it down for your kids please!!!

p.s. I like the part when you sit on his lap and demand things, I love doing that to SO.

LizzyTish88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_xp-relationship-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:fc36407a-15e3-4c64-b013-3a0da776b3bePost:5f22bf8b-e1ac-44dd-a627-5ce5231f5e2f">Re: XP: Some relationship questions.</a>:
[QUOTE]I knew the second I met him.  My freshman year (of college) was his 5th year, and I was rushing the service fraternity he was already a member of.  He was really only able to make it to the cocktail for rush week, and so that's where I met him.  There were two of us that hung out with him all night, and the other girl he already knew.  I kept pulling his pocket square out of his pocket and unfolding it to make him refold it.  Fast forward two nights, we're out with the group since I had just been picked up as a pledge, and he and I were talking over the bench, since we sat back to back.  After it was over, I went back to my room and called my BFF and asked if 23 was too old for a 17 year old to be thinking about. Fast forward again a couple of weeks, and we are all getting trashed together.  I crawled into his lap and demanded that he take me out on a date, to which he agreed.  I found out later that my grand-big in the fraternity (also his big) leaned over and whispered to him "SHE'S A PLEDGE!!!" to which he responded "I DON'T CARE!"  <strong>He took me out to dinner a few weeks later at Carrabbas</strong>and then we went and saw The Kingdom.  I cried like a baby at the end of that movie, and he kept trying to hold my hand, but both of us were too shy.  Once we got back, however, all hell broke loose.  Turned out that my big (at the time) had a huge crush on him, and so I couldn't pursue it.  We stayed friends.  I got kicked out of the fraternity, and the night it happened, I spent in his bed crying.  There was another night I went down to his room to spend the night, got super freaked out at how comfortable I was (I think that was when I really knew), and bolted. Fast forward to Christmas, I get a Facebook message from him telling me about the huge crush he has on me, and then comes down from Charlotte to have lunch with me in Columbia before driving back to Roanoke.  Once we got back to school, he got me a job at Carrabbas, and at that point I realized that I couldn't get around what I was feeling.  So, I sent him a facebook message about it, and the night we were supposed to talk, I got back from work and there was a party down in the quad where he lived.  His little got alcohol poisoning (the kid is 90 pounds soaking wet and had 3/4 of a bottle of blue tarantula...to himself), and so Mr. M and I took him to the hospital.  We started dating in the waiting room waiting for his little to be okay. With the way that things had gone before we actually started dating, I think both of us knew immediately.  And we actually had the marriage and kids discussion a few nights after we started dating.  I don't know how it came up, but it did (and afterwards, I joined TK).  I don't think we ever had an official timeline, but things have worked out pretty well.  
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

mmm Carrabbas! I would have been hooked too!

Peek I am going to send you a PM.

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_xp-relationship-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fc36407a-15e3-4c64-b013-3a0da776b3bePost:e702b21b-2d14-42b9-94a2-62e0cd9bda7c">Re: XP: Some relationship questions.</a>:
[QUOTE]Peek that's the sweetest story ever! Write it down for your kids please!!! p.s. I like the part when you sit on his lap and demand things, I love doing that to SO.
Posted by AbigailMS[/QUOTE]

<div>I doubt I'll ever forget it.  There is photographic evidence:</div><div>
</div><div>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '7e0231f3-6e9b-4f9b-98f5-b9e45b060bbc', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/14/8/7e0231f3-6e9b-4f9b-98f5-b9e45b060bbc.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
</div><div>
</div><div>Okay, so not quite in his lap at this point, but I was.</div>

AbigailMS

Awww little freshman peek! I love old pictures. 

IrishDreamer

When SO and I got together, I had just broken up with a major DB, and I really wasn't looking for anything. I was kind of done with men. I was working the front desk of the dorm until 3am, and at about 2am he FB IMed me, and said "hey" ( I had added him because he was friends with my then BF), I was like "hey", and we just started chatting. He was a lifesaver because I was working two jobs on top of going to school, so I was exhausted!! That was a Saturday, we decided to go hang out on Tuesday. We went out to the hookah bar by the college and sat there for about 4-5 hrs just talking. We kept hanging out after that, he took me to dinner a week later, and we ended up in my room. We both said that we weren't looking for anything serious, but the rule was that if we were "together" there would be no "together" with anyone else. After that we were pretty much inseparable. We would hang out after class and work, and whenever we could. It was probably 3 weeks into it when we were sitting on my bed watching a movie when he looked at me and told me that he can't keep fighting it, that he was falling in love with me. I smiled and told him I was right there with him. I was scared (I'm divorced and that one was preeetty bad), and I told him I couldn't handle being hurt like that again.

I'm the first girl he's ever brought home to his parents, gone on vacation with, and the first girl he's ever even thought about giving a ring to. (He gave me my promise ring on Easter! ).

He is currently 29 and I will be 25 next Tuesday. We've been together for 1 yr, and almost 3 months. We knew pretty much the same time that we would spend the rest of our lives together. We've lived together since...oooh probably 2 months into it. I spent more time with him at his parent's than i did my dorm. Then after school got out in May we moved into an apartment together and have been that way ever since.

I don't honestly really remember when we both realized that this was a forever thing. It was probably a few months into living in our apartment and we just started talking about the types of things we'd like. It just went from there lol.

Ohhh, I have no patience. Never have lol. So the fact that he hasn't proposed does drive me a little crazy...even though I know he will. He is very logical, level-headed and future thinking. He wants to make sure that we are more financially capable of everything we want to do. He knows my first marriage was a JOP thing, and none of my family was involved, and so this one means an awful lot to  me. It means a lot to me because of my grandparents and I realized after years of telling myself that I don't want the spiffy wedding, I really do. We both agreed that one of us needs to finish college before we get married, and he will graduate on Saturday. So waiting is difficult, but we went really fast through the beginning stages to where we are now, and so I'm okay with where we are, and so is he.

Beads921

You know what, I can't pinpoint a moment when I realized I wanted to be with him forever. We started dating in September of 2007, when he was a senior in high school (but only attending school p/t), and I was in my victory lap of high school (also, only attending school p/t). I had no long-term intentions or expectations when we started dating, and neither did he. Then again, we were also only 17.
I'd say it was sometime in the summer of 2008 (so before our first anniversary) before I left for university. I have no idea if he was thinking the same thing at the time (and I actually doubt he was; I'm pretty sure he thought he was going to get dumped once I met new people at school); we've never had a frank discussion being like, "So, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, and I have since [date]. How do you feel about that?" Our conversations about the future just slowly turned from joking to serious, short term to long term. We started making decisions about the future together. His moving in in August of last year was the final chip to fall into place, and now we're saving for that ever elusive down payment for a house. I used to be impatient, and wanted to get married ASAP. I don't care as much anymore, probably because I feel a lot more secure with him. The house comes first at this point (but, boy oh boy, am I ever impatient about that...however, when the money isn't there, there's not much you can do). 
Edit: I should add that I'm ahead of him with this stuff. Not by a lot, and it doesn't really change our relationship, but I've always been ready to take the next step before he is. He's younger than me, and usually the more level-headed of the two of us. 

csousa1

BF knew way before I did. We met through a mutual friend in October 07, shortly after I had begun a 9-month long saga of a breakup story with my 3 year college boyfriend, and J (this is BF) had a GF. I thought nothing of him in any way at first, good or bad, but I guess he noticed me right away and I peaked his interest. He loved how confident and carefree and badass I was (his words, not mine - I tried to tell him that was all a bit of a post-break-up front!) and looked forward to every time the group of us hung out. He was with his GF for about another year after that (they had a horrible relationship and couldn't stand each other, and I have asked him many times why he stayed with her for 3 years) the whole time thinking that he could never get me anyway.

Fast forward to  three days after Christmas 08- we are both single, him fairly recently, and the group is out at a bar. Our mutual friend L is my BEST friend and has been J's best friend for years - they have had one of those crossed-the-line-a-few-times friendships that happen between a guy and girl sometimes. She and her ex fiance had recently broken up, she had a miscarriage, and her family had a LOT of drama going on, so I can't blame her for her following actions. J was outside having a cigarette and talking to a girl he ran into that he had gone to high school with (he had no intention of picking her up, by the way) and L freaked, saying he was supposed to be hanging out with his friends that night, and asked me to go tell him not to take her home. I tried to tell her he wasn't planning on it, but she would not be consoled, so I gave in. As I walked outside to chat with them, the girl he was talking to decided to go back in, and I said, trying to be a smartass, "You know you can to better than that, right?" To which he said, "Is that an offer? Because the answer would be hell yes." I was quite honestly shocked and caught myself looking behind me to see who he was talking to, and he said, "You have to know that I've a thing for you for a while...."

I assured him I did not, and that this was NOT happening, because I knew for a fact that L would potentially end our friendships over it. He said he had a feeling that being with me would be worth it. Once it came out that he was interested in me, L sure enough did take issue with it, and said we were all wrong for each other, and that she wasn't cool with us dating. I was not willing to jeopardize my friendship with her, and I was still gun shy anyway after my last horrible break up, so I wanted nothing of it. But he still wormed his way into my heart by being my friend. We talked every day all day long about everything and nothing, and could ask and tell each other everything. One night at a party we ended up snuggling for a short while in my bed, and he said, more to himself than to me, "I can't believe how comfortable and safe I feel with you already." I started to realize that I could tell this man absolutely anything, and what's more, I wanted to share everything with him.

However, I was still scared of what that all meant, and when a group of us hung out on Valentine's day and I could see how attached he was getting, I freaked a little inside and told him the next day that I just didn't think it was going to happen, now or ever. He was on a plane to Florida two days later to try to forget about it all and get over me. Little did I know he was also trying to make me see how much I would miss him while he was gone, and help me come face to face with how attached I was as well. It worked, and I started to realize that I had really strong feelings for him.

The day he realized he was honest to goodness in love with me was March 14th, 2009. He picked L and I up from the bar where we had been celebrating a friend's bday, and brought us back to his and his roommates apt so we wouldn't have to drive home. All three of us crashed on the living room floor, and when I put my arm under my pillow his hand was there and he held my hand all night. I realized I was in love with him the next day, at the St. Patty's day parade. With all the excitement and buzz around me, all I could focus on was his hand reaching for mine behind my back and a stolen kiss around the corner. That day, none of our "secretive" flirting got by L, and when she went to complain about it to a mutual friend he told her it was time to let it go and give us her blessing. She sat down and had a talk with Jon that night, and we started dating the next day. We only hung out here and there, and made pretenses of "taking it slowly", but one night, a week or so later, we were in a car accident together, after which he exclaimed he loved me, and the rest is history.

We had had the talks about futures during the few months that we were just friends but interested in more (I call it our courting period) so we knew we were completley on the same page at that point. J told me from the beginning that I was the woman of his dreams and he couldn't wait to be with me forever. We moved in together after 8 months, and have been together for 2 years, and I cannot WAIT for him to pop the question  I will have to be patient though!!

Sorry that was so long - guess I am feeling sentimental today!!

LizzyTish88

We started dating when we were Sophomores in high school. We dated until senior year. I had always thought we were going to get married then, but I thought that about every BF I had in high school. We broke up at the end of senior year and it was a huge blow out.

That summer I talked to two different guys, but I kept comparing everything to SK. They always did something wrong that SK wouldn't do. This went on for a while. SK and I would talk and hang out, but we were never together. During these times we would still talk about getting back together and getting married. Then one night we got into a huge fight and he told me not to call him and wait for him to call me. Earlier that week he had invited me to a party at his house along with all my friends. Since all my friends were going I was either going to go or sit home and do nothing so I decided to go.

I was so scared to go, I was literally shaking and it made me feel so awful that I couldn't walk into his house and be comfortable. I told him this and he gave me a huge hug and told me that everything was going to be okay and that made me feel 100 times better. Throughout the night we would hug and kiss and everything was fine. Then I asked him for a kiss and he said no. I was so thrown back by it. He then took me by the hand and walked me to his room so we could talk. He told me that he was seeing another girl, and she was at the party. He said he liked her and that he wanted to date her. This broke my heart. I started bawling and ran out of the house (mind you we had been drinking for hours and I was supposed to sleep there.)

I ran out of the house and down the street. I thought for sure that he would come after me, and at first he didn't. His dad was there (which is a whole other situation) and yelled at him for not coming after me, even though I was already half a mile down the street. I told him that I was going to leave and he was about to let me, he even moved the car behind mine so that I could. We then had a huge fight/conversation in the driveway that lasted hours. It ended with that other girl going home and me staying with him. We talked about it the next day too.

We then started talking more and more and working things out that needed to be worked on. I then asked him back out the day I was moving into my new school. He told me that he needed to think about it, but called me on his way home and said basically "fvck it, let's do it" and we were back together. I knew then that it was meant to be and that we would be together forever.

It took him longer. He treated me like complete shiit for a while after that and he admits to it now. He basically thought that I was just going to break up with him again and it took him a long time to realize that I was serious. As soon as he did though, he knew it was meant to be.

His friends got mad at him one weekend because he wouldn't go out with them, because he had driving school the next morning. They drunk dialed me that night calling me a biitch and such because I "Wouldn't let him hang out with them" which was not the case at all. It was a VERY hard decision for him but he ditched those friends because he cared about me and knew that we were meant to be. It's all been uphill from there.

Sorry that this got soo long!! If you read this all then kudos to you!

IrishDreamer

csousa, AWW being sentimental is okay every now and then.

SilverLining1

Oh daaaang that's a lot of replies. *Reading*!

bourgehm

Fi and I worked at the same place. He was off at college in another state, so he only worked on breaks from school. So anyways, I had been working there a few months and he came in one day to meet 'the new girl' when he was home one weekend. I was sitting there shelving books. He said hello and I turned bright red.  I thought he was hot.

Moving on.

So, then we were working together over that winter break and we played pranks on each other all the time. I'd fill his work locker with junk and rubber-band it shut. He would mess with my car. It was a competition. We'd also have competitions on who could hit this annoying sign with a rubber band from where we were. We were always competing for things.

Then one day his break was up. So he had to go back to school. He said goodbye and that he'd see me over summer break probably. Then he friended me on facebook. (I know this is highschool-ish. Hold on... haha) We wrote messages back and forth for a while and eventually exchanged phone numbers. We'd talk on the phone for hours. Then one day he asked me, "I have an idea. Whoever loses our competition takes the other out to dinner." My response: "NO! I don't want to take you out to dinner. I don't have money to spend." I was clueless. He said, "Oh my goodness. I was trying to ask if I could take you out."  So then I said sure.  So I guess we started dating long distance. In a month or so he came home to visit me and we went out to dinner and a movie.

Over summer he was home. We got super close. When he left to go back to college in the fall, we were both heartbroken. I was leaving to antoher state for school too, so we were far apart. After that summer togehter and needing to be LD again, that's when I knew we were somethin' special.

cu97tiger

My BF and I have traded places on things over the years. We met through MySpace when I was moving to Phoenix. I didn't know anyone here (well, one person, but we had history) and I just needed some basic information about what parts of town to live in, soccer leagues I could join, etc. I went on to MS and searched for men between 30 and 40 (I was 32 at the time) - I'm more comfortable with guys than girls, always have been. But I didn't have ANY plans to try to date these people.

Anyway, my BF had a normal looking picture of just him smiling at the camera, I clicked on it, and there were pics of him playing soccer, so I thought BINGO! I can ask him about leagues. I emailed him, and he emailed back the next day saying he hadn't checked that account in over four months. He started out just answering questions about the area, etc, but eventually we started talking about our lives, and went from emailing every other day, to emailing every day, to multiple times a day.

At this point, I was leaving Tampa, where I'd been for four years, and saying goodbye to friends, my house, etc. I really felt like I was shutting things down there, and really didn't feel ready to start something new in Scottsdale before I even got here. He asked if he could call me for the first time, and I remember thinking 'oh geez, this guy is going to want to date me.' For a few weeks, we talked once a week (when I was driving home from my late night soccer game on Wednesdays). Then we'd occasionally talk on the weekends, too. Soon we were talking and texting daily. 

Then he asked if he could come out to visit me in Tampa. I said 'Hell no, I'll be out in S'dale in two months, we can meet then.' But after Memorial Day weekend 2008, when I was on a beach vacation with my college girlfriends but could barely tear myself away from the phone texting him, I knew it was time to meet.

We officially met on June 19, 2008. I was nervous as hell, wondering if his pics would do him justice, or if I'd find some ridiculous flaw and want out immediately. But everything was perfect. We went to lunch on the water, then went back to his hotel. We told each other we loved each other within 10 minutes of being alone. He came back to Tampa every 11 days after that and drove cross-country with me when I moved.

Within those first two months after meeting, he wanted to get married immediately, like in summer of '09. I told him he was crazy and we needed to be together for at least a year before we thought about getting married (yes, that's me, Miss Practical and Risk Averse). So by Summer of '09, I was ready to get married and he was ready to take his sweet time.

Now we're both on the same page. The engagement should be any day (maybe even this weekend in Mexico?!?!), we've had lots of marriage, babies and financial talks and he's literally the best person I've ever met. Yay me!!

ETA: For OP: I knew he was the one for me the first day we met face-to-face. I was ready to get married after he was gone for work for four months and I realized after he got back that I wanted to spend every day of the rest of my life coming home to him.

Sparrow87

I guess I'm not as romantic as the rest of you, there was no moment where I just knew.  I guess we're just one of those couples who have always been happy with the moment; no drama, no pressure, and I'd probably say that it's the healthiest relationship that I've ever been in.  I'm happy with where we're at, and he's happy with where we're at, so it's all gravy.  And whether he pops the question in the next couple of months or the next couple of years I'd be happy and I would most definitely say yes  

As for advice on staying patient, just enjoy your burrito.  Meaning take a deep breath and enjoy where life has taken you thus far, there's no need to rush into the future. Just enjoy the present. 

P.S. SO hates it when I talk like that, he thinks it makes me sound like a hippie. 

sparkles88

BF and I met when we were 18 and living on the same floor in the dorms. All of the people from this floor hung out together and we had a lot of mutual friends. I actually couldn't decide if I liked him though. He was definitely good looking according to me and every other girl, but he also was kind of quiet. I wasn't sure if he was mysterious or boring.

Finally, after about a year and a half of knowing each other, we started becoming better friends. I just decided to get to the point and asked him out. I knocked on his door and said, "Hey, I kind of like you. Want to go out some time?" We dated for over month, briefly broke up, then got back together and have been together ever since.

Like Sparrow, I don't think there was any single defining moment that made me think, "OMG I want to marry him!" We've always got along well. We have enough things in common to share together, but we also have enough things that are different to keep things interesting. The closest thing I have to that moment  is when I realized I would be willing to move with him when he started applying to grad schools. I think that is a huge step/sacrifice for someone to make in a relationship. I could definitely see myself getting married to him, even though I would like to wait a few more years for that part to happen.

PolkaDotBella

We started dating when I was 19 and he was 20. About 6 months into the relationship, I realized that I was head over heels in love with him... I, of course, realized this while getting completely drunk with my best friend. We ended up discussing if I loved S and if she loved her boyfriend in the typical drunk-with-your-best-friend way... in the bathroom drawing imaginary diagrams on the wall. I'm not quite sure what diagrams had to do with it... I don't remember what the diagrams were of, but I'm sure they had a reason at the time!

 Of course, I wasn't going to tell him first so I was prepared to wait until he said it first.

 About a week later I was at his apartment saying good-bye, we were both heading out to our respective parents houses for Christmas when he grabbed me in a huge hug and said "Drive safe babe, Call me when you get there, I love you". Needless to say I was shocked and said "You too! I love you too!" then, well, we didn't leave for our parents for a bit ;-).

The whole "I love you" thing turned in to a conversation about how we could see spending the rest of our lives together.

The moving in together conversation turned into I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you.

So, I guess we realized we could see ourselves spending the rest of our lives together after about 6 months and we both came to the conclusion that this is it, I'm spending the rest of my life with this person, after about 2 years, which is when we moved in together.

We've been pretty much on the same page about everything.... it's been nice! Over the years we've worked out a tentative timeline so I'm now just enjoying our relationship while he does what he needs to do for the ring and proposal. Though I know probably within the next year or so, we'll be getting engaged, I'm perfectly happy with the way things are... we have a house, a dog and each other... what more could a girl want?!?

HeartOverMind

BF and I started dating April 22, 2009 I was 19 and he was 23. We met in Micro-Economics (the second half of my freshman year in college). He kept looking over at me and slowly but surely he made his way closer and closer to my side of the classroom and soon enough he took the seat right behind me. It was really adorable the way he pursued me, no one has ever done that before.

We hung out a few times after class in the library and eventually (a few months) he asked me to be his GF and I said yes. He fell in love with me soon into the relationship, hmmm like 3months. I just took things slow and enjoyed being with him...it took me a few months after him to admit that I had fallen in love with him.

He also started thinking of marriage sooner than me (like before he even told me he loved me).  But naturally it's me that has now become completely obsessed with the idea and he's all cool about it. He tortures me with asking me questions about what kind of wedding I want and where should we live and how he wishes we could just be married already, etc. He drives me crazy but I'm so happy that I found the guy that I want to be with for the rest of my life, so I can live with the torture...for now!

But sometimes I think he forgets about the whole engagement thing. Like we always talk about when we think we'd like to get married but he never touches on the engagement part. I never bring it up because I honestly don't want to talk about it right now, especially if it's not going to speed up the process. He is still freaking out about talking to my dad, so I'm guessing once he does that then he'll think about the engagement... who knows? I'm just trying to focus on finals right now.

CCO2012

I had an eerie feeling he was the one almost immediately but it was after he went to florida on a boys trip and I picked him up from the airport at like 11 at night and we were sitting next to my parents pool staring at the stars and I said,  "If you asked me to marry you right now, I'd say yes." and he said, "Well good because I've been thinking about how I woud want to do it." This was maybe 2 months in and we were still living in different cities. But, 3  months later he moved to St. Louis to be with me and 4 months after that he bought a ring ... That was 2 months ago and I still don't have it on my finger yet though lol

shipsinthenight

I think I knew there was a very strong possibility that SO was the right guy by the end of the third date. We had been talking online for a out a month before we met, so I felt like I knew plenty about him. We had been to the zoo and were having a picknick on the beach...and I just looked at him and thought "this is the guy."

I am fairly certain he was not thinking the same thing at that point. I know men and women tend to progress at different speeds emotionally, so that didn't bother me. By January we acknowledged that we were "serious." At three months (valentines day) I said I love you. He said it back too In april of last year we started talking about moving in together sometime this year. I've never asked him when he started thinking he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Especially since he hasn't actually said those words and we aren't engaged...however, I am the only girl he's ever moved in with, so I'm fairly confident that's where we're going.

I think the way I maintain my patience is that I know he's the one. I was always more impatient before I met him. But after I found him, I could finally relax. I love the life we are building together, our apartment is so cozy and I'm glad I get to wake up with him and go to sleep with him every night. I still want the wedding and the dress and all the rest of everything, but I can wait for it. Meanwhile I'm focusing on school, getting ready for my BF's wedding next month and finding ew ways to save money, which makes me really happy