Today's Confessions

loves2shop4shoes

I'm bored and it's pretty quiet around here, so I thought I'd liven things up a bit.

Confess some things to us that you wouldn't tell most (or all) of your IRL friends right now.

Annnnnd...Go.

jaycee7389

I completely agree with tiger..do it lunar! When I was younger that is how I figured out how to O. My friend told me that you in a way have to teach yourself before you'll really have them during sex, and she was definitely right. Also, try one meant for both spots!

Elle-I'm not sure exactly of your situation but I had an ex who I thought ruined sex for me forever. Luckily, BF isn't all about sex so I don't have to pretend that I'm really in to it. And when we do have sex, it's because I want it..so I'm able to enjoy it.

LizzyTish88

Whoa I am late but here goes nothing:

1. I hate my body. I never feel sexy at all and I feel like BF hates the way I look too, even though he has told me that he loves the way I look.

2. I have the opposite problem of Elle. I can't get enough sex. I want sex all the time, and BF not so much. We barely have sex now and it sometimes drives me nuts! I'm hoping once we live together it will get better because I think the reason we don't have it as much is because we both live with our parents.

3. Lunar get a vibrator. They are amazing and it really teaches you about your body so that you can tell your BF just what to do.

loves2shop4shoes

I'll start.

1.  I've basically been lying around the house in my pajamas for the last two days.  I don't have to be in school.  My job only starts tomorrow.  And it's SO nice to not have to do a damn thing after law school that I'm just being lazy as can be.  At some point, though, I'll have to get up, shower, get dressed, and clean because FI and I are hosting a dinner party tonight.  

2.  I am ravenously hungry all the time lately.  I've tried to start dieting because I need to lose some weight...but I'm ALWAYS hungry.  Idk what's wrong with me.  Maybe I'm just bored eating.

3.  A small part of me hopes I lose my law school scholarship.  I kinda don't think I want to do this with my life.  And if I lose my scholarship, I'd feel less bad about dropping out.  This year just took such a toll on me.  I've literally been recovering for WEEKS now.  And I'm so confused about what I really want.  If I keep my scholarship, I think I'll be more likely to return next year, but I'm still not positive I'll return either way.  Idk.  Maybe I'm just already emotionally preparing myself for the possibility of losing my scholarship, so I'm saying I hope I lose it.  Idk.  I'm a tough nut to crack.

4.  I have been craving chocolate in all forms lately, particularly chocolate cake.  NOMNOMNOMNOM.

Elle1036

I confess that I'm feeling over-emotional and bitchy (and fat) because Aunt Flo is on her way, and I kinda took it out on a student at work yesterday.

She probably deserved it anyway.

Wrkn925

Ok, I have a huge confession that is flameworthy on this board.

A month or so ago, I went shopping with my mom and (with BFs approval) tried on dresses.

We hadn't planned on it, but there was a Deb's bridal in the mall, and I flipped through the racks and found a dress similar to the MS Bernadatte I've been drooling over for $299. It was an outlet mall, the only one, and discontinued.  So, I tried it on.  It fit horribly, but if it would've fit, I would've bought it.

Mom was enjoying the experience, and I was loosening up, so I tried on a few more.

I'm a bad NEYer, but BF rolled his eyes when I told him why I shouldn't have done it.  He doesn't care, so I just can't bring myself to think it was a bad idea.

ETA: Seeing what size actually fit me in wedding dresses has given me some motivation to get in shape, so it was good for me.

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:ddc98f6a-6d76-4ce2-8b13-b45c20410b47">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, I have a huge confession that is flameworthy on this board. A month or so ago, I went shopping with my mom and (with BFs approval) tried on dresses. We hadn't planned on it, but there was a Deb's bridal in the mall, and I flipped through the racks and found a dress similar to the MS Bernadatte I've been drooling over for $299. It was an outlet mall, the only one, and discontinued.  So, I tried it on.  It fit horribly, but if it would've fit, I would've bought it. Mom was enjoying the experience, and I was loosening up, so I tried on a few more. I'm a bad NEYer, but BF rolled his eyes when I told him why I shouldn't have done it.  He doesn't care, so I just can't bring myself to think it was a bad idea. ETA: Seeing what size actually fit me in wedding dresses has given me some motivation to get in shape, so it was good for me.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>You BSC hoar!  FOOTSTOMP!</div>

lunarsongbird

Okay- this it TMI- and I recently confessed it to a high school friend and her jaw literally dropped. I'm such a hoar. While trying to find the allusive O, which I still haven't really found- I've been with 14 guys. I was always safe and honestly don't regret it. Of course, Andrew had no clue of my real number.

Ugh. This makes me feel and sound like such a bad person. Aye.

I guess the average is 6.2, (clicky)

::shrugs::

The Shame.

marleylikeair

Shoes, I think you should stick this law school thing out. You do have the scholarship, and when you get out of school, you can try a few things with the degree and see how you feel. 1L is the hardest, right? And you did a pretty dang good job getting through it.

I confess that I was 10 min late to work today because BF and I were having spontaneous, incredibly steamy sex.

Hmm--I owe all of you an update on the BF sitch; I'll do that as soon as I can.

CCO2012

1. I am gettin greally tired of being everyone elses shoulder to cry on but when I have a problem everyone seems to disappear. If it continues I Will no longer be the nice loyal friend and start acting more like they way they treat me, on an individual basis of coures.

2. Even though I am graduating in December with a good degree, I wish I had done what I wanted and gone to beauty school instead. And if I had decided to go to callege with out my mother making me I wish I would have stuck to the math major idea that she talked me out of.

bethsmiles

I wish my mom wouldn't have visited on memorial day weekend. Everyone thinks she is an awesome mom but she destroys my self-esteem and confidence. I appreciate everything she does for me financially but I can't handle her visits.

loves2shop4shoes

Lunar:  Am I reading this right?  Have you never had an O???

CCO2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:bd8dbd88-7c26-4cc4-8499-28f680463ce9">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay- this it TMI- and I recently confessed it to a high school friend and her jaw literally dropped. :( I'm such a hoar. While trying to find the allusive O, which I still haven't really found- I've been with 14 guys. I was always safe and honestly don't regret it. Of course, Andrew had no clue of my real number. Ugh. This makes me feel and sound like such a bad person. Aye. I guess the average is 6.2, ( clicky ) ::shrugs:: The Shame.
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

My number is 13... BF doesn't know and I would like to keep it that way! ANd 11 of mine happened in one year... Yeah I was a SLUTbetween the EX and before I found BF.

Wrkn925

Cco, your sig is huge, but it's adorable.

Lunar, I found the O a long time ago, but I enjoyed with approximately the same number of men. 

loves2shop4shoes

Beth- How does your mom destroy your self esteem?

ravenray

1. I feel sick every time after I eat.  Like want to throw up now sick.  I also want to lay down for 10 mins till it goes away.  It sucks, makes me not want to eat anything.
2. I feel really fat.  I know I am not but I feel that way.  Wish I would stop eating so damn much.  This also doesn't help what happened last night with BF. 
3. I am really really lonely.  I have like 4 friends totally.  That includes BF.    I need a few more friends.

polkadot111

1.  I worry about cancer all of the time. Cancer doesn't even run in my family and honestly I've never known anyone with cancer (which is rare for this generation), but I still always worry I'll get cancer and die.

2.  I start camp training tonight. Everyone thinks I'm excited, but I am not. I am a little worried I'll just get too worn out and hate everyday of the summer.

danimcg

I have lost ALL motivation for school work... I am in class right now. I think this would shock a lot of people because from the outside I look like I've got it all together. Most of the time I am just pretending to do homework so I don't have to talk to anyone. I have a rough draft of a paper due this afternoon and I haven't really even started it....

My room is completely trashed. I spend so little time at home I have stopped bothering to keep it cleaned up. It's kind of shameful, I have been sleeping in the basement for like a week, lol. I can't see my bed anymore

AHH, finals week. Not to worry, this should be over soon : )

cu97tiger

1) I am more of a hoar than lunar. And I will never ever tell anyone my real number again. BF has never asked, and I honestly wouldn't even want to know his. I guess by your mid-30s, everyone has a past. (PS Lunar, I don't think you are a hoar AT all, everyone has their own journey. For some, that's waiting until marriage, or sleeping with one guy, then marrying him, for others, it's getting your groove thing on with a couple, two, three guys (though not at the same time....))        To me, safety, both sexually and emotionally, is the key.

2) I spend my days actively avoiding getting any work done. I live in constant fear they will figure out how much time I spend on TK, FB, etc and fire me. Yet somehow they think I'm brilliant. hmm

polkadot111

Raven, I think you're beautiful. And I also think you seem like a very cool person.

polkadot111

One more confession: I think it seems dishonest to not tell your fiance or someone you're extremely serious with your sexual history. However, I have no history with that, so I know I don't understand. But still.

loves2shop4shoes

Ok...Tiger inspired me to further confess.  2 Years ago, I was a serious lurker.  I had this cushy office job for this seriously BSC boss.  He would assign me all sorts of projects.  I knew I was a lot better than 99.9% of his staff.  (And so did he.)  So I finished projects in a few days that it'd take others a few months to do.  Then I'd lurk on TK.

He accused me of screwing around at work and being unproductive (after a night where I was working on a grant proposal in the office until 3am), so I quit on the spot.  He was actually right.  Although I got more work done than anyone else, I was screwing around at work like you would not believe.

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:b4a59c49-2f19-4555-8521-947c7299bd3d">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Beth- How does your mom destroy your self esteem?
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

Constant comments about my weight (which I'm working on) are the biggest thing. She is constantly negative about everything in my life. Whenever she visits she just constantly makes little digs at me. We've never had a good relationship. She's told me that she hates me, she's kicked me out of the house when I was in high school, she's thrown things at me before basically she has a huge anger problem. Her presence is super stressful for me.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:16453622-aa56-495a-9a95-490ff80cc6cd">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]1. I am gettin greally tired of <strong>being everyone elses shoulder to cry on but when I have a problem everyone seems to disappear</strong>. If it continues I Will no longer be the nice loyal friend and start acting more like they way they treat me, on an individual basis of coures. 2. Even though I am graduating in December with a good degree, <strong>I wish I had done what I wanted</strong> and gone to beauty school instead. And if I had decided to go to <strong>callege with out my mother making me I wish I would have stuck to the math major idea that she talked me out of</strong>.
Posted by CCO2012[/QUOTE]

CCO, I SO relate to all these bolded statements. ::HUG:: Please do yourself a favor and take care of YOU for awhile. Don't feel like your needs are being met, and feeling emotionally drained? Well, hey, don't pick up the phone and listen to someone else vent to you for an hour before they think to ask you how you are. I've had a couple friends like that (where I did 90% of the listening and supporting), and the friendships eventually went sour.

This stuff, including the mom stuff, is SO familiar to me. I'm working on making things better. I'm working on separating myself from my mother's ideas of what she wants me to be so that I can have the life I want and be the person *I* want to be. I'm standing up to her. I'm taking time away. And I rarely, if ever, still talk to old friends who don't want to listen and be supportive to me in return.

I'm just saying I hope you take some time to put yourself first as needed. You owe it to yourself!

Okay, I'm stepping off my little soapbox. Hope you don't mind me putting in my $0.02. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

lunarsongbird

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:aa3ce594-99ac-425e-901c-4fc48b5249be">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Lunar:  Am I reading this right?  Have you never had an O???
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

Oh goodness...I guess THAT should have been my confession. It's just so darn hard to find! I'm sure they body issues don't help. Or that my partner just told me to lay there and be still. Ha.

danimcg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:d220238c-362a-4203-99de-8589850db983">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Raven, I think you're beautiful. And I also think you seem like a very cool person.
Posted by polkadot111[/QUOTE]

Agreed! I like you a lot : )

And also totally know how you feel. Especially regarding not having a lot of friends. I am the same, and have had virtually no social life for months and months... Getting re-involved in some things and starting school again has helped enormously! Altho I do feel like life is taken over by everything else. I have to be really intentional about making plans and staying in touch with people, but it is worth it. We deserve to have fun and see friends! Is there anyone that you can reconnect with that would allow you someone sort of new to talk to?

Elle1036

I have a couple more, since it's getting pretty real in here.

1.  I confess that I have grown to dislike sex.  A lot of time, it's painful for me (not a medical issue, though) and when it's not, it's at-best uncomfortable.  I feel like I disappoint FI on a regular basis because I just don't enjoy doing it with him (but I didn't really with my ex either).  When I try to talk to him about it, he just tells me that it's ok and he loves me anyway, but I know he hates it.

2.  I have a very strange relationship with food which worries me sometimes.  It's gotten a lot better, but somedays I feel like I can't stop eating and others I feel like I have to force myself to eat anything at all because I'm terrified of seeing the number on the scale go up, even though I know it's just a temporary rise.

lunarsongbird

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:856a3619-3f4d-4fbb-8859-25ff2288efaf">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]1.<strong> I feel sick every time after I eat.  Like want to throw up now sick.  I also want to lay down for 10 mins till it goes away.</strong>  It sucks, makes me not want to eat anything. 2. I feel really fat.  I know I am not but I feel that way.  Wish I would stop eating so damn much.  This also doesn't help what happened last night with BF.  3. I am really really lonely.  I have like 4 friends totally.  That includes BF.  :(  I need a few more friends.
Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]

Hm- Have you gone and seen a doctor for this? Like maybe for an ulcer?
ETA: <a href="http://www.ivillage.com/what-could-stomach-pains-after-eating-mean/4-n-126149">http://www.ivillage.com/what-could-stomach-pains-after-eating-mean/4-n-126149</a>

This forum post reminds me of party line for some reason.

Also- I'm still giggling at CC0's HUGE siggy picture. Me loves it.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:5cc864de-afb8-423c-94f8-71f906f56f54">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]One more confession: I think it seems dishonest to not tell your fiance or someone you're extremely serious with your sexual history. However, I have no history with that, so I know I don't understand. But still.
Posted by polkadot111[/QUOTE]

If he asks, I 'd tell, and I wouldn't lie.  But really, his business if what I've done since the day that I met him, and the I met him with a clean bill of health.

I haven't asked his, either.  And if he offered that information without me asking, that's giving me information that I do not want to know.  I'd really prefer him to keep that to himself.

cu97tiger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_todays-confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fd649263-b95f-48ee-9264-3f39f59c82e2Post:5cc864de-afb8-423c-94f8-71f906f56f54">Re: Today's Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]One more confession: I think it seems dishonest to not tell your fiance or someone you're extremely serious with your sexual history. However, I have no history with that, so I know I don't understand. But still.
Posted by polkadot111[/QUOTE]

<div>I can understand if the topic had come up and I willfully mislead him, that would be dishonest, but other than talking about STDs (and the fact that we were both clean), we literally have not discussed this in our almost 3-year relationship. He was married before, I've been in a couple long-term relationships, so we both knew the other had a past. I'm sorry you think that's dishonest, but really, at some point, the number does become irrelevant if you're with someone you love and you aren't saving yourself for marriage.</div>

polkadot111

Wow, it's kind of crazy how many of us don't have good relationships with our parents. I just thought of another confession. Sorry these aren't condensed.

Me and my dad do not get along. I hate being home for the summer because he' just is sort of getting emotionally abusive. Last night for example. I was sitting outside reading, and he asked me to come inside. I said, "Okay! In a second. I have to finish this page!" And he said, "All you are is a pain in my ass."  That hurt. Obviously. I mentioned it to my mom. and she told him he needed to apologize to me and then yelled at me for not being 'respectful', even though I had done nothing wrong. I never think it's okay to tell your daughter that all she is is just a pain... I'm still pretty sad about it.