Wedding's off - But I'm keeping the bling, damnit!!

bajediva

http://tinyurl.com/2e6xska

Cliff Notes: Woman calls off wedding, keeps $17G ring, supposedly for unpaid rent and bills, guy takes her to court.

So...is the ring a gift, or is accepting it the same as signing a contract? Is it really yours, or yours conditional on marriage?

*EDIT: He proposed on her birthday.

katanne9

Actually, my FI is a nerd and looked up the laws regarding this.

Unless the engagement ring is given to the girl on a legal holiday, it is considered a conditional gift. If they don't get hitched, she doesn't get to keep the ring.

*FI made sure he didn't propose on a legal holiday bc he think he's hilarrrrious.

noelle24

Laws in most states say that if the wedding gets called off, then the ring goes back to the guy.  After the wedding, if you get divorced, the ring belongs to the woman.

loopy82

I have also heard that if someone proposes on a birthday/ holiday the ring could be considered a gift and therefor would not need to be returned.

Is it just in NY that a ring is considered a binding contract? Or in the law in general?

If I truly felt like I was owed money and could prove it I would keep the ring to try and sell it. Otherwise if I were to call off the wedding and the guy really wanted it back I would give it back.

sapphirebaby926

I don't know what the law is here but in my opinion it depends on who breaks off the engagement - if it's the women then she should give it back but if it's the man then she should keep it. If I had ever been in this situation I don't think I could have kept it and I would have given the ring back regardless of who called it off.

Ana_2985

I agree with Sapphire.  I have no idea about laws here, but I think it should depend on who breaks off the engagement and on their reasons for doing so.  Except if it was me, and I found out he was cheating or lying, I wouldn't want him to get the ring back.  He should have to lose something too.

ekathleen684

I'm with Ana but if he cheated would give it back....with a CZ center stone (depending on how big the diamond is). IT all depends on how dirty things went.

bajediva

Hmmm...all above makes sense...So if the guy cheats, or otherwise acts in bad faith, can't that be considered breaking the contract too?

I generally think it's a pity that legalities & technicalities would be primary in resolving something like this. I know it's not cotton candy & bubble gum, this life thing, but really?? You skip on rent & bills & still want to take your ex to the grind over the ring? Which she says she'd gladly give back if you kept your word in meeting your responsibilities?

bajediva

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-off-but-im-keeping-bling-damnit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fe235cf6-f540-42b7-83a3-51c25a5979ddPost:683c438f-e6c1-402e-831a-c7dd8a597184">Re: Wedding's off - But I'm keeping the bling, damnit!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm with Ana but if he cheated would give it back....with a CZ center stone (depending on how big the diamond is). IT all depends on how dirty things went.
Posted by ekathleen684[/QUOTE]
hahaha...I'd want to do this too!

dwest2201

I say if the marriage never happened whoever paid for it gets it back (99.9% of the time its him).  I know a woman who paid for over half her ring though... in that case it should be sold and split maybe.

I kept the rings my ex gave me (we were married though for a couple years and he kept the house, nicer car and most of the bills).  I sold them... about 5K worth of paltinum and diamonds in 2 rings and I got about 1,500 for them.  Resale on diamonds is horrible.

suz62984

In SC if you ask on a holiday or birthday the ring is considered a gift. Also, If someone asks "will you marry me" that is a legally binding contract.

TwinsRib

I gave my ex his ring back... It was more because I felt sorry for him (even tho he is the one who called off the engagement).... I knew he would stuggle without me, so why not let him have it so he could get that $500 he got for it... We are still friends but I did not want a constant reminder of our failed relationship..

FYI - He says breaking up with me was the biggest mistake he ever made... That's all the validation I need lol...

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-off-but-im-keeping-bling-damnit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:fe235cf6-f540-42b7-83a3-51c25a5979ddPost:38afbede-d37a-49a7-b19d-f9bff543c8dd">Re: Wedding's off - But I'm keeping the bling, damnit!!</a>:
[QUOTE]FYI - He says breaking up with me was the biggest mistake he ever made... That's all the validation I need lol...
Posted by TwinsRib[/QUOTE]

AGREED.

BlueBoxBride

Asked the future Mr. Box and he said that in all likeliness, the court will not consider the engagement ring a birthday gift. 

That said, I was always under the impression that the ring was like collateral. Guy effs up, he's out the ring. The woman can pawn it, use the money to pay off deposit fees for the wedding, etc. If the bride gets cold feet, the groom gets the ring back since the bride did not follow through her end of the contract. 

meamolly

see it is so difficult for me cause I see it from both sides. I would be mad had my brother's ex not returned that ring, she went bsc! But I can also see if I was given the ring why cant I keep it?