Drama with my mama. need advice.

jakeryan08

So, my aunt (my moms sister) just told me she wanted to throw me a bridal shower, I then told my mom and she said she wanted to throw me a lingerie bridal shower...? I don't want my mom to feel bad or my aunt to get her feelings hurt. So, do I have two showers? Do you think my mom got her feelings hurt that my aunt wants to throw me a bridal shower. I dont' know proper etiquette? Or how to handle this situation

[Deleted User]

Yes, you can have 2 showers. Usually the mother of the bride doesn't throw a shower for her daughter, but just about anything goes these days. Usually it is a close female friend or relative or there could be a few hostesses. Just coordinate with them so that they are not in the same day.

vegasgroom

Be careful about one thing: normally you're obligated to invite anyone who's invited to showers to your wedding, and having two showers thrown for you by two differnet people could raise your guest list up to a point that it pushes people you want at your wedding off the list.  My FI and I are dealing with this now because we fell in love with a venue that has a maximum capacity and now we're having to sacrifice some friends to make room for people that were invited to our engagement party.

skippylouwho

I think two showers is not uncommon. Often someone n the bride's side will have one and then someone on the groom's side will have one. It's really not correct etiquette for the bride's mother to have a shower.

I did meet a woman shopping for clothes for her daughter's SIX showers, rehearsal dinner and brunch the morning after - seriously, she bought outfits for all and wasn't making it up.

Lisa8888

MOB shouldn't be throwing a shower. I hope the guests will not be invited to both showers.

jakeryan08

i talked to my mother today and she wants to have a intimate lingerie shower with a few friends and family members where all the gifts are lingerie. supposedly it is a tradition in the family. and my aunt will throw me a regular bigger bridal shower. but idk. i'm just glad i don't have to plan either one!!!

jmkes

I've had lots of friends who have had a separate lingerie shower.  Like you said it's usually just close people who you feel comfortable whipping out "intimate" items in front of.  I wouldn't want to hold up a see-through teddy infront of my grandma, so a separate shower is not unreasonable. 

Like PP said though, it's not the mother's responsibility to throw any shower.  If she feels strongly about it maybe she can help or be a co-hostess.

Lapontoona6

Look as long as your aunt is okay with your mom having a separate lingerie shower (which you'd think they'd have spoken since they're sisters) then propriety been damned.  If it's a family tradition then what does it matter if your mom wants to throw the shower, I doubt anyone is going to get all Emily Post on her and chastise her for hosting the shower