Large age difference??

shihtzu31

Anyone have a large age gap between you and your FI? Or know anyone? (I'm talking about 10+ years) What's it like?

bemo12

23 and 34 here. Honestly, it never bothered me. He looks so young though, he always gets carded.

Girlie1030

My BF is 13 years younger than her husband.  They couldn't be more perfectly matched. 

Why do you ask?

shihtzu31

Just wondering. I know someone who is engaged to someone 25 years older. They are very happy and good together but her parents (she's 25) don't exactly love it

lindseyann410

I'd feel creepy marrying someone older than my parents, but that's just me.

Gabrielle76

I don't think there's anything wrong with big age differences if people are evenly matched in other areas (equally mature, etc.) But marrying someone literally twice your age seems a little... different.

More power to her if it makes her happy though. 

djd5029

We have a 15 year gap.  It took some time to get used to, but I've never been happier. 

Anysunrise

H is 12 years older than me. I don't really notice it, aside from the fact that he's mature and responsible, which can't be said of most guys my age.

Grits8812

Fiance's mom was with a guy who was 6 years older than her father for 14 years.  They were a great couple, until recently.  

So although I'm not in the situation of an age difference my self, I have seen it done and think it can work as long as everyone's maturity is on the same level. 

LizziebeeUT

My FI is only 6 years older than me, but I definitely see a difference between him and guys my age. He's more mature, and driven than a lot of guy I know.
I don't really care about having a man "take care" of me, but its nice to have someone whose older and more set in life.

Cinderella30

My parents have a 14 yr. difference. They never had an issue with it. My husband and I only have an 8yr difference but I actually like that he's that much older than me.

achiduck

FI and I are only 49 weeks apart (to the day) but I did date (and nearly get engaged to) a guy who was 8 years older then me. At first it wasn't a big deal, we had a great time together and shared a lot of common interests but there was a lot of things that drove me nuts. What eventually drove us apart was part age related but also part his maturity level (which was surprisingly low for someone his age) and our different lifestyles. 

michelem1968

I have a cousin who married a wonderful man only one year younger than her mom (that initially caused drama in the family). So that made them about 25 years apart in age. It didn't matter though because they were a perfect couple, had two beautiful children, & my cousin's parents ended up just loving him (as did the rest of the family).

em01092

My FI and I are 8 years apart and we've always been fine. Sometimes he will mention a show or movie that I'm not familiar with and I have to remind him that I was not born or under 10 at the time said movie/show was out or popular. But that's really it. My family was a little leery of him when I was 18 and he was 26 (he is only 12 years younger than my dad), but they got over it once they met him. 

random4180

Hmm, we're 8.5 but in the "other direction" than most of the age breaks it seems- I'm older than him! So while it's not huge, it was enough to seem kind of odd when he was nineteen and I was twenty-seven. But we're very well-matched, and I think a part of it has to be with our similar goals and experiences. I mean I was a late bloomer, we met while working at a summer camp and we both didn't have any dating experience. We were long distance for most of the first 2.5 years (barring another summer when we worked together,) then moved in together, and y'know, adopted cats together, moved cities together, and took another 1.5 years to get engaged. It's been a pretty slow burn and pretty much your standard getting-to-know-you. Occasionally, we'll joke about how I didn't have a cell phone or a computer in college but honestly, I get carded more often than him and he taught me how to drive- I think we're definitely on equal footing!

kmmssg

I friend of mine is 19 yrs older than his wife - he is 66, in AMAZING physical condition and they have a fantasitc marriage.  She is a college professor and they pursue their individual interests as well as a great life together.  She was in her 30's when they met so she had built an independent and successful life on her own.  I think that is a big part of why they have such a great marriage.

Then there is the other end of that spectrum, like me.  I was 20 when I got married the first time and my ex was 10 yrs older than me.  There is a vast difference in the world of a 20 year old and a 30 year old.  The wierd thing is I was the more mature person in that 8 yr marriage.

Lots of couples can make an age difference work well but there are couples who are in such different stages in life and that can have a poor ending.  Depends on a lot of things, not just that there is a big difference in age.

jbray1687

My FI and I are 20yrs apart. The age gap doesn't bother us, nor our families. Our friends loves and my son loves FI. There hasn't been any negative thoughts or opinions about it either. (But I don't care what people think anyways...)

I love my FI and we have an amazing realtionship. The age gap doesn't show and he doesn't look his age..(Fi is 45 and I am 25). We have been together for 2yrs in MArch and we've known each other for 4. We balance each other out. I'm goofy and silly and spontaneous and he is quiet and conservative. He is my rock, as I am his. I couldn't ask for a better life

amanda1611t

12 years difference. he acts younger, i act older. it works out

KellyBrian2013

IMO, a lot of what matters is "where" that age difference is.

I fully admit that I *majorly* side-eye the relationship/engagement of someone I know. She's 18 (just turned) and he's 43. That's a 25 year difference and I think it is disgusting, personally. But then, I also know the maturity level (or lack there of) of the girl involved, so that may color my opinion greatly.

That said, when I was 17-18, I dated a guy who was 5 years older than me and the age difference was never an issue.

KatoNorway

30 year gap here. The only issue we had to work out was whether or not I wanted kids. No, I never said to myself when I was younger that I wanted to get involved with someone who was near my Dad's age. But life doesn't always work out the way you think it will and I'm so happy. We've been together for 15 years and tied the knot last November.

My Dad has referred to him as his son for the last 10 years or so. My older brother and DH are really close. My mom isn't so crazy about the age difference, but in 15 years have come to accept it and treats him kindly.

I get along really well with the step kids. In fact my MOH was his oldest daughter and I'm taking her out for dinner tonight.

francienyc

I agree with a PP--it doesn't matter if you're in the same place in terms of maturity, lifestyle etc.  With a big age gap this can often be hard to achieve.

I think another problem is if one person is much younger, they might still have some growing up to do--not implying that they are immature, but that the teens and twenties are a time of a lot of change, which can be especially difficult when the older person in the couple is already settled in who they are.

That said, these are obstacles which can be overcome.  I can't say a huge age gap is my style, but I guess that's why I'm marrying a guy who's only a year and two months younger than me.  For all intents and purposes, we're the same age.

StephieGentile

Age is NOTHING but a number. If you're happy, in love and the guy treats you well thsts all that matters! My FI is 5 years older than me and I wouldn't have it any other way! Let's face it ladies we always have to date older since some men can't get their stuff together or are extremely immature!