Best man speech

Blueyeddramatix

So... My Fi has chosen his brother to be his best man. Last night he was talking to his brother right next to me on the phone. He had asked him if he had worked on his BM speech at all. Well he starts telling my FI that he's got this idea to start off with some sexual joke, I gave FI the "your kidding me right" eyes and he asked his brother if he was serious. His brother was like yeah! FI was like you know there will be people at our wedding from 4 to 70 right? His brother was like ya I figured I wouldn't say the F word and that would be alright... PG-13 you know?
The conversation went on, but now I am worried his brother is gonna make his speech and be a complete douche. That he is going to say very inappropriate things around young kids that are most likely going to repeat it, most of them being little recorders... Did any of you ladies have this worry? Did anyone have a BM that made a terrible speech? That was inappropriate?

VeggieLove1022

Why are you asking people to do speeches? If people want to stand up and praise you in front of everyone then they will, but asking them to is wrong IMO.

To answer your question, no, no one made an uncomfortable speech at my wedding and I didn't worry that they would.

Blueyeddramatix

Well it is traditional for the best man to make a speech. At least at every wedding I have herd of. ALso this was previously discussed between him my FI. He wanted to make a speech, FI was just asking how it was coming along. This wasn't like the first conversation they have had about it, I never said he asked him to make a speech in this conversation.

Blueyeddramatix

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:09f3d371-ebf4-4902-b019-1c26ed7e2123Post:5268b96c-66e1-4336-891b-63628003dc64">Re: Best man speech</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Best man speech : Blueeyed's Law: Whatever you can freak out about you should freak out about. If it's so concerning your FI needs to talk to his brother and inform him that if he can't keep it clean he'd rather BIL not give a speech at all.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
O linger, I am not "freaking out" I am just a little worried thats all. I don't want my 4 year old niece to be scarred for life because of something my FBIL says.

VeggieLove1022

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:09f3d371-ebf4-4902-b019-1c26ed7e2123Post:52cdaf09-4f65-4bc2-af0c-7637bc48b6a3">Best man speech</a>:
[QUOTE]So... My Fi has chosen his brother to be his best man. Last night he was talking to his brother right next to me on the phone. <strong>He had asked him if he had worked on his BM speech at all.</strong>Well he starts telling my FI that he's got this idea to start off with some sexual joke, I gave FI the "your kidding me right" eyes and he asked his brother if he was serious. His brother was like yeah! FI was like you know there will be people at our wedding from 4 to 70 right? His brother was like ya I figured I wouldn't say the F word and that would be alright... PG-13 you know? The conversation went on, but now I am worried his brother is gonna make his speech and be a complete douche. That he is going to say very inappropriate things around young kids that are most likely going to repeat it, most of them being little recorders... Did any of you ladies have this worry? Did anyone have a BM that made a terrible speech? That was inappropriate?
Posted by Blueyeddramatix[/QUOTE]

It sounded like this was your FI asking him to make a speech for you. Sorry, I took it out of context. And no, I don't have anything against speeches or toasts or whatever, I just hate when a bride and groom tell people that they will be giving a speech and it turns in to some awkward, nervous, I didn't really want to do this, kinda thing. I think it's totally fine to say, "Hey, were trying to figure out when we're doing speeches/ cake cutting/ etc, did you have plans on doing a speech?" and leave it at that.

emarston1

You do realize he's probably just messing with you right?  Based on all of your posts, you seem to be the type that worries about the teeniest tiniest things.  BM probably knows this (because I don't imagine that you keep it contained to TK) and just wants to mess with you.

I'm sure the speech will be fine.  And if he makes an ass out of himself, well then he makes an ass out of himself but that's a reflection of him - not you.

VeggieLove1022

LetsHikeToday

My MOH had a few drinks before her toast. She let the F word slip. Honestly, no one cared. She felt a little stupid but forgot about it 10 minutes later. No big.

RamonaFlowers

I assure you, no 4-year-old is actually going to be paying attention to the speeches. They're going to be seeing the giant cake off to the side and plotting how to get their hands on the frosting without getting caught.

RamonaFlowers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:09f3d371-ebf4-4902-b019-1c26ed7e2123Post:19a3f055-ac75-4f1a-92a6-a76e9c4d4bab">Re: Best man speech</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man speech : Since when am I 4?  I totally would do that.  Or would at least thing about it.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

Well, at least you won't be offended by Ms. Dramatix's Best Man's speech then, lol.

blgrout

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:09f3d371-ebf4-4902-b019-1c26ed7e2123Post:67f8e157-ba37-4cc5-b8df-0c29863a1b5d">Re: Best man speech</a>:
[QUOTE]I assure you, no 4-year-old is actually going to be paying attention to the speeches. They're going to be seeing the giant cake off to the side and plotting how to get their hands on the frosting without getting caught.
Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]

Pretty much what I was thinking.

Seriously though, in regards to the OP, my FBIL is threatening to do the same thing, but I think it's just a threat because my FI threatened to put him in a kilt for the wedding (my FI and his brother are not anything resembling Irish or Scottish or any other heritage that would have them don a kilt for a wedding, but it was funny listening to him tell the groomsmen that they were wearing kilts).  I don't think he has the cajones to make a sexual joke in front of the rest of their (very) conservative family.  He might just be trying to get your all twisted up over it.  :)

angele4200

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:09f3d371-ebf4-4902-b019-1c26ed7e2123Post:fe9e3011-80c8-48fc-9067-dc8cb890e361">Re: Best man speech</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man speech : If your 4 year old niece is "scarred for life" because she heard an off-colored joke, she has some problems. <strong>And yeah, the tone of your post kind of reads "OH MY GOD!!!! I'M FREAKING OUT OVER HERE!!!!" as most of your posts do.
</strong>Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Linger speaks the truth.

LizziebeeUT

Your fiance doesn't have any embarrassing sex stories to worry about does he?

skippylouwho

It should NOT be a speech. Your guests don't want to sit through a 5 to 10 or 15 or 20 minute speech. YIKES!  It should be a short toast. The best theory I heard is that they should be able to stay it in two complete sentences.  I realize that's pretty short so I'd say 2 minute max.  Congratulate the couple, wish them well, tell them how you much you love/respect them and make it from the entire wedding party or family - not just that specific person.

i've been to a lot of weddings where the bestman or maid of honor stands up, gives a very personal toast but when they are in that type of position it should be on behalf of everyone and they should skip the personal stuff.  That excludes the others.

RamonaFlowers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:09f3d371-ebf4-4902-b019-1c26ed7e2123Post:506d1812-8394-40b4-95fa-85991515c788">Re: Best man speech</a>:
[QUOTE]It should NOT be a speech. Your guests don't want to sit through a 5 to 10 or 15 or 20 minute speech. YIKES!  It should be a short toast. The best theory I heard is that they should be able to stay it in two complete sentences.  I realize that's pretty short so I'd say 2 minute max.  Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

No lie, I usually can't stand long speeches at weddings, and our Best Man has a bit of a reputation for not knowing when to shut up (Both in being incredibly long winded and genuinely thinking something that's horrible/inappropriate is a sweet/funny story), so we told him "If you want to say something, keep it under 2 minutes". He did fine.

scrpio421

I would bet he's messing with you. I wouldn't get that worked up about it.

CAB1217

We had a video made by one of the groomsmen in where my now H says something pretty PG 13 about me. Embarrasing, yes. Did anyone care? Nope. Even his 91 y.o. conservative grandma thought it was funny. The kids are not scarred for life, everything was fine.

Let it go.

cokie216

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:09f3d371-ebf4-4902-b019-1c26ed7e2123Post:8a5e497b-fd50-4a97-a814-fcf8bc9c759d">Re: Best man speech</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man speech : This reminds me of a speech I read about (somehere on here) a long time ago.  The best man said something like, "I'm keeping this speech as long as the groom lasts in bed, so let's eat!"
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
Hilarious!  I would laugh my butt off, 

BMcLeodTeam

FI had a few too many to drink before making a speech at his sister's wedding. He proceeded to break a glass while saying "Here's to Mexico". They still laugh about it and I have a feeling his BM (his BIL, the groom at that wedding) will be including the line 'Here's to Mexico' for that very reason lol

Speeches can be comical, they can be something fun to look back on

kroot87

I'm super late to this thread, but I just want to say this: Let it go. You will not be able to control every little detail of your wedding day, no matter how much you try, and some things aren't going to go as planned. If you accept that and change your attitude about it, your wedding day will be much more enjoyable. He was probably joking, anyway.