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sphelan22

sorry for what I said and deleted it

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_preggo-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0dc9bdfb-30f4-4d1a-aedb-cc06ee822e6bPost:bc67efe9-359e-43c8-83d1-5b9c4d05e0c8">Preggo MOH...</a>:
[QUOTE]I just need someone to tell me if I am being a bridezilla or not! haha We got engagaged 7 months ago and are getting married on April 2, 2011.  I asked a close friend of mine to be my MOH about 6 months ago.  She is married to my fiance's best man and they started thinking about starting a family a few months ago.  I think that is wonderful for them but I was hoping they would at least wait 5 months until after our wedding.  A couple weeks ago, they told us that she is pregnant.  Yay! so happy for them on the outside.  She will be 7 months pregnant at our wedding.  On one hand:  I can help but feel like she is being a little selfish and starving for attention that she decided to get pregnant now.  She is that type of person that wants the spotlight all the time.  Before she was such a great MOH with helping me and giving me advice.  Now she is kinda MIA even though they live down the street from us.  I really need her help and it feels like shes forgotten about it.  All it is now is her and the baby... Was she really in THAT big of a hurry to get pregnant that she couldn't wait????  I know that she will want to leave the reception early and will take the best man with her.  I just don't want her missing out on anything and making my fiance's best friend miss it too.  Ok... On the other hand:  I feel HORRIBLE for thinking that way.  I should be happy for them.  This is a big part of their lives and I feel selfish for thinking they way I am.... But then again, our wedding is a big event!  Am I being crazy??
Posted by sphelan22[/QUOTE]

Oh. My. God.  Bridezilla is not the "B" word that comes to mind when describing you.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_preggo-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0dc9bdfb-30f4-4d1a-aedb-cc06ee822e6bPost:bc67efe9-359e-43c8-83d1-5b9c4d05e0c8">Preggo MOH...</a>:
[QUOTE]I just need someone to tell me if I am being a bridezilla or not! haha We got engagaged 7 months ago and are getting married on April 2, 2011.  I asked a close friend of mine to be my MOH about 6 months ago.  She is married to my fiance's best man and they started thinking about starting a family a few months ago.  I think that is wonderful for them but I was hoping they would at least wait 5 months until after our wedding.  A couple weeks ago, they told us that she is pregnant.  Yay! so happy for them on the outside.  She will be 7 months pregnant at our wedding.  On one hand:  I can help but feel like she is being a little selfish and starving for attention that she decided to get pregnant now.  She is that type of person that wants the spotlight all the time.  Before she was such a great MOH with helping me and giving me advice.  Now she is kinda MIA even though they live down the street from us.  I really need her help and it feels like shes forgotten about it.  All it is now is her and the baby... Was she really in THAT big of a hurry to get pregnant that she couldn't wait????  I know that she will want to leave the reception early and will take the best man with her.  I just don't want her missing out on anything and making my fiance's best friend miss it too.  Ok... On the other hand: <strong> I feel HORRIBLE for thinking that way.  I should be happy for them.  This is a big part of their lives and I feel selfish for thinking they way I am.... </strong>But then again, our wedding is a big event!  Am I being crazy??
Posted by sphelan22[/QUOTE]
Trust this instinct.  It's dead on.

Anysunrise

Yeah, I'ma go ahead and say you're being a little ridiculous. Who cares if she's 7 months pregnant at your wedding? She's not going to pop the kid out on your gift table. She's also not obligated to help you with anything, or do anything beyond show up. Asking someone to be your MOH should be "Will you stand up with me while I get married, because you're an important person on my life?" not "Will you stuff invitations, make favours, throw me parties and obsess about my wedding with me? Oh, and stand up with me, almost forgot."

And sorry, but imo bringing another human being into the world /> wedding. I can't really blame her for being distracted because she's pregnant with her first child.

tidetravel

Your wedding is important... to you.  No one else is, or should be, expected to put their lives on hold for you to get married.  Just because someone goes off and gets married, or buys a house, or graduates college, or has a baby doesn't mean that they aren't happy for you.  Seriously.  Get over yourself 

Also, if you need help planning your wedding, you have a FI.  Talk to HIM about your plans.  Here is a list of MOH duties from Emily Post - you'll notice that no where does it say, "help bride plan wedding" or "throw parties."

http://www.emilypost.com/attendants   

MairePoppy

Definitely bridezilla!

mattycam

There have been quite a bit of posts from other brides similar to yours. People are not going to see this in your favour.

trix1223

This is MUD isn't it?  Because there can't really be someone who expects their WP to put their ENTIRE lives on hold until after their wedding.

 Please tell me that it's MUD.  Please be MUD.  Please, please, please be MUD.

Also I hate the word Preggo.

SarahPLiz

This one is believable.

OP, FWIW, my friend is getting married in March and 3 out of 4 of her attendants are TTC. She doesn't care. Our sex lives and family plans have absolutely NOTHING to do with her wedding. She would never try to micromanage her friends and sisters lives like that. 

redheadfsu

Be happy for her.

A MOH isn't your wedding planner or your paid vendor, so don't expect her to act like she is.

Habs2Hart

My MOH (matron of honour) is DUE a week before my wedding.  She's stepped down, and I pray she can even make it to the wedding.  I am deleriously happy for her and can't wait for the baby to come!!!!

You get a day.  Your marriage and her baby are the important things, not your wedding.

Take a step back and re-evaluate your expectations.

jessienjeremy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_preggo-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:0dc9bdfb-30f4-4d1a-aedb-cc06ee822e6bPost:67882c5d-4067-4587-9b9a-f46f8538e653">Re: Preggo MOH...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I'ma go ahead and say you're being a little ridiculous. Who cares if she's 7 months pregnant at your wedding? <strong>She's not going to pop the kid out on your gift table.</strong> She's also not obligated to help you with anything, or do anything beyond show up. Asking someone to be your MOH should be "Will you stand up with me while I get married, because you're an important person on my life?" not "Will you stuff invitations, make favours, throw me parties and obsess about my wedding with me? Oh, and stand up with me, almost forgot." And sorry, but imo bringing another human being into the world /> wedding. I can't really blame her for being distracted because she's pregnant with her first child.
Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

Ok that cracked me up.

Someone shouldnt have to plan their future around your wedding. One of my bridesmaids just found out she was prego. She will be 4 months at our wedding. My first reaction was .. OMG Congrats! I told her if they charge her for taking her dress back to get a bigger one let me know and I will split the cost. 

alecat9

Babies trump weddings every time. Do you seriously think she and her husband decided she should get pregnant just for the attention and to steal the spotlight at your wedding? Really?
I agree, please let this be MUD.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

You know I wouldn't want to be a pregnant bridesmaid, but that's just me.  If she wants to be a pregnant bridesmaid, then maybe - just MAYBE - her life she's building with her husband and their choice of when to start their family is a tish more important to them than her being seven months pregnant at your wedding.

Give it up.  Come on now.

TheCranberry

Definitely do not share this with anyone other than your FI (and make sure he knows not to tell his friend).  Your friend would be terribly upset if she knew you felt this way.  Your wedding is an important day, but pregnancy and having babies are also important times in your friend's life.  Whenever you start to feel that way, try to channel those feelings into being a supportive friend for her.

sphelan22

ok... I'm sorry.  I was venting which was a mistake and I apologize.  I was just being honest about how I felt.  I will change my attitude about the situation.  I feel sick over it and reget saying anything.  Thanks for the honest remarks. 

vixey

Don't delete your original post.  It's obnoxious.  Not to mention pointless because you were quoted several times

HobokensFury

Wow.  I hope you feel terrible about what you said because it's just wrong.

NillaWafer10

OP, I think that you're right that you just need to change your attitude about the situation. It's really easy to get caught up in the wedding haze, but the fact of the matter is, your wedding is a ceremony and a party.  Your best friend is bringing a little person in the world! 

To make up for having hurt feelings towards her, try to accommodate for her.  Pick a gown that will make her feel glamorous and not fat, ask her to wear a comfortable shoes, and make sure she eats and drinks plenty. By taking these extra steps, she (and the best man) may even stay longer than anticipated.

Good luck!

JJWillis3

One of my bridesmaids is TTC. They have been trying for almost a year. They are going to go see a fertility Dr in a few months if there still isn't any good news soon. I was one of the people who suggested her going to see the Dr! If she does get pregnant, and is pregnant at my wedding, then I will be elated that she is pregnant! When we picked out BM dresses we chose an empire waiste so that if she got pregnant she can still wear the same dress.

I personally have three kids and possibly want another in the future. All of my kids are three years apart. So, if we do have another one then I am going to want him/her to be three years after my youngest. If we start trying and someone asked me to be in their wedding you better believe me that I am not going to throw off this pattern that I love so much just because I will have a big belly?!?! This is MY child... a human being that my FI and I have made!!! A life! A human! A person!

If I were your friend and found out that you felt that way... and even laughed about it... I would be completely disgusted and hurt. Thanks for being sucha  great friend!