Advice for wedding this weekend

giller2

I received an email from my cousin, who originally replied to say her and her husband were coming to the wedding.  Now he husband is not coming, as he is staying home to watch their youngest child, and she asked if she could bring her other daughter with her to the wedding and ceremony.I don't know what to do.  I did not invite any of my cousin's children to the wedding.  I did however invite my neices and nephews.  I can't reply to her and tell her no kids, but I am afraid it will look bad if she shows up with a child and none of my other cousins got to bring their kids.She left the email that if I don't get back to her, she will assume that means she can bring her daughter. Should her daughter come?  Help

kmmssg

No, you need to respond to her.  Just tell her that you were unable to invite all of the family children and decided that the appropriate place to stop was with nieces and nephews.  Just explain to her that you did not invite any of the other cousins' children and you know there will be hurt feelings if her daughter comes and the others were not invited. You do not owe her any more explanation than that.  She is putting you on the spot and being rude.

giller2

Thanks for the reply.  I am glad to hear it's not wrong for me to say no.  )

trix1223

ditto kmm's excellent advice.

jeannigirl

No she can't come. Did you not emphasize that to her already. If husband is staying home with one child why would she bring another one? People just try to push the envelope. Send an email and tell her no that you have invited only neices and nephews to wedding. She can either accept that or not come. It will be her choice.

AlexiaANDRobert

You do not owe her any more explanation than that. She is putting you on the spot and being rude.That's a bit much.  I don't think she's being rude in ASKING a question.Is she traveling? Maybe she doesn't want to travel alone?  is this an older daughter?  If she plus one'd, maybe she thinks the meal will be wasted if she doesn't come with someone.Politely explain the situation just as you explained.  You had to draw the line somewhere.GL!

ffmaid

You shoudl say no to the add on. You are sorry but it simply is not possible to extend teh invite to oldest daughter at this time although you woudl love to see her and her entire family sometime soon after the wedding

chance_encounters

Wow some people get very snipy in here.  It is your choice.  Do you want her there?  Why did you allow some children and not others?  If you do not want her there I would simply say "I am really sorry but our budget is tight and she can not come.  I hope you understand.  I really look forward to seeing you at the wedding."  Either way that you decide I would either e-mail her or call her back.

kinsey0628

i don't think it would be a big deal if you let her bring her daughter.  otherwise, the extra plate of food will go to waste right?  how old is the daughter?  i don't think your other cousins will care that much if they see her.  if they get mad that they didn't bring their kids, that's their own problem.  i would think it would be apparent that her daughter was her +1, since her husb. isn't there.  your other cousins might get more annoyed if she showed up with her husband, and 2 kids in tow.  but if she only shows up with her daughter, i just don't think it's a big deal.  also, from your post, it doesn't sound like you are against having the daughter there, only that you are worried your other cousins might not appreciate it.  so in that case, i say just let her bring her daughter and don't worry about what your other cousins say.  if they have a problem with it, i tihnk they are being petty.however, if you personally don't want your cousin's daughter there for whatever reason, i think it's fine to tell her no, and explain what you had said about which children were invited.  it just seems in your post like you don't care if she comes, just don't want to upset your other cousins.