Step Sister as my bridesmaid

anease1

I asked my step sister, who I am not really close to, to be in my wedding. We were really close when we were kids but that was because I was at my dad's house every other weekend. Now that we are both in our mid 20's our relationship is bare minimal. At first when I asked her she was very excited and we talked atleast once a week. I have emailed all of my bridesmaid atleast once a month just to give them updates and to remind them to order their dress. Well I have always received a response back from everyone but her. I have also tried to call her, text her, email her and facebook her as well, and still no response. I talked to my dad the other night and asked him if she was still planning on being in the wedding and he said yes she was but she has just been "really busy" lately. Well, I mean so have I to with planning a wedding but I still find time to email and keep in contact with my bridesmaids. I am wondering how I can ask her if she is still wanting to be in my wedding or not. What is the best way to address this?

jeannigirl

So Nov is your wedding date not to far away. I can see the nervousness in that for you. I know I would be getting concerned. I can understand about the business of people lifes. It is rude on her part  that you have not gotten any response back from her. I would make one more attempt and give her a deadline that she needs to get her dress and let you know or you will assume that she has no interest in being part of your WP. I know that sounds probably harsh, but I think that it is so wrong for people that a bride asks to be in her party that they can't even take a minute to respond to a attempt to reach her, makes you want kick their butt to the curb. (hahaha) Well hope she gets her head out and will have the respect to response to you. Hey how exciting you will be married soon and thats all that matters.

anease1

Thanks! i think that is what i will do!

ffmaid

Sounds liek you barely talked before asking her and now you suddenly expect to talk a ton just because she is your bm. That is silly. She needs to order her dress and show up and taht is it. Once a month bm updates is too much and also send the message that you do not care about her as a person just as a bm. Honestly if your only contact is wedding related any normal person would be annoid. Call or email or chat with her about non wedding related stuff why not find out what she is busy doing ect??? BE a friend and a sister and then worry about your 1 party day

anease1

wow! really? and no, I was not just contacting her JUST FOR MY WEDDING! I have called and invited her on trips with me and my fiancé and I have called and told her congrats on graduating from LSU and happy birthday on her birthday (like I have done every year)! Am I expecting her to become best friends with me just because I have asked her to be in my wedding? NO! but when she called me and told me that she got my "will you be my bridesmaid card" she was honored that I would ask her. and in that convo we both had said that this is a great step for us to start our "grown up" relationship. there has many many attempts on my part in trying. and not just bc she is in my bp. I think it was a good decision to ask her and at first we were both really excited! And now it’s just one sided on my side. But I am not trying to start anything over an internet board but maybe you just need to stop being such a pessimist.

ffmaid

You said "I asked my step sister, who I am not really close to, to be in my wedding......Now that we are both in our mid 20's our relationship is bare minimal. "This makes me think that you have a minimal relationship with your step sister. Calling on birthdays and graduation as you later post  is an example. So you have a bare minimal relationship You said" I have emailed all of my bridesmaid atleast once a month just to give them updates and to remind them to order their dress. "This means you are pestering your BM with monthly emails about your wedding details. They do not need updates just what dress and when. If you were barely in contact before this will come across as pushyYou said""I talked to my dad the other night and asked him if she was still planning on being in the wedding and he said yes she was but she has just been "really busy" lately. "But you did not say why and that makes it look liek you honestly do not know what it is in her life that is really busy. you did not even say that you then understood or asked about what was up or wrong.You said"Well, I mean so have I to with planning a wedding but I still find time to email and keep in contact with my bridesmaids."This shows that you think planning your wedding is more important than anything else taht could possibly be going on in anyone elses life. Planning a wedding is not all that hard in reality and is only hard if you make it so You said"What is the best way to address this? "The answer is to start being considerate of her and to realizze that just because you are getting married your basic relationship does not change you were distant before you are distant now and just because you are engaged no happy pixy dust happened to your other relationships. She has a life too that you are not respecting and you were distant when asked the logical conclusion is unless you do something to become closer is that she will be distant and chatting me me me me you must fuss over me I am a bride is not going to bring you closer. Gradually caring about her and what happens in her life will make her care more about your life too.

anease1

how in the world you got out of my original post that i am selfish and that i think planning a wedding is the most important thing and that everyone who is involved with it should stop what they are doing and pay attention to me!!! My wedding is in 2.5 months and if I need to find another bridesmaid i need to know! and perstering them with my emails? i dont email them telling them what they need to do and when they need to do that. I fill them in on what is going on with my planning and just stuff in general. i dont know if you have ever planned a wedding in 6 months but it is in fact not easy. and planning a wedding in general is not easy. so either you in fact have never been married or if you have just had the blessing of having someone else plan it for you, think before you type.