Long Engagement

klanni878

My wedding isnt for 3 years and I'm so excited about my wedding but's getting hard at times knowing that my wedding is so far off... anyone have some advice on how to deal?

Asheia

I am having an 18 month engagement, but knew it was going to happen for a year prior to his actual proposal. My best advice is for now just get general ideas of what you want and what you're willing to bend on. Don't try to book anything or nail anything down for a while (unless you live in a very large city where you pretty much have to in order to have your choice). Try not to focus on it too much. Start collecting pictures of what you like and even what you don't like. I collected what I didn't like so I could show people what I really did not want b/c for me it was easier to say I didn't like something than to pinpoint what I did like. I think the most important thing is relax and enjoy the time you have as a technically single person. I'm painting my bathroom pink because once I'm married I couldn't be that cruel to my FI/husband. So, do something that only un-married people get to do. Really that's just a matter of your opinion and relationship. Oh, and enjoy your time together before the real wedding madness hits.

ffmaid

Start a savings fund for the wedding. And if you have ideas file them in a binder  but basically stop planning and stressing for at least another year. Relax and enjoy being engaged

Duckyoflove13

I won't be getting married until spring of 2012, so I deffinitly understand! Ditto from the pps. Don't worry too much, and don't pin point anything yet because you may just change your mind later. Look at what you like and don't like. Also, if you think you'll need it, do start a savings for your wedding. I'm doing the same. Look at it this way, you have extra time that a lot of other brides don't to plan your big day!

JillianAshley6

Enjoy your time....my wedding is in 3 weeks and I am so stressed right now I can barely stand it. My poor FI is probably going to change his mind once he sees what a crazy I am. J/K.....at least I hope! But seriously.....enjoy the time before you have to plan....maybe throw a party to celebrate....not to get gifts or anything, but just to hang out with your closest friends/family and show off your gorgeous ring and let people congratulate you! Something easy like an informal backyard BBQ, or a pasta night.....maybe you could tie it into a football game (Sat or Sun evening) if you have a favorite team, or live in a city with a popular team....just added entertainment.  

LesPaul

Agree w/ pps - relax and enjoy being engaged.  Start a binder and collect a few photos of colors, or dresses, or ideas, but don't start obsessing about details.  Definitely don't book anything yet, as you will probably change your mind and it's too early to book particular vendors.  Lurk these boards for ideas too, and join the board for your particular date.  I was engaged for 15 months, and didn't really get into serious planning until the last few months.

Ricke

I usually just lurk here, but when I saw this, I had to post!   By the time we get married (next month), we will have been engaged for 2 1/2 years.  It starts out slow, but trust me, the time will fly! Ditto pp on the "relax and enjoy."  On the planning-front, just start looking at other knotties' bios and collecting pictures you like.  If you live in a big area, you may want to book your reception hall and ceremony location in a year or so (we booked ours almost 2 years out) but I'd end it there for booking.  In my experience, most vendors don't book until 1 year out.If you are planning any DIY projects, go ahead and do some mock-ups.  I think my table numbers were done about a year ago.   Just do things that won't change no matter what.  Like my table numbers... I knew that even if we had to change the date, the table numbers would stay the same.  Especially if you're looking to DIY invitations, get to looking at what you might want.  I worked on my invitations (off and on of course) for about 1 1/2 years.  They take a LOT of time but I thought it was worth it (saved a lot of $).Oh, and don't pick your wedding party yet!  Hope that helps... enjoy your time!

MLC613

I am having a 2 year engagement so I know how you're feeling about it seeming so far away!! My best advice is to always remember you're doing whats best for you and your finance. Everyone will give you their input (TRUST ME!!) and many of them will say "WOW you're really waiting THAT long!!!??" but what i always say is yes, i know it seems like a long time away, but it's perfect for us!" (and that's totally the truth!)I love having a long engagement. It's definitely not for everyone, but i am such a planner and i need to plan out everything. This allows me to do so, and allows me to save for it!! CONGRATS AND GOOD LUCK!!!

LesPaul

one more thing - ask around.  my pianist, florist, caterer, cake guy, photographer, and venue all came from either friends or word-of-mouth referrals.  by asking, you'll find people know people, and will help you get in contact.

TheCatSaidQuack

I had a three year long engagment too (not planned, though). Honestly? Don't do about anything wedding related for a another year and a half...sure, you can think about ideas, etc, but don't put down any money or buy anything. Your style and wedding plans may change a lot over 3 years, and you don't want to regret or waste any money. When we first started planning our wedding, we had a completely different idea of our wedding then what is happening now. Just enjoy being engaged - time will fly by!

jackie8582

WOW! I am so glad I came across this post, I just got engaged a few weeks ago and will not be getting married until 2011. It is driving me nuts, I work well under pressure and kind of wish it was crunch time! I just keep telling myself that the more time I have, the more options and ideas I will get to see and have time to pay attention to every single detail.

What08

I've been engaged since April 2007 and we are just now getting married November 7th this year.  It may take a while to get here but once the planning starts, time will fly.  Enjoy the time without having to worry about vendors and crazy family, lol.  Good Luck!!

Curucu

I'm in the same boat.  I got engaged in 2008 and am getting married in 2010....November, no less.  At least we think November...might be October...anyway... I'm working on DIY projects (I can get myself into tons of trouble that way), reading magazines, clipping photos.  I actually have my dress, so its 'on ice' until next spring.  My big project is getting in shape!  I'm kinda happy to have some time to get the body I want before I start sizing my dress down!  And as others have said, save money!  Weddings are horrifyingly expensive.

KRHagen

When we get married in November, we will have had a 3.5 year engagement. It was really hard because all you want to do is get started. I had all of these grand plans of using my time wisely but my FI just did not get on board until about 1 year out. It was also really hard to do anything in advance because some vendors would just not book. 3 months to go and i am kicking myself for not going with the plan of doing things over time. I'm really busy and stress now.

jonicvanwie

Congrats on your engagement!! I got engaged July 2, 08 and our wedding is June 18, 2010, so I understand long engagements as well! I actually didn't mind being engaged that long, it allowed me to take my time, save some money and research everything I wanted to. I actually started planning shortly after our engagement, we had booked our reception site and I got my dress. A lot of people were saying it was odd, that I would probably change my mind, but I didn't on anything. I knew what I wanted and I was sticking with it. Go with your gut on things, you know what you want and what you like. Save the big bookings for when it gets closer to your date. Other than that, enjoy being engaged, enjoy the time you have and save lots of money!

mrskitton

I agree with all the posts on here....just save and relax for now! I will be engaged for 2.5 years, but I am glad we waited. Start looking into buying little things here and there for the wedding. If you know you will want favor boxes, order them now! BM gifts are great to look at buying after major holidays.....prices are majorly discounted!

pawsha

Start your wedding fund NOW!!! Then when it comes time to start booking things, you will be less concerned with finances and you will be able to enjoy the planning process and be less stressed. More brides then not that I have seen have been so miserable during their planning because all they are thinking about is "how am i going to pay for this?" Or, if your parents are paying for it, it will be a nice fund to start your lives together.

sserfass

Ok so I'm apparently long winded today, but I forgot a few important things.  Don't buy anything to early. You will change your mind or the style of the wedding a few times. Just catalog all your ideas. However, as you get a little closer, do look for deals on seasonal items. We saved a lot of money by buying all our fall decorations at the end of last season.

softball1603

Unlike you, I felt no need to plan right away, in fact I didn't really feel engaged becuz I knew it was going to be a few years before we were getting married.  We're getting very close to our wedding date and looking back I wish I would have planned a lot sooner!  I had to compromise on a lot and change venues and dates becuz of waiting to book everything.  So while I will tell you to relax-about 18 months from your wedding I would get everything booked!  and send an alarm out that that is your date!  (to prevent schedule mistakes)  Also after you book your vendors, call back a week later and confirm they have you in their book!!!!

JDechen

I had a long engagement, around 2 years and am getting married next month.  I really enjoyed having a long engagement, except for people making the occasional "wait, you're not married yet?" comments.  it's really nice though b/c you don't have to be rushed or stressed during the planning process, we would plan for a month or two and then relax for a month, do little DIY projects a bit at a time (I slowly did our DIY invites over 6 months, and never had to scramble to finish them all in one weekend).  Also, it was really good b/c some vendors do book up quickly.  We even had one who was already booked 1 1/2 out and our photography studio had half of their photogs already booked, so if there are vendors that you really want, it's never to early to book them.  And like pp said, def start saving asap.  I don't think we went into wedding saving mode soon enough, and that's my biggest regret. 

Future Mrs. Lindstrom

Our actual engagement was 2 years though we knew we were getting married way before the.Use the time to try on every dress you like, get samples of invitations, listen to reception music, research every wedding/reception location/wedding night hotel, honeymoon idea, registry items, etc.Just have fun with it.

A-D

FI proposed in Jan. '08... it felt like it would NEVER come, but now we are 64 days away, and time is just FLYING by. SAVE like you have never saved before. In 6 months, I managed to save $11,000 for the wedding. I never thought it possible, but apparently I am a total money hoarder! Enjoy time with you FI without wedding chat. FI and I hit a rough patch a few month ago, where we felt like we didn't even know each other anymore because it was all wedding or work. We had to take a step back and just enjoy each other's company again. Now we are happy as clams again!Keep ideas in a folder (digital or c&p form). They will come in handy. Do lots of research on locations, but remember, most will increase their prices each year. Have fun finding ideas and let people get their opinions out of the way early - you will have to listen to them biitch less later on. GL!

kelliebean

My Fiance asked me to marry him june 27 2008, we're getting married june 13 2010. Just enjoy the long engagement. I have so much planned now, its just fine tuning the details. Also, start a savings fund, that way you're not looking under the couch cushion for dimes 6 wks before the wedding. i've already designed the invitations, found the dress i want, found the bm's dresses, secured the church, reception hall, photographer, dj and videographer. i would say look into securing those now, lots of times you will get an early bird special; and sometimes if there is a coupon or a deal any of those places have now you can secure it now and use that deal 2 or 3 years later, or whenever your wedding is! just enjoy being engaged and getting to know your soon to be husband even more!

immnslylcky

We got engaged last year in June and are not tying the knot until Feb. 2011. I have those moments where I want the wedding to be next month because I am tired of waiting! Then I look back and realize...we have already been engaged for over a year! The time does go by fast! Definately start saving if you have not already. It helps in the long run to get ahead. It does not hurt to start looking online for ideas. We started looking at reception halls online last year. We went in October last year to look at a few, but did not book the reception hall we decided on until a few months ago. Having time to decide on the big things helps! We found it an advantage to having our wedding out so far in advance. We did not have to worry about our wedding date already being booked by another couple when we decided to book the reception hall. The more you are able to look at ideas now...the less stress it will cause you later. You have plenty of time, so relax and have fun with everything!

RcJag2

My engagement will be about 2 1/2 years by the time we get married in June. The best thing about a long engagement was being able to save money and buy things slowly. Start buying some of the things you know your going to need. Hit the after holiday sales and see what you can find. You may not want to lock yourself into a color scheme yet, but some of the basics you may want (such as candles or lighting) shouldn't change even if your color scheme does. and yes, the time does fly.... enjoy it!!

ashleyandjerry2010

We got engaged in April 2007 and are getting married in May. It's rough having a long engagement, but it's nice becuase you can save up money, get ideas of what you want, I got a ton of my stuff cheap because I got it on sale at stores that clearanced it out. Just enjoy the time together and start thinking of what exactly it is you want. Def. don't ask anyone to be in your wedding party yet though, but you can decide on a date, a ceremony and reception location. have fun!

faith194

We've been together for 8 and a half years. Engaged Dec 07, and we were just married a month ago. This event was something that was a looong time in the making. Don't make any decisions on a wedding party or even a dress--Styles will change, and you probably won't want to be a 2 dress bride.  I did buy a lot of thing on clearance that in the end I did not need or want--so be careful you aren't spending extra on stuff you wouldn't normally want/buy.  Right now, enjoy dreaming of your day, create a budget, and start saving--like everyone is saying. You may want to start looking at venues, but I'd even wait another 6 months to a year, just in case! However, your venue may offer you to pay for 2009/2010 prices, instead of the price of food/venue in 2012/2013(that could save you lots of money!). I'd just be sure it is the venue of your dreams, because you don't want to have to pull out of a contract and lose money on that.  We booked a 14 months out, and only Fridays were available at that point, so that is something also you need to consider.Good luck and enjoy your time!

balletnerd

I am in the exact situation right now! So glad to hear that I am not alone. I just got engaged this June after dating for 4 years and will not get married for at least 3 years as well due to us being so young. (he's 19 im 20...we need to finish school). The first thing we did..after telling all my friends and family is open a joint savings account. We already have a bunch of money saved up which will help us with our wedding/future home. Next week we will be taking our engagement photos and soon we will make our engagement annoucements for the newspaper. We are also planning on having an engagement party. It's little things like that, that are helping me through this process so far. I have time to consentrate on each little thing so that it turns out perfect! Our familys also met for the first time which was nice. About actually planning the wedding I think everyone else on this site has given great advice so thank you! So far I have bought a few books from the used book store just to get an idea of what I am getting into. I think for the first year I'm just going to read about things and get a general idea of what I like, such as what month I would like my wedding, ect. The second year I think I will really start to narrow things down. and a year and a half in I want to really start the planning process. (though I would love to start everything now!)Good luck! were in this togeather = )