Change the date??

cathleen.e

My wedding is set for Jan. 2, 2010 in Oregon. I am starting to have issues with my mom's family who are coming from Washington. They are all saying they won't be able to make it because of the weather ( but won't know for sure until about a week before my wedding). They are talking about it behind my back saying things like why am I having at that time, why can't I push the date back so they can make it, etc. My mom said it will break her heart if her family can't make it. I don't want to change my wedding date, but I don't know what to do about it. I feel they are becoming selfish about it. Any ideas, tips, or advice???

tidetravel

They aren't necessarily being selfish.  I would imagine mid-winter weather in Washington/Oregon can be very bad, and it's New Year's weekend, so travel expenses will be higher for OOT guests.  While I acknowledge that you aren't going to make everyone happy and you shouldn't have to change your date for them, this seems important to your mom.Can you change the date w/o losing deposits?  Most vendors will allow you to change the date to another open one without penalty. 

jeannigirl

 I don't think this is being selfish at all. I think that they are looking out for their own safety and well fare.Is there some particular reason why you are having it in Winter time? You may want to consider moving it before or after the bad winter months. Personally I would not travel in bad weather for a wedding, I don't want to risk my life. You could have it when ever you want but you will have to face the fact that probably none of the family that lives in WA will be able to make it. Or you could do it in WA closer to them. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Asheia

Originally my date was going to be Jan 23, 2010. I had the same problems with my family. Obviously I folded. However, I think you need to think about what is right for you and your FI. If the second has sincere meaning and that part of the family being there wouldn't break YOUR heart then don't change it. If they come awesome. If not, well sorry mom. Now, they have valid points about that area in that time frame, but you aren't being unreasonable. Lots of people have weddings there around that time. I went to one last year on December 26th. I live in Oklahoma. I missed christmas with my family. Its your ONE day. You aren't asking them to come every year. Just once.

trix1223

I think you are being selfish.  You're asking people to book flights, which may or may not be cancelled due to bad weather for your event.If weather is an issue, they are now holding airline tickets for a wedding they may not be able to attend.  That's the only reason they spent money on the tickets, and now won't be at the wedding anyway.Then they're holding reservations for rental cars and hotel rooms which may or may not be refundable.In addition, travel is always more expensive over the holidays.  So you're asking people to shell out even more money, again for an event that they might not get to.Finally, you're asking people to give up their holidays for your wedding.   It's one thing to give up July 14 for a wedding, but the holiday season?I wouldn't have an issue with the date for a local wedding.  But I'd think long and hard about all booking a trip in a season that's dicey weather-wise.Yeah, I don't see why you can't reschedule.

kschwedic

I don't think you're being very selfish and I disagree with the majority of the people that have replied to your post.  I'm having my wedding January 23, 2010.  I don't live up north so the weather isn't as big a problem, but anything can happen as it has in the past. You obviously picked your date for a reason.  I know that my fiance and I picked our date for a special reason, and wouldn't consider changing it.  Of course, it will hurt if some people aren't there for our big day, but I would understand.  If they are looking out for their safety, that's completely fine--but I'm not going to change MY wedding date for them.  This is a date that will mean something to me for the rest of my life.  I can always send them pictures. I can understand your mom being upset that members of the family won't be able to make it, but I don't think it's fair that she's trying to convince you to change the date.  You could check into other venues that are closer to WA if you haven't booked already.  And surely, if you let those relatives know in advance about the date, then they most likely haven't bothered getting plane tickets, etc. just yet because they are complaining about the weather.  If I knew the weather was a risk, I wouldn't order the plane tickets.  I would just kindly decline the invite. It's definitely a sticky situation, but I personally feel that you shouldn't change the date that means a lot to you and your fiance just for a few relatives.  Good luck!