Am I being reasonable?

FutureMrsTowns

ok, my FH said he wanted to dance with his mom to the song "A Song For Mama" by Boys II Men. but, when I listen to the lyrics of the song, they kinda make me feel like "is there any room for me in your heart?" The song is from a son's perspective talking to his mom, about how she's "the queen of [his] heart" and it says other things like "You'll always be the girl in my life" I told him that might not be the best message to try to get accross at our wedding. I'm dancing with my dad to "Butterfly Kisses" my Bob Carlisle, which is like from a dad's perspective, talking about his daughter, and having to let her go in the end. I kind of think that the song he dances with her should honor their relationship, but also leave room for them to let go, (the "leave, and cleave" idea), but maybe I'm taking it too seriously? or being too literal? maybe I'm letting my own insecurities get in the way? I don't know, what do you think?

goheels05

I think on this one, you should let it pass.  I feel you on the lyrics, I really do.  I think it's kind of goofy.  But this is one of the things the groom gets to decide.  Don't worry too much, your guests will pay less attention to the lyrics and more to the moment.  HTH.

peachkins

I think you're taking it too seriously.  I looked at the lyrics, and while I understand what you're saying, I think he probably just thinks the song is appropriate for the occasion and will mean a lot to his mom.  If that's the song that he really wants to dance with his mom to, I would just let him.  My dad just told me the other day that he wanted to dance with me to Heartland's "I Loved Her First."  When I told FI what the song was and that it was basically a message from the bride's father to the groom, he thought he was about to be lectured.

Leah&Christian09

Don't push the issue. It will just make you look controlling. It's his song with his mom. Let him pick whatever he wants. How would you feel if he tried to tell you what song you could dance to with your father?

lissa71679

My friends husband danced to the song with his mom and it was sweet as can be.  I cant say I even remembered the words til you wrote them. i dont think anyone would be like "oh my god this song is offensive to the bride"  its a sweet song to a mother, dont read more into it than you have to I think the song is suppose to let a mother know that they will always be special to them.  It can be tough for mothers to let go of their sons.  It just lets her know he loves her and always will.

banana468

As long as that's not how he feels, let it go.  If it is how he feels, don't marry him.

trix1223

You're overthinking this.  Your guests are probably not going to listen all that closely to the lyrics of the song your FI and his mom dance to.Reality check:  what were the groom/MOG or bride/FOB songs at the last 6 weddings you attended?  Can't remember?  That's because other than a bride planning her own wedding, people just don't pay all that much attention to it.

bbyckes

Let him choose the song that he wants.  Complaining about this sounds incredible petty on your part.  I've been to weddings where this was the mother/son dance and no one is even going to be paying attention to the lyrics.  I hope you let it go.

kmmssg

You are overthinking this way too much.  If his relationship with his mother is a problem, you would already know that.  What they dance to for 3 minutes isn't what defines it, and it surely doesn't define how he feels about you.  I definitely think you are letting your own insecurities get in the way.

Megan031710

Guys don't think the way we do, and besides that you really have to pick your battles. If giving him this song means he won't fight you on Venues, Food, or Photography maybe the concession is a good thing. Besides that he is probably just thinking of doing a nice gesture for his mother at your wedding. Good luck!

joebeth22

banana468 NAILED IT.  Reread what she wrote. 

sammyjo0320

i think you are taking is way seriously. it is just a song. if he didnt love you..he probably wouldnt be marrying you. im sure you wouldnt like it if he told you he didnt want you to use the song you chose. thats his dance with his mother..you really have no say in the song. so i say just get over and and focus your attention on something more important.

VeganBride2008

you are being unreasonable.  the love between a mother and a son is completely different from the love between a husband and a wife.  you don't have to make their relationship any less just so that yours can be and frankly, if i were your fiancee i would be concerned about your distress over some song lyrics i picked to express my feelings to my mother.  she is not an ex-girlfriend, she is his mother.  you are not in competition for his love, leave this one alone.

blynn03

If it makes you feel any better, I recently went to a wedding where the groom danced to "Mother" by Pink Floyd.  That song is about a really messed up mother-son relationship - the mom builds a wall around the son, is super over-protective, and gets really mad when he grows up and falls in love.  (I like to think that the bride and groom had no idea what the lyrics were, and being friends with the bride, it wouldn't surprise me at all.)  But anyways, the point is, they picked a TERRIBLE song and still only a handful of the 300+ people there even noticed.  Everyone else seemed to be just caught up in the moment. 

mizdiz444

I would let it go.  It's 3 minutes of your life.  My FI picked "Time In a Bottle" by Jim Croce, and I was like ooooooohhhhh no!  That is so depressing!!!  I didn't say anything because it is his choice.  It's one of the few decisions he got to make.