BM question

kschwedic

Hey ladies :)I was hoping that you all would give me some of your great advice!I'm getting married January 23.  I have two bridesmaids who mean the world to me.  My best friend, though, isn't a bridesmaid.  She joined the marines before all of the wedding planning started, and it wasn't guaranteed that she would be able to come to the wedding at all, so we both agreed that she not be a bridesmaid.  It really sucks, because the two of us are so close.Well, she texted me this morning to find out the exact date of the wedding so that she can put in a request for leave.  If it's approved, which there is a 95% chance it will be, she will be here on the 22-25.  Our rehearsal dinner is on the 22nd, so she would be able to make it to that, etc.  My question is: should I ask her that, if it's approved very soon, will she be a bridesmaid? Or should I continue on with her just being a guest? It would mean a ton to me if she could be in the wedding, and I know it would mean a lot to her, too.  We haven't even started putting together our programs yet, so we could still have her included.  And our colors are marine blue, and silver so she could very easily wear her dress blues and still "match."  I don't even care if she matches my other bridesmaids.What do you ladies think? Should I just invite her as a guest and call her my honorary bridesmaid, or go ahead and ask her to be one?

cbjk

I think you should definitely add her in if she is going to be available! You could always ask her to be a "honorary bridesmaid" and actually have her stand at the altar or whatever with you.. That is what I'm doing in my wedding. My sister is pregnant and due the day of the wedding, so she is the "honorary matron of honor" and my best friend (who was in the wedding to sing) is my matron of honor. I'm just having my sister, if she is there, walk up with the ring bear and flower girl. That would be another option you could do...in case something comes up and she can't be there! Hope you figure everything out! Good luck! -J

ffmaid

Ask her to be a bridesmaid and then if she can not attend due to serving our country she can be an honorary bridesmaid. Sounds liek you and her are great friends and you want her as a BM well have her as a BM and honorary bm if unable to attend

ScarletGem

Yes, absolutely ask her to be a bridesmaid, whether she can make it or not.  It obviously would mean a lot to both of you. 

AlexiaANDRobert

I agree with PPs - ask her!

kate8987

I agree, add her as a bridesmaid. If something happens to where she can't make it its not either of your faults.

kschwedic

Thanks for your advice ladies! Everyone I've asked has said the same thing.  I emailed her this morning since she's at work and I didn't want to put it off much longer, and I'm just waiting on a reply.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed

goheels05

That's really great.  Come back after the wedding and let us know if she was able to come.My MOH is in the National Guard, and she got called up for active duty and a deployment to Iraq right before my wedding.  She was set to deploy 2 weeks after my wedding, but she had to go to training/debriefing for 6 weeks before leaving.  We didn't know until the last minute whether they were going to let her go home for the weekend to attend the wedding.  She ended up being able to come, though!  I put a little excerpt in the bulletin asking for prayers as she prepared for deployment.  She felt really honored and all the guests came up to thank her for her service to our country.