HOW LONG DID YOU DATE BEFORE YOU GOT ENGAGED?

mina&douglas

I'm sure this has been done a thousand times before, but I'm just curious if I'm out of my mind. A friend of mine is convinced her current boyfriend is the man she's supposed to marry. It's been 3 days that they've been "official" they've known each other for 5 years, but spent 3 years not talking. I think it takes more time to get to know someone to knwo they're the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.. opinions? TIA

tidetravel

2 months prior to being engaged, 9 months prior to being married.  We had dated for 2 years, but that was 8 years before we reconnected (most of which we spent not talking or even knowing each other's whereabouts).When you know, you know.

*BeachBride0410*

We started dating a couple weeks after we started talking, friendly.  He got a promotion 2 months later, and moved to Indianapolis.  So after 3 months of dating, I moved in with him, over 600 miles away from my hometown.  We had been dating 4 days shy of our 1 year anniversary when he proposed.

LesPaul

This time: Two years dating before engagement, then 15 months engaged before the wedding. First time: Knew him 4 months, engaged 4 days.  I don't recommend this, even though we were married >15 years.  If I had known him better I wouldn't have married him.

laurenclaire1386

FI and I were close friends for four years before we started dating.  I knew very shortly after we started dating that I wanted to marry him. I always thought "when you know, you know" was bologna until I just knew.  But yes, it's extremely important to be sure you actually *like* someone on a day to day basis before you marry him.  Being friends is an awesome start, IMO.

laurenclaire1386

I didn't answer your question, sorry.  FI and I had been together about a year and half when we got engaged.  Our engagement will be just over a year.  So total, when we get married, we will have been together about two and a half years.

Boofy&Babers

My FI and I became close friends first, we knew each other for 6 months before we became official, then it was about 3 1/2 years before we got engaged. We knew we wanted to marry each other and talked about it all the time but we were young when we got together and weren't in a rush. We got engaged in August 2007 and we're getting married this December 27 so it's an over 2 year engagement. We both decided to do that because we wanted to save money and I'm almost done with grad school now so things are getting settled down. Plus we're living together now which is always different no matter how long you've known somebody. She could be right about him, I've seen marriages after short relationships last and I've seen them fall apart.[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10714;6/st/20091227/e/Our+Christmas+Wedding%21/k/5ea1/event.png[/img][/url]

Koopa17

8 1/2 years, we were HS sweethearts, so a short dating period wasn't going to work for us.  We will be 25 and 24 when we get married.

Leah&Christian09

We dated for about 2-3 years before we got engaged. Why do you care if your friend thinks this guy is the one? I knew we would eventually get engaged long before we actually did. And if she's wrong, so what? You get to say I told you so?

mina&douglas

I really don't want to see her hurt. She's been hurt so many times in the past. She's already been engaged twice and they didn't work for her, this is the first guy that has treated her so well and i don't want her to fall for the first guy that's being nice to her, you know? It's nothing like an in your face thing. It would crush me to see her so hurt if things didn't work out between them as excited as she is now. I just don't want her to spend the rest of her life with someone she shouldn't've married to begin with. She doesn't believe in divorce.

tidetravel

It's nice that you're concerned for your friend, but she's an adult and can make her own decisions.  The fact is that everyone here has had different experiences, and none of them will have any affect on her relationship. I've known people that dated a relatively small amount of time that have been happily married for 30+ years.  And then there are people that dated for 10 years only to be divorced less than 2 years later.  She doesn't believe in divorce.Divorce is not Santa Claus.  It is real; it does happen.  For people to say that they don't "believe" in it is ridiculous.  I understand that what they are saying is that they believe in staying in a marriage through good times and bad, but if someone stays in a crappy relationship because they don't "believe" in divorce, well, that's their decision.  It's also interesting to see how many people say they don't "believe" in divorce until they are faced with the prospect of one.  Many people change their views on it, and, some people don't have a choice - divorce happens to them whether they believe in it or not.

Bobbysprncss

We were friends for about 2-3 years before we started dating, I was 16 at the time. We've been together 8 years and will be engaged about 1.5 years. We wanted to wait until I'm out of grad school and can save up the money to pay for the wedding ourselves.

trix1223

Engaged 7.5 months after first date.  But one month of that I was out of the country on a concert tour, and we had no communication at all.  We started talking "seriously" after about 3 weeks.  We were married 11 months after being engaged.  31 years later, he is still the one and only for me.My DD was engaged 9 months after they met, but within 6 weeks, my DIL and I predicted the engagement.  They were engaged for 18 months before their recent wedding.

salt78

We had been friends for several years before we started dating. We were together 13 months before he proposed and our engagement is 13 months long.

salt78

Oh and in defense of your friend, I knew I was going to marry FI really early in our relationship. It's not like she has gotten a proposal yet. Just because she feels this way doesn't mean that she is going to get engaged tomorrow. Don't rain on her parade.

bbyckes

3.5 years.

SarahPLiz

FI and I were together 2.5 years when we got engaged and will be at teh 3.75 year mark when we get married. However, I was with my XBF for 6 years and never got that far, for many many reasons that I am now SO thankful for. I knew from the first full day I spent with FI that he was the one, but we both wanted to just enjoy the experience of being together before documenting the commitment that we both had already made in our hearts On the other hand, my sister and BIL had been dating about 6 weeks when he proposed and they got married 2 weeks later in Vegas on their way to Cali to look at grad schools. That was over 10 years ago and they are still going strong. Point: everyone works on their own schedule. Some people get close really quickly while others keep their distance for a while before they really open up and get comfortable with one another.

Pirata13

7 months. But we started talking about gettting married 4 months in. And I started having thoughts about our weddign/marriage within a month or so after dating. I was a little freaked out. Then my friend who lives several states away texted me and said "I keep thinking what I'm going to wear to your wedding. It keeps popping in my head." I agree with pp (Tide?) who said when you know, you know.

stressfreeBride2be

I agree with Pirata and Tide...when you know, you know.  We had been dating 10 months when he proposed; we're getting married in December, so that would be about a 6 month engagement.

angeldeb2009

Hi! :-) We met in April 2008, got engaged in Aug this year, so that was after 16 months together. We are getting married in April 2010, so we will be married within two years of meeting. I knew pretty quickly that he was special - it was just different. We are both in our thirties (me early, him late), and have both had a few other relationships, so we knew what we were looking for - and that we'd found it. I also was quite ill over the last year (all better now! :-D) and he was amazing through that. I knew he wasn't just a good time guy, and it actually brought us much closer together. That probably deepened our relationship a good bit. If we had just had fun and fluff for those 16 months I think I would have been more cautious.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

We met 3 years ago. We started dating 9 months later, after he moved back to the US. We began talking about marriage/future/living together about 3 months later. 4 months after THAT he moved to my city and in with me. So we had known each other over a year and been dating 7 months when we moved in together. There was still a TON we didn't know about each other, but it was actually fairly easy, since we're both usually pretty laid back (him more than me) and our styles of cooking/cleaning mesh well.We got engaged a little more than 2 years after we started dating. Even though we "knew" we wanted to for a long time, we didn't want to rush it. We wanted to save for it. We wanted our lives to be stable. We wanted to make sure we knew each other very well, had met each other's families, etc.

michelle142

Dated for 3 years before getting engaged We were engaged for 1.5 years

ninjette04

HAHA... we (almost) 9 years before we were engaged... We knew each other for 3 yrs before we even got together.  By the time we get married it will be 10 yrs together.

knj92107

We were together 5.5 years when he proposed and we got married on the 7 year anniversary of the day we met.

mina&douglas

Yes, I know I can reply, and have once already.I know what my opinions were, I wanted yours, lol.I thought it was crazy to meet someone and know so quickly you were meant to be.. but apparently, not so much. I just didn't know. I suppose I couldn't fathom it because i've not felt that before. I knew when I started dating my love that i always wanted to be around him and what not, but I just found out so so much about him as time went by, you know? Especially after I moved in with him. Quite the complex man, almost as much so as me. I suppose it's just my opinion that all these steps were to be gone through before marriage. Also maybe just my parinoia.

Pirata13

and a side note, FI & I talked a lot about important things early on, so we knew we had very similar ideals and beliefs.  We met in October and by Christmas we'd discussed the big topics: finances, did we want children, etc.

txmom21

We'd known each other casually for a year before we really started hanging out. After 4 months of being good friends, we went on our first "official" date. We had our first wedding-related conversation 3 weeks later. He proposed 4 months after that conversation. Our wedding date is exactly 11 months from the day he proposed. Like pps, we "just knew".

roxchris

DH and I got engaged after dating for about 1 year and 4 months.  We were married just 3 days before our 2 year mark of being together. As for your friend and her bf, I think every relationship is different.  Yes, it is important to really get to know the person what you are going to marry. Perhaps you can express to her that you are just concerned and want to be sure that she is making the right decision and not rush into anything.  People change over the years, so maybe having a long engagement might be a good idea... The bottom line is if they are happy then that's really all that matters!

jennl4659

Koopa-WOW! FI and I have been dating for 8 1/2 years (9 years in March) and will be the same ages when we get married as the two of you.  Crazy!

BlueBalloon

We got engaged on our 6 month anniversary and will be married around our 2 year anniversary. I think when you know, you know. I was in a relationship for 5 years and wouldn't even consider getting married to him because it didn't feel right. With my fiance it felt right very early on.

scoetto

Started dating in April. Engaged in Aug. Eloped in Nov. Yup. It was quick. We were both 29 at the time. PPs are right. When ya know, ya know.