Guest List Issue!

Sewilson33

So I am writing up a guest list for my wedding and I know when it comes to who is invited your list is majority of  your parents friends. I have no problem with my dad's friends they are a hilarious and fun crowd. The problem is my Mom's friends... I can only name 1 woman out of all of her friends that I do not mind but I hate her husband! I feel bad because I grew up with 4 of the woman and my sister plans on inviting them to her wedding but I cannot stand these people. Not to be toooo judgemental  but they are all loud, rude, drunken messes who need to be babysat. My FI and I are the complete opposite of these people. We like to have fun and laugh and drink occasionally but I do not want to worry about people I do not ever see possibly ruin my wedding. Any thoughts??

squirrly

Why would you mostly invite your parents friends?  Are your parents paying for your wedding?  If so, let them write that portion of the guest list.  If you're paying - invite who YOU want to invite.

Sewilson33

My FI strongly believes in the traditional wedding guest list. And my Dad is paying for half the wedding. I also grew up with all of their different friends so they are technically considered family friends. Except with my Mom I have grown very distant from everyone on her side of the friend line. So 85% of our wedding is family and family friends the other 15% is whoever we want to invite from our friends. We are also on a tight budget so we are trying to stay under 125 people. But my issue is, is my sister is inviting my Mom's friends to her wedding do I technically have to invite them to mine??

AlexiaANDRobert

But my issue is, is my sister is inviting my Mom's friends to her wedding do I technically have to invite them to mine??I don't think so.You each have your own weddings and aside from grandparents and cousins, anyone else that is being invited is purely optional.

MissLeahM

I know when it comes to who is invited your list is majority of your parents friends.My list is mostly family. We are inviting only 10 friends, those who are closest to us. We will be inviting parent's friends to the reception afterwards, but not the dinner.

coreybride127

We are not inviting any of my parents' friends. My parents are footing half the bill, but they realize that it would mean more to me to have my family and MY close friends, not friends of theirs that I barely know. I love my rational parents...lol

Pirata13

My parents are paying for most of the wedding. Our guest list is mostly family & our friends, and 6 couples that my parents are good friends with. That's it.

Leah&Christian09

If your parents are paying, yes, they do get a say in the guest list. If you are paying, you can invite whomever you want. We asked out parents to make lists and then worked it out to fit in the number we had, basically 1/3 to each set of parents and 1/3 for us. "We will be inviting parent's friends to the reception afterwards, but not the dinner. " Whatever you do, don't do this. It is incredibly rude to invite people to only a portion of the event.

jeannigirl

But my issue is, is my sister is inviting my Mom's friends to her wedding do I technically have to invite them to mine?? Just because your sister is inviting these individuals doesn't mean you have to do the same, so I say No! This is your wedding not moms or dads so you choose who you want to invite. I know that you will get alot of people saying just because your parents may be paying some or all of your costs is that they get a say. I totally disagree with that and I am a mother who has a daughter that is in the stages of figuring out what her and FI want. Just because I am going to flip some $$ her way doesn't mean I have to have those strings attached to that $$. I would talk with all parents that are involved and tell them they have this number of guests that they can put on their Guest list has you both have people that you want ot invite and you should have the final say.

squirrly

Your wedding is for YOU, and your sister's wedding is for HER.  You don't have to have matching guest lists.  Seriously - your FI wants a "traditional guest list" and so you're inviting your parents friends instead of your own friends? 

kaynix21

Guest list wise, I'm in the same situation as you. We have to stay under 120, and my parents are paying for basically the entire wedding, except what I can put help save in the next eight months. FI and I have HUGE families who easily take up most of the list....so my dad really wanted to tinvite some of his friends, and people who have known me since I was a baby, even though I didn't want them there necessarily. However, with the vastness of our family, we had to cut nearly all of his friends to make room for family. And we still only get to invite maybe three friends each. It sucks. We had to take a small room at our venue because the medium sized room was taken.

Anon I. Mouse

We are paying for our own wedding, so we avoided this hassle. We knew immediately who we wanted to invite (we are having under 20 people including us - that includes some family and not other family, some friends and not other friends). Anyone we have not invited we have been quite honest with about wanting to keep it small and limiting it to our nearest and dearest.In your situation however, I suppose I would suggest you talk to those paying (aka mom and dad) about who THEY really want there too, and share your concerns about some guests. Or, take on the costs yourself. And no, you do not have to invite who your sister invites. Different weddings and different couples....I would never get into that whole "well, they invited me so I need to invite them and so on stuff" to be honest.I also don't care if some people are offended by my exclusion of them - I am not responsible for how they react to it! I suggest you also learn to balance compassion, with some acknowledgement others are responsible for their own "stuff".