Dilemma

k_binau

My wedding is a private outdoor wedding and all of my siblings and my fiance's siblings are in the wedding party. My brother's girlfriend has been with him for almost 2 and 1/2 years, but I didn't know her well enough to be a bridesmaid. Is there anything I can have her do for my wedding so she doesn't feel left out? My fiance already asked one of his groomsmen's girlfriends to be the guestbook/program attendant and that was the only thing I could come up with. What other options do I have? Help!

chrisnjay2010

are you going to do any type of readings or poems?  She could do that?

Leah&Christian09

If you don't want to include her as a bridesmaid, you could have her do a reading.  If she is musically inclined, she could sing or play a song during the ceremony.  Otherwise, just have her be a guest.  Being a guest is an honor. Jobs like guest book attendant or program holder just make people feel awkward.

jeannigirl

Doing jobs like guest book and all those other meanlingless things are not an honor. It is much an honor to be asked to be a guest. Do you know if she is musically inclined or she could do a reading.

goheels05

Unless she really wants to do something, just let her attend as a guest.  The best thing you can do to not let her feel left out is put her in situations where she's without your brother--for example, don't have a head table that excludes dates, let her tag along while you do bridal party photos, etc.Trust me, I've been there.  Mr. Heels is in tons of weddings.  He was in his cousin's wedding last summer, and I was fine.  While he was with the other groomsmen getting ready, I got out my camera took tons of detail shots so that the B&G had pics while they waited for their photog to finish editing, I hung out with the other guests, made friends, etc.  Never did I feel any hard feelings about not being in the wedding.  They barely know me and it would have just been silly to include me.

trix1223

My younger DD was MOH for older DD in July.  She (younger DD) has a wonderful boyfriend that we all like alot.   Having said that, he wasn't in the WP for the same reason your brother's gf isn't.He was fine with it.  I asked him to sit in the front row with me and my dad as DD and DH walked down the aisle.It was plenty.  He was just as happy to be a guest.  Anything else would have been lame and seemed like a "pity" job.

ks3pink

I just wanted to say that I think guestbook attendant is an honor. Also being a guest at a small wedding is an honor. A friend of mine got married a month ago and when we got there and looked around there were only about 50 people there. This made me feel extremly honored. 10/10/10 Bride!!

stina93446

Ask her to do a reading or just get her a corsage.Guest book attendant is a suckazz job.

trix1223

IMO guestbook attendant is a pity position.  "I didn't want you in the WP, but I want you to feel included so stand by this book and tell people to sign their names."  About as much of an "honor" as when I was asked to be the cake cutter for my niece's wedding.  I did it because I love her and I love my sister.  Did I feel honored?  Not a bit!

AdeleDazeem

My fiance's older brother got married in June.  I was not included in the wedding at all and - quite frankly - I was happy to be simply a guest.If you are concerned about her being "left out" of wedding things, invite her along to some bridesmaid activities.  For example, the night before the wedding, all the bridesmaids got together to hang out and have a few glasses of wine.  I was invited along - as were the other OOT girlfriends/fiances.I would also make sure she is friendly with other guests at the wedding so she has people to chat with while the wedding party is off getting ready and taking pictures.Obviously do what you feel is right, but if you can't come with up anything you like, then don't stress over this!

squirrly

My FBIL got married in August, and I didn't have a job or a part in the wedding.  FSIL invited me to the bridal prep suite to hang out with the girls before the wedding & I did that, although it was a bit awkward since I didn't really know anybody (FI and I live 1000 miles away from his family right now).  I sat in the second row at the ceremony, and just generally tried to be helpful if they needed anything.  At our wedding in May, FSIL will just be a guest, and will be seated at the ceremony with FI's parents.  FBIL will be a groomsman.  She'll be invited to come with us while we get ready, etc., but she won't have a job or title.Special duties aren't necessary, and often really aren't wanted.  If you're not close enough for her to be in the WP, I think it's best to just have her be a guest.