Court House Ceremony/ Then another In the Bahamas

pixiemb

I so need help. I am planning on doing a small ceremony with immediate family only in the local Court House. We are pulling a "sex in the city" stunt. We got so stressed out with the demands of our families that we just decided to do it this way. The only catch is I have beautiful expensive gown and am not wearing it to the court house. My mom is very upset about this. She paid for it of course. We decided we would do another ceremony on our honey moon in the Bahamas and would hire a photographer.We do not need a marriage license for the ceremony in the bahamas obviously because we will already be married. What are your thoughts on this. I so need feedback. I would assume they wouldn't mind performing a ceremony without a license knowing we were already married right!? It should be easy. Any thoughts on this. Not sure why I am stressing.

pixiemb

P.S. For those of you who are wondering "sex in the city" is a movie. They plan the whole wedding around the dress. The groom freaks out and runs off. etc etc. If you've seen the show or the movie you know what I mean.

squirrly

Why not just wear the dress to the court house?  Then your mom could actually see you in it, not just photos of you in it. 

trix1223

I think once you get married in the courthouse, you're married, and having a pretend theatrical production so you can wear your dress is just silly.It's YOUR choice to have your sex in the city stunt, as you describe your wedding.  So as an adult, you live with the consequences of your "stunt", and those consequences include living with your mom's disappointment.

Mrs.B6302007

ditto trix

aerinpegadrak

There's nothing stopping you from wearing your gown to the courthouse.  I've seen pictures from courthouse weddings, and brides wear anything from simple suits to full-out ballgowns.  If you want to get married in the dress, you need to wear the dress to the wedding.  A second ceremony on your honeymoon would be completely meaningless; you couldn't even call it a vow renewal because hardly any time has passed since the original vows.If the money is the issue and you don't particularly care about wearing the dress, just pay your mom back for it.  You can try to resell it and recoup your cost.

kmmssg

As a professional MOB, I want you to think about this:If your mom is anything like I am, she has been thinking about buying your gown since you were born.  You went with her and you chose it based on the pretext of your original wedding plans - and you would be wearing it to your wedding.If one of my DD's told me she was going to not wear it to her wedding, but recreate a fake wedding on her honeymoon I'd tell her not to bother because I wouldn't be too interested in seeing the pics.  I would tell her I bought her the dress to watch her be take her vows - not to set up fake scenes.I know that sounds harsh but I'm sorry - I'd be devastated if my DD had the same idea.  I really think you are underestimating how much buying your wedding gown means to her - and if you don't wear it to your wedding, then it really isn't your wedding gown, is it?

Leah&Christian09

Just wear the gown when you get married.Having a fake ceremony is silly, and doing it just to wear a gown on your honeymoon is even more silly.  You could do a trash the dress style photo shoot where you get tons of pics of you in the gown.  That might appease your mom.  And if there are people who have never heard of sex in the city, they must be living under a rock.

trix1223

Ditto my buddy kmm.  I have been MOB and MOG.  I would be devastated if I weren't invited to my childrens' weddings.And if I bought a dress and then was told I could see a picture of it at the fake ceremony, that would just add insult to injury.I didn't get to be at my child's wedding, AND I was offered the chance to see pictures of a pretend ceremony later?  Nope.  Wouldn't appease me at all.  I think it would p!ss me off even more.

LesPaul

This is a bad idea.  Just wear it to the courthouse - to your WEDDING.  The fake Bahamas ceremony would be unnecessary and uncomfortable.  Do a TTD photo session if you really want all the pics of you wearing the dress.

glam70s

I'll be honest, this idea came up when FI and I were making the first decisions. We wanted to get married in Scotland, but my family would not be able to afford to attend, and we could not afford to pay for their flights. So FI suggested having a very small courthouse wedding here so that our parents could be there, and then go and have a traditional Scottish ceremony (I'm a Scot) in Scotland. This would also be much simpler legally, as we wouldn't have to obtain a Scottish marriage license. He didn't think it out very well before suggesting it and the more we thought about it, we both shut it down quickly. Although I'd love to get married in Scotland - with this plan, I wouldn't be. The second ceremony would have absolutely no meaning and I would feel ridiculous walking down an aisle toward my husband - I'm not sure I could keep from laughing as I walked, the whole ceremony would be a joke.I had a friend who tried to do this in reverse. They wanted to get married privately, so they had a DW, and then came back and had another ceremony, so that friends and family wouldn't feel left out. Let me tell you, it didn't help keep anyone from feeling left out since everyone knew the second ceremony was nothing more than a show.Either wear your dress to the courthouse, or do a photo shoot in it later...

trix1223

glam-your post reminded me of my wedding photo album.  Because the church we were married in didn't allow flash photography during the ceremony, the photographer decided to recreate some of the ceremony moments after the wedding.In the one where we're supposed to be kneeling to receive the minister's blessing, we're both smirking as we tried not to laugh at how foolish we felt....A re-recreation, whether of the whole ceremony or just a part of it is just so silly and NOT meaningful.