4yr Old Help!!!

daigler

My FI are having a traditional church wedding and I want to include my 3 year old son in the ceremony. I thought about making him the ring bearer, but I wanted him to have a specific role that is all his own in the ceremony. It is really important to us that he feels included in the ceremony. Any ideas?

Simply Fated

Being the ring bearer isn't inclusive enough? Maybe he can hand you guys the real rings?

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_4yr-old-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:f7e0493c-6650-4034-b6b3-d92e6f3e139ePost:eb43051d-7c01-43b3-9a67-85dd8cedbc00">4yr Old Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI are having a traditional church wedding and I want to include my 3 year old son in the ceremony. I thought about making him the ring bearer, but I wanted him to have a specific role that is all his own in the ceremony.<strong> It is really important to us that he feels included in the ceremony.</strong> Any ideas?
Posted by daigler[/QUOTE]

I do not at all mean to be rude when I say this, but I really don't think your son will care or know if he is being included or not. He is three, KWIM? He probably won't fully grasp what's going on or what his duty is if he has one. So i think being a ring bearer is fine. For me, it's different if he was 10 or a teenager and could do a reading and truly understand the meaning of what's happening, but he can't. I don't think he will be heartbroken that he wasn't more included.

misssunshine17

I agree with PP. I think getting dressed ad standing up with you will be plenty. The only other thing I could add, was maybe have him join in your first kiss/ like family hug? That's all I got. 

kaos16

I'm thinking back to when I was a psych majo on college. . . . my recollection is that humans don't really remember anything before the age of 4 or so.  As such, this inclusion in the ceremony would be more for you and your fiance, so you should give him a role that would be special to you.

kjwest5024

I know exactly how you feel. I just posted on to another person, we are including my son in the sand ceremony. We are gonna have someone help him pour some of the sand. It makes me feel better to know he has a role in the wedding. A friend of mine did this with her four year old and he loved it.


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_4yr-old-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:f7e0493c-6650-4034-b6b3-d92e6f3e139ePost:eb43051d-7c01-43b3-9a67-85dd8cedbc00">4yr Old Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI are having a traditional church wedding and I want to include my 3 year old son in the ceremony. I thought about making him the ring bearer, but I wanted him to have a specific role that is all his own in the ceremony. It is really important to us that he feels included in the ceremony. Any ideas?
Posted by daigler[/QUOTE]

claire_9

When my sister got married a few years ago, her husband had her daughter (from a previous marriage, whose father is no longer in her life) come stand by my sister and read both of them his vows. It was really sweet, no one knew it was coming and when the time came, he asked my niece to come stand by my sister and at the end there wasn't a dry face in the crowd. This was when my niece was 10. She has always considered him her father and calls him that.I know that is not really a specific role, but it was really sweet and touching. Maybe he could be with you durring that??

montanabounding

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_4yr-old-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:f7e0493c-6650-4034-b6b3-d92e6f3e139ePost:d7e011f3-c503-4f97-9da1-ee3f99d385b7">Re: 4yr Old Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]When my sister got married a few years ago, her husband had her daughter (from a previous marriage, whose father is no longer in her life) come stand by my sister and read both of them his vows. It was really sweet, no one knew it was coming and when the time came, he asked my niece to come stand by my sister and at the end there wasn't a dry face in the crowd. This was when my niece was 10. She has always considered him her father and calls him that.I know that is not really a specific role, but it was really sweet and touching. Maybe he could be with you durring that??
Posted by claire_9[/QUOTE]

Is the child the son of the OP and her FI, or just the OP's son? You can incorporate him as part of the family, or you could do something minor. If it's just the OP's son, you could do something - again, kind of minor - that signifies your FI becoming part of the family that used to be just OP and her son.

FI and I will have a 6-year-old together. Not sure how we'll incorporate him if we will at all (civil ceremony). I might leave that up to FI and have it be more of a "boys thing."

sherrycox

My boys who are 17 are my FI's groomsmen and his daughter 16 one of my bridesmaids.  My daughter along with my two nieces are my flower girls, as I don;t think she would go down the ailse alone.  No at this age the kids won't have a memory of what they are doing, however it will have an importance to them when they are older.  I was my aunts flower girl when I was 5 or 6, I have no memory of it, however I still have my dress from that day and it has a special place in my heart for my role.