NWR: Possible Relocation Stress

bethr5

My FI and I both live in Kansas City right now, and our wedding is August 14.  He just found out a few days ago that he will have a good job opportunity in the Charlotte, NC area.  We wouldn't have to move until after the wedding, so that part's good.  However, I'm originally from KC - I've been here my entire life, and my whole family is here.  Part of me would really like to try somewhere new, and part of me's seriously alarmed by the thought.  Add this to planning the wedding and I'm stressing out.

Have any of you made big relocations in the past?  Do you have any advice?  Also, if anyone has any opinions or info about the Charlotte area or NC in general, I'd be happy to hear it (I've never even been there, so thinking about moving there is weird!)

Thanks ladies!

bbyckes

I feel your pain.  I relocated to Atlanta from Los Angeles about 1.5 years ago.  I moved with FI and my son.  We knew no one.  It's needless to point out how different west coast culture is from the south -- it was a HUGE adjustment.  I don't know how old you are, but get involved in activities or school.  Work is always a good way to meet new people too.

I won't tell you it was easy - oh my god, some days I wanted to get in my car and drive back.  But, I stuck it out and now everything is good.  We have a house, we have a good life and my mom moved here with me (just this week actually).

Don't be scared.  It's possible this could be the best thing you've ever done.  It will be hard at first, but you and your relationship can survive it.  Your family is just a plane ride away.  Good luck!

lisarose7

I moved from NJ to CO about 4 years ago after being with my FI almost 4 years.  What's worse, he had to move to WV to live with his family while I was in CO living with my parents (they moved out here a few years before I did).  Aside from my parents I knew NO ONE out here until I found a job and started working.  What's worse is people out west think everyone from the East Coast is a snob, so a lot of people weren't interested in getting to know me once they found out I was from the east coast.  Within a few months, though, I made some friends and things were easier.  Then after 16 months my FI moved out here to join me.  We're both enjoying what CO has to offer, even though we plan to move back east in a few years.  You'll do great, and from what I understand, people in NC are very nice.

skippylouwho

My grandfather's theory was that every young couple should move 500 miles away from home as soon as they are married because you learn to depend on each other instead of family & friends.  You become more cohesive and really a couple.   I think that idea actually has some merit.

kd.joseph

I just moved a year ago after living in the same town for 42 years, with my mother right next door and my teenage son with me. Now my son is old enough to be on his own. I'm only 3 hours away, but still don't get back as much as I'd like.
I'll tell you it was hard at first, I cried for a week and had to get a new cell phone (I ruined it crying). But I found a job right away, and I've really gotten used to this being home.
With the internet,cell phones,skype. You can still keep in touch. Think of  this may just be an adventure for you and your FI.
When my FI's daughter got married they went to live in Ireland for 10 months for his business. They enjoyed every minute.
Good Luck!

FutureMrsBoucher

my parents live in charlotte, and it's a nice place, though people there need to learn to drive... haha! 

but being a military brat, i'm used to moving every couple years. it's always tough to leave people/places behind, but remember that you can always visit! and this is a time for you and FH to really learn to depend on each other rather than friends/family. get involved in the community somehow (clubs, school, church, work, etc.,...). I have found that the easiest way to make friends is to be friendly! 

how long between the wedding and the move? if you can, separate the two and concentrate on the wedding right now, and deal with the move afterward. no need to stress yourself out any more. 

you're in my prayers!