Invites for after the wedding

DesireeDeVillers

We are having a small wedding and reception for our closest family and friends. We have many other friends  that we would like to invite to our wedding dance/reception. Is it rude to invite them to the dance itself or do I need to invite them to the entire days festivities?

MyNameIsNot

Yes, it is rude to invite people to only a portion of the wedding. 

People understand if you can't invite everyone. 

trix1223

People will tell you that if you're having a VERY small wedding(less than 15 people) then you can do the ceremony, and invite more to the reception. 

But you can't invite some to dinner and then others just for the dancing.  That would be really rude.

I personally would decline an invitation to the dance only.  I think the ceremony part is the most important part of the day, and IMO, if I'm not important enough to see you get married, I'd feel like it was gift grabby to invite me to the dance only.

tidetravel

If you can't afford to feed them, then don't invite them.  Tiered receptions are rude.

aerinpegadrak

I don't know if I'd be offended, personally, but I certainly wouldn't bother to attend.  I really only go to a wedding for the ceremony and dinner, so to be invited for only my least favorite portion isn't remotely appealing.  Chances are if the couple doesn't think I'm important enough to rate an invitation to the entire event, I'm not close enough to them to mind.  You really don't have to invite everyone you've ever met, it's okay.

And aelpert, no one is really going to stop someone from doing what they want for their wedding (people may try to talk you out of it, but it's not like someone's going to arrest you), but likewise no one is going to stop their friends and family from thinking less of the bride if she's inconsiderate and callous.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_invites-after-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:17c68f2b-9bce-49c9-aac5-0def4e80b5a0Post:6541fa8b-1315-4ec5-a530-8048b9e75ff0">Re: Invites for after the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I've actually seen this done alot lately with friends of mine (young-mid 20s).  They've done it through a facebook group just saying letting them know all the information (it seems cheesy, but its a quick way of knowing who can come and who can't) I've been invited to probably seven or eight this way, normally high school friends, or childhood friends that you aren't as close with, but still would like to share the celebration with. (Most people my age think free alcohol, friends, and celebrating!?! Heck Yeah!)  Couple things, they make it known that no one should bring gifts for the dance, and if you do it with invitations BE SPECIFIC! <strong>My fiance showed up at a ceremony/dinner reception</strong> because the invitation wasn't specific enough, and I guess several other people did it too. I don't think it's rude, we'll probably do it as well with childhood/high school friends.  They understand that receptions only allow a certain amount of people for a sit down dinner vs. standing up cocktail hours.  But do whatever you want! Its your wedding! :)
Posted by aelpert18[/QUOTE]

This is exactly why this is so rude.  You are telling a portion of people that they aren't good enough to come to the good part of the reception. 

No one wants to be treated like a second class citizen.

duckie1905

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_invites-after-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:17c68f2b-9bce-49c9-aac5-0def4e80b5a0Post:6541fa8b-1315-4ec5-a530-8048b9e75ff0">Re: Invites for after the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I've actually seen this done alot lately with friends of mine (young-mid 20s).  They've done it through a facebook group just saying letting them know all the information (it seems cheesy, but its a quick way of knowing who can come and who can't) I've been invited to probably seven or eight this way, normally high school friends, or childhood friends that you aren't as close with, but still would like to share the celebration with. (Most people my age think free alcohol, friends, and celebrating!?! Heck Yeah!)  Couple things, they make it known that no one should bring gifts for the dance, and if you do it with invitations BE SPECIFIC! My fiance showed up at a ceremony/dinner reception because the invitation wasn't specific enough, and I guess several other people did it too. I don't think it's rude, we'll probably do it as well with childhood/high school friends.  They understand that receptions only allow a certain amount of people for a sit down dinner vs. standing up cocktail hours.  But do whatever you want! Its your wedding! :)
Posted by aelpert18[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow.  There are no words.  I can believe you find this sort of thing appropriate.  I don't have any friends that would treat me this way, regardless of how expensive weddings are.</div>

AlexiaANDRobert

It's all or nothing.

Don't invite people to come dance with you if you're not going to feed them or have them watch the ceremony.