Being there without being there?

egeurts

So I was supposed to host my friend's bachelorette party. I offered to host it, invited people, started planning, etc. There isn't a specific plan in the works, but there's a date, a rough idea (downtown bar-hopping?), and a guest list. She knows about it, people who are coming know about it, so it's definitely a go. 

Here's the problem. I have a medical issue that cropped up and now I'm having to move back to my home state (from school, where my friend and all our friends live and where the party is planned) earlier than I thought, thus making me unable to host this party. I don't want to have to cancel because everyone is excited, including the bride. I think I found another friend to take over the party-planning duties, but now I feel like the odd-duck out and totally lame for bailing. 

How can I still be there for my friend (especially since she's pretty shy and I feel like she was counting on me to not go totally crazy with penises and stuff), still do something special for her b-party, even though I can't actually be there on the night of? I'm still going to attend the wedding, but I feel like I'm missing a super fun girl's night out and totally bummed  

ftrmrsweatherdon

Thats tough! 

First - sorry to hear your going through medical issues.

I think you did the right thing by asking a friend to take care of everything in your absence. I would perhaps relay to her the wishes of the bride. (Especially what she absolutely does not want.)

I dont really have any advice on you missing it, but I think as long as the person you've asked to take over knows what the brides wishes are, that it should run smoothly.

Crappy that you have to miss out.

JaxInBlue

I hope your medical issues resolve soon!

Definitely agree with PP about conveying the bride's wishes to the new planner - especially if she does not want certain things.  Maybe you could buy some things now - a "bachelorette" or "bride to be" sash or tiara, or a small gift - to leave for the night out.  If you can, see if you can call before the group heads out and convey your good wishes.  If you know where everyone is going, you might be able to set up with the restaurant or bar to pay for a round of drinks.

A heartfelt card and best wishes would be a great thing to ask the new planner to pass along to the bride-to-be.

LeenieLane

Sorry to hear about your issues I hope that gets better for you.

This might be an off the wall idea, but do you have an iPhone or smartphone? Maybe you can be on FaceTime or Skype for a bit while the girls are out. Obviously they wont carry you around in their hand the whole night, but maybe plan a special trivia game and you're the "host". They can call you on video from their phone and that can bring you in on the festivites in some way?