Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Memorial for Mom during Ceremony

Hi everyone,

I just recently got engaged and its been about two months since I lost my mom to breast cancer. This has been such a bittersweet time for me, because she was my best friend and I cannot imagine getting married without her there. I've really been trying to figure out how I can incorporate multiple memorials and memories of her into my ceremony and would really love some input from anyone that has unforuntately had to go through the same thing. I honestly can't imagine what dress shopping or planning will be without her there but I need to at least know that on my wedding day, I'll have lots of things going on that bring her there in spirit and in memory.

Thanks for any help

Re: Memorial for Mom during Ceremony

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    Both my fionce and myself lost our step-fathers whom we were close to over the last couple of years.

    I bought a memorial candle holder from Davids, that has their names inscripted on it. You can put a pilar or as we are going to do a floating candle in it. Therefore, the candle can burn during the ceremony up by us, and also at the reception.
    My little brother will light the candle at the start of our ceremony.
    And having the holder opposed to a candle, we can use it over and over on our mantle at home.

    It is simple, I want to feel their presence without overwhelming everyone with the sadness of their absence.

    Lastly, I feel for you, and I'm sorry for your mother only lives out of state, and that is hard enough. Just try to remember it is a joyus occasion, and I'm sure she will be watching over you on your special day. Good luck, and congrats!
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    I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 2 years before the wedding so I can empathize. In my bio under "In Memory Of" is a list of different things I did to honor my mother as well as some cautions. *hugs*
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    Congratulations on your engagement!  I am sorry you lost your mother, especially during this transition time in your life.  i think a nice way to remember your mother during the ceremony would be to incorporate somethng of hers into your wardrobe or accessories. 

    For instance, did she have a favoriate pair of earrings you might like to wear in the wedding?  Did she have a handkerchief that could be re-fashioned and wrapped around the bouquet (stems)?  Did she have a favorite clutch you might want to carry?  These kinds of things -- something personal which she liked -- carried close beside you throughout the ceremony and/or reception, would be a wonderful, intimate way to carry your mother with you.
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    I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mom almost one year ago and plan on incorporating her memory in a few different ways:
    - I'm using her dress to make my bouquet out of fabric flowers (I'll enhance it with silk)
    - I'll take a piece of her dress and sew it on the inside of mine over my heart
    - A memory candle will be lit in her honr and my dad will light his portion of the unity candle from hers
    - A red rose (her favorite flower) will be placed in the chair she would have sat at during the ceremony

    Good luck. There have been many times during the planning process that I have just wanted to pick up the phone to tell her something and have had to stop mid-reach.
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    Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my father in 2005 and just lost my mom this past May. I am not sure everything I want to do to make sure they are still apart of my special day, however, I am planning on making a flower arrangement to place where they would have been sitting at the wedding and then also tranfering that to the parents table at my reception. I will also have my children light a candle on the alter in their memory. Hope this helps. God Bless!
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    I am also so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 3 years ago to breast cancer. I'm dealing with the same issues of wondering how dress shopping and planning are going to go without her. I am going to have a white rose in a chair where she would've sat. We're not going to do anything else during the ceremony because I'm not sure I'll be able to make it through without losing it! We'll also have a memorial table with a candle and picture just as everyone enters the reception. That way, we're honoring her but not bringing a damper to the environment.
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    I lost my mom four years ago to breast cancer, and will be married this fall. After my moms passing my relationship with my dad fell apart so i will have neither of them there on my wedding day. I've been dress shopping, I took my maid of honor and my aunt(moms sis) with me. Although I did think of my mom that day alot the happiness  of picking out my dress helped and i just kept concentrating on deciding on a dress my mom would love. That helped keep me calm and I hope will do the same for you.

    I agree you don't want to do too much, because mixing the happiness of a wedding and the sadness of death can be emotional. Other then your dad or siblings, who cares about what anyone else thinks!! She is your mom and anyone would think you wouldn't honor her on this day is simply crazy!!

    We are doing the memorial table at the entrance to the reception hall. A small Round table with 3 or 4 frames with pictures. I am using 1 of me and my mom from the hospital when i was born and the last picture i have of us together, haven't decided what other ones I will use.

    We will also do the personalized candle holder too! i love the idea of being able to keep it afterwards!

    One other thing I am doing, is instead of doing a bouquet toss i am going to take my boss bouquet to the cemetary before we leave for our honeymoon. I wasn't real insterested in doing a bouquet toss anyway and with the plastic handle on the toss bouquet i will be able to stick that right into the ground!!

    Hope this helps, I know what you are going through feel free to message me if you need anything or just somone to listen!!!
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