Vent about my sister! (Pretty long)

OneandOnlyXoX

So my sister is getting married not even a month after me (she's older than me). None of that is important, anyways.

My sister and her FI and on a SUPER tight budget, which I understand completely she always has been on a tight budget (she's had a rough life in the past) but I just have to vent about a couple things because honestly it makes no sense to me.

My sister and I were conversating about our weddings one day and she asked me to photograph the wedding, so I asked her (I was completely joking around) "oh i'm not in the wedding I see how it is just kidding" She said you are in my wedding, you're the maid of honor. Please tell me how am I suppose to photograph a wedding while being maid of honor?

This was asked to her and she said oh you can have jamie take care of the ceremony part. (Jamie is my best friend and in my wedding, and is being invited as a GUEST to my sister's wedding) First off, you don't ask a guess to take your pictures for you.

So then, I had made a post a while back (before I booked my caterer) just saying that caterer's can be so expensive (it was something along those lines) my sister had the nerve to comment saying, well why don't you ask everyone to bring a dish. I'm sorry but i'm not asking 200 guests to bring 200 different dishes to feed my guest, it's rude and tacky.

So one day I was over her new apartment that her and her FI just moved into and I brought up the "potluck wedding" and I said you better not do that at your own wedding it's rude and tacky. She says "look I don't care what anybody thinks, if I'm trying to save money then that's what I'm gonna do" I understand your trying to save money but it's still RUDE AND TACKY. If you can't afford it don't have it!

But, she does plan on having alcohol?! I didn't get into further discussion about that but I'm guessing she thinks she's gonna make it a BYOB wedding as well..

I hope things change within a year (she has been serious about everything i've just typed too, no jokes)

This was a vent! and I'm glad I got that out.!

AshnRobo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_quick-vent-about-my-sister-pretty-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1ca86592-b87d-4917-945c-ef7bf0e8da8bPost:69f693e8-75a2-47e0-8a0f-d7db02006ba8">Quick vent about my sister! (Pretty long)</a>:
[QUOTE]So my sister is getting married not even a month after me (she's older than me). None of that is important, anyways. My sister and her FI and on a SUPER tight budget, which I understand completely she always has been on a tight budget (she's had a rough life in the past) but I just have to vent about a couple things because honestly it makes no sense to me. My sister and I were conversating about our weddings one day and she asked me to photograph the wedding, so I asked her (I was completely joking around) "oh i'm not in the wedding I see how it is just kidding" She said you are in my wedding, you're the maid of honor. Please tell me how am I suppose to photograph a wedding while being maid of honor? This was asked to her and she said oh you can have jamie take care of the ceremony part. (Jamie is my best friend and in my wedding, and is being invited as a GUEST to my sister's wedding) First off, you don't ask a guess to take your pictures for you. So then, I had made a post a while back (before I booked my caterer) just saying that caterer's can be so expensive (it was something along those lines) my sister had the nerve to comment saying, well why don't you ask everyone to bring a dish. I'm sorry but i'm not asking 200 guests to bring 200 different dishes to feed my guest, it's rude and tacky. So one day I was over her new apartment that her and her FI just moved into and I brought up the "potluck wedding" and I said you better not do that at your own wedding it's rude and tacky. She says "look I don't care what anybody thinks, if I'm trying to save money then that's what I'm gonna do" I understand your trying to save money but it's still RUDE AND TACKY. If you can't afford it don't have it! But, she does plan on having alcohol?! I didn't get into further discussion about that but I'm guessing she thinks she's gonna make it a BYOB wedding as well.. I hope things change within a year (she has been serious about everything i've just typed too, no jokes) This was a vent! and I'm glad I got that out.!
Posted by OneandOnlyXoX[/QUOTE]

Live and let live.

brookerich

Where I'm from (Ireland) a "potluck" reception is pretty traditional.  I don't think I would personally go that route though because most people aren't aware of the tradition (or they aren't from Ireland which would make it seem a bit rude). 

It is what it is though and its your sisters wedding.  If she wants to risk looking tacky and rude then let her.  I'd just stay out of it.

As far as the pictures go let her do her own thing for that as well.  If you don't feel comfortable taking the pictures then tell  her that.  Maybe suggest to her that she get some of those disposable camera packs and hand out cameras to several people so they can take some pics

christinamarie325

She might be able to find a student photographer looking to make a little extra cash one day. You wont be able to enjoy the wedding if you're focused on capturing it all for her.

cwaggoner07

I can't say it enough... NEVER ask a guest to be your photographer. When my brother got married last year, they were on a pretty tight budget, so one of her mom's best friends offered to be the photographer. She took plenty of picture before, during, and after the ceremony, but spent the entire reception talking to other guests. But, I mean, what can you do, she is also a guest and knows TONS of people there. So my brother and SIL have no pictures from their reception except what guests took.
Even if you hire a random high school student with a nice enough camera, you are screwing your guest/photographer and yourself when you do this.

NcsuPsych

a 'quick vent' wouldn't be 'pretty long'

Getting stressed out over what your sister plans to do a year from now doesn't matter. Its her wedding, just let her do what she wants. If its something rude, it'll reflect poorly on her, not you.

P.s. Conversating is not a word. Nice try though.

ChristineNB

Perhaps you could suggest your sister have an outdoor wedding with a BBQ. Also, if she did BBQ she could just provide beer or just provide beer and wine (along with nonalcoholic drinks).  Or she could just have a dry wedding, nothing wrong with that. 

kmmssg

Stop discussing her wedding with her.  If she plans something tacky stay out of it.  I'm thinking there might be some jealousy too here.  You are getting married a few weeks earlier and you apparently have budgeted and planned properly for that.  This is a good thing.  She does not need you coming to her and bringing up her wedding so you can tell her what she is doing is tacky - even if it is.  She is surely painfully aware that you are having the wedding she wishes she could pull off.  Let it go and leave it be.

I really encourage you to steer clear of photographing her wedding.  If she hates her pics she will hold that against you for a very long time.  Don't go there.

OneandOnlyXoX

Thanks everyone! Sorry for the typo no one has ever pointed it out to me before and I didn't think about the headline title, my apologies. (at work, we all know how that goes! )

I understand completely about it being her wedding, her wedding is outside. I know for sure my sister wouldn't shut me out, we both are very opinionated people, so we say whatever comes to mind that's why we've always butted heads. So i'm not afraid of keeping my mouth close since she's the same way. I was just trying to help her out and she already made it clear that liquor will be there for sure.

Hmm. I guess i'll just keep my thoughts to myself, I had to somehow let out the annoyance and thought this place would be perfect!!

balletdawn

So, did you just want to vent and not have us comment?

OneandOnlyXoX

Yes, this was more of a vent but I do as well appreciate the comments and tips, it's night to see what other people think about this and to see how I should of handled it correctly.

bmiller1128

Personally I think you're being very hurtful to your sister, you definitely could have worded things differently. If  she wants a potluck then it's up to her, it's her special day and her planning. With financial problems the last thing she needs is her sister/moh cutting down every idea she has. I do disagree with the photography thing though like PP said it probably isn't too hard to find one who's in school looking for some extra cash, you should definitley suggest that to her.

Kristin789

You have said YES to being her MOH and to being her photographer - with the actual ceremony photos to be taken by your friend Jaime.

That's plenty.

The rest of it, from potluck food to whatever, is really HER business.  And if your parents, who are likely on the top line of her invitations as the hosts who are requesting the honour of the guests' presence, will be embarassed by her choices or if they think that SHE will be embarssed by her choices, then your parents need to get involved in this event that THEY are hosting.

Otherwise, you need to get re-focused on your own wedding, which occurs before hers anyway.

OneandOnlyXoX

I told her when she said something about me being photographer that I don't want to be stuck behind the camera since I am her sister. I want to be able to spend the day with her! I'm sorry but you don't ask a guest to take pictures. And how does she know Jamie will show up? Her parents; we have different fathers and our mom and her dad are divorced and my mom can't stad him now, bad past and background aren't hosting this wedding or mine for that matter.