Chit Chat

weekend vs. weekday

FI and I are looking at getting married on 11-12-13, it's cute and quirkey, but it's a Tuesday. Soooo... before we call the venue and pay for it we really wanna weigh the pros and cons of a tuesday wedding vs. a weekend wedding.

We already know that we will save some money on the venue having it on Tuesday.
The venue is about 40 mins North of where we live.

Please, help me out here. Why should we or should we not have it on Tuesday 11-12-13?
Lilypie - (pZmO)

Daisypath - (m6Pg)

Re: weekend vs. weekday

  • My personal reasons would be that I doubt I would travel on a Tuesday night after work unless it was a best friend or relative. So there's a lot of people out. 

    Then if I did go I wouldn't be drinking much and would leave pretty early. 

    If a smaller, shorter wedding is what you want then go for it, but if you want a drinking/dancing night then I'd stick to the weekend. The date won't matter, the experience will. 
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  • How many of your guests are from out of town? Many people would not be able to take the extra time off from work to travel.
  • 40 minutes wouldn't be a long drive for me, so I think it would depend on the length of the reception. I'm sort of a baby and would probably want to be in bed by 11 if I planned to go to work the next day. I also wouldn't want to drink much because I don't function so well hung over. 
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  • I probably wouldn't attend. I'd have to likely leave work ealy and if I. Wanted to stay for the reception and it wasn't very close to home, I might need to take Wednesday off also. That's a bit much to ask your guests just for you to have a quirky wedding date.
  • I wouldn't go to a Tuesday wedding unless you were a close close family member or my best friend. 
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  • FI and I are getting married on a Thursday for various reasons (TBH, a "cute" date is not one of our reasons, and I think it's a silly one), so I'm not completely opposed to a weekday wedding. However, I think Tuesdays are tricky, as most people are just starting their work week. I can only advise you to look at your guest list and check with your VIPs to see if it works before you book anything. In our case, more of our guests are able to attend our Thursday wedding because FI is in the restaurant business and Saturday nights off are hard to come by for most of his chef friends.
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  • I understand the appeal to have a weekday wedding in order to save money, however I don't understand having a weekday wedding simple to have a 'cute date', but that's just me.

    I personally probably wouldn't attend, but it would depend on a couple of things : How many guests are OOT / how far away are they? What time would the wedding / reception be? Would I need to take off work? (If lived more than 1 hr away, I'd have to leave work early and probably leave the reception early to get home in time for work the following day). Also, it's kind of a random thing, but that date, is shortly before Thanksgiving and I know that DH saves his time off so that we can go visit family on holidays, so we probably wouldn't attend because of that too, if we were to have to take off of work.

    The only 'pro' that i can see, would be that it could potentially save you money. However I would look into just how much money you would save.

    Is it more important for you to have a 'cute' date or have more people attend to be with you guys on your wedding day?
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  • I would not attend a Tues. wedding unless you were one of my absolute best friends. It just isn't convenient for us with our work schedules and what not. if the only reason you like that day is because of the "cute" date, i might re-think it. Or at the very least, ask your VIP guests (immediate family, best friends, etc) if they would be able to make that date before you book it.


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  • A LOT of declines.  Very few people will take of work, leave work early or stay out late on a work night unless this is their child, sibling and BFF's wedding.
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  • Unless you're one of my siblings or my very bestest friends in the whole wide world (i.e. somebody who's wedding I wouldn't miss come hell or high water), I'm not going to your Tuesday wedding. Period. And there really aren't too many people out there that feel differently about such things.

    So, if you're only planning on a small affair, just a few close friends and relatives for a low-key reception, it's probably fine. If you want a typical 150+ guest list with people dancing all night long, you're going to be very disappointed.


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  • I drive about 45 minutes each way to work, so I don't think 40 minutes is a long drive, but there is no way I would drive 40 minutes each way to a social function on a Tuesday night.  If you were a very close friend or relative, I would explain that you chose a cute date over people being able to come, and that your priorities are skewed.  If we weren't that close, I would just decline.  

    Unless you're in a situation where you are inviting a small list and everyone on your list has a schedule where weekends don't mean much, you are going to end up with a ton of declines.  
  • RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    Andplusalso: to be perfectly honest, while it's your wedding, and you can do it on whatever date you want, if I received an invitation for a 11-12-13 wedding, I'd know you only picked the date to be "cute", and I would definitely be giving you the side-eye for placing so much value on getting married on a "cute" date that you'd go out of your way to inconvenience your friends and family like that.

    Like I said in my PP, there are people I would do anything for to attend their Tuesday wedding ... that doesn't mean I would actually appreciate having the burden of having to jump through a ton of hoops to do so.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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  • Ditto PP unless you were my sister I would not drive 40 minutes to attend a Tuesday night wedding.
     
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  • We are having a Thursday night wedding. Those closest to us will be there. We know some people cant make it, but we had to do what we could afford. We gave a years notice, so most people are able to make it. I would prefer to do a Saturday wedding, but we just couldnt. OOT guests are looking forward to a long weekend vacation, so it works for us.
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  • You would be inconveniencing an awful LOT of people that are supposed to be your nearest and dearest to  have a cute date.  I, too, would side eye it as soon as I recognized the date, and I would.  I would not attend unless you were my kid or bff.  In both cases I would be letting you know that this might not be the best of ideas.
  • My fiance and I had this conversation. My sister wanted us to get married on a weekday, so we sat down and planned it out for both options weighing the pros and cons. We realized that a weekday wedding just wouldn't work for what we wanted. It meant that my sister wouldn't come, but we couldn't really make a weekday wedding work at all.

    Things you should take into consideration are how many OOT guests you'll have. Its easier for people to come to a wedding if they have less time to take off work.

    This may not be an issue for you, but for us we knew we would have to do an evening wedding because a lot of the people we'd want to be there worked with us and it wouldn't be possible for ALL of them to get off work that day. If we did an evening wedding we felt we would be more obligated to do a full dinner as opposed to lunch-type finger foods and that would cost a lot more.

    I don't think your idea is a dumb or silly one in any way, but keep in mind that once the year changes, its not really cute anymore, so for me it wouldn't really be worth the sacrifices I'd have to make.
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  • Depends on what you are hoping for. If it was local I might go for the ceremony and dinner but due to work I would want to get home by 9. I wouldn't drink or stay for any dancing.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_weekend-vs-weekday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1fd915f5-e15f-4b7a-b82a-0d322d5b877bPost:a8a225dd-c6c7-4f69-8f93-b807b1c5ad40">Re: weekend vs. weekday</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>but keep in mind that once the year changes, its not really cute anymore, so for me it wouldn't really be worth the sacrifices I'd have to make.</strong>
    Posted by LizziebeeUT[/QUOTE]

    Bingo!
    OP, pick a date that MEANS something to you and your FI, not just a date that 'looks cute'.
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  • I would not be inconveniencing myself by going to a Tuesday wedding just because you wanted to get married on a cutesy date. Your invitation would get a massive eye roll and a definite no from me, unless you were my sibling (and if you were my sibling I would give you crap for the date choice).
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  • I wouldn't go unless it was for a close family member and it was w/in a 30 min drive.  I teach and I wouldn't take time off to go to a weekday wedding that required more than 1 day off.  Your wedding would require a minimum of 2 days off for OOT guests.  I would have to leave early and not drink so I could be able to actually teach the next day.  Not really worth it. 

    As PP's have said, check with your VIPs first.  If they nix the idea, then you have your answer.  My ex did the cutesy wedding date 9-10-11 when he got remarried.  Lucky for him it was on a Sat, but it was at a park and on the invites they added for guests to bring their own lawn chairs.  I can't tell you how many comments I got about that from our mutual friends and how rude that was.  And that was over lawn chairs, not something bigger like a weekday wedding.  If you really need to save money and can't afford a Sat wedding, then look more into a Fri or Sun time. 
  • Weekday weddings can be tricky as previous have stated. We are having a weekday wedding, on a Wednesday, because it's saving us $2,000 and that is worth it to us.

    I would weigh the pros and cons and double check the VIP list and see how it looks from their end. If you end up having it on Tuesday just keep in mind that may be the deal breaker for some guests.
  • I've known SO many people that have been married on 'cute'  dates.  7-7-7, 9-10-11, and 11-11-11.  We met on 10-10-08, so 10-10-10 might have been cool, but FI hadn't proposed yet (too soon for us, little did I know he had bought then ring by then though).  We are getting married on a Thursday, which is a little better than a Tuesday, but even my mom sister keep forgetting that it's on a Thursday.  We picked 12-13-12 because it is two years from the date he proposed (and our cruise was booked way before the wedding which leaves Florida 12-15-12).  We are having a super small ceremoney (20 guests), but I was still really worried that people would feel put out by having to come on a Thursday.   NO ONE has complained about it being a Thursday and everyone is taking at least a half day off work, all saying that they are so honored to be included.  It''s your wedding, I hate having to make any wedding plans because of lack of money, but that's one of the reasons our ceremony is so small.  (Reception will be on a Saturday in the spring and it feels like we're inviting everyone in creation to that).

    Do it!   It's your wedding.  I've learned from chosing a week night that people that want to be there will be there!
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