What should I do?

harlequindolly

After getting engaged alot of family members and friends have been asking who I want in my wedding party. I've honestly always had 3 of my friends in mind, now I would also like to include my future sister in law, along with my younger sister. The problem is one of my friends and my future sister in law have alot of boy drama between them. Both girls are like sisters to me, but I don't want to cause drama or upset anyone. I may already upset my Sister in law by asking her not to bring her boyfriend (the guy they fought/are fighting over).

Do I have both in my party, or risk upsetting one of them?

Summer2011Bride

Well the first thing is that your SIL needs to be invited with her boyfriend. They are a social unit and it's rude to not invite him, no matter what the situation is with him. Personally I think they should be able to put personal feelings aside for one night and act like adults. If they can't, that's on them, not you. But yeah. Fighting over him or not, they'll have to get over it for night because boyfriends need to be invited with their girlfriends.

And I would just ask both to be in the WP and if one or the other wants to decline, they can.

Tonya729

I couldnt agree more with summer, its your day not yours, they will decline if they truely arent comfortable with it. Nothing for you to stress over.

AddieCake

Ditto Summer. 

LnL60810

Simply tell them that if they can't leave their drama elsewhere then they will be asked to leave. And if things escalate then you can always call the police. It's your day and if they can't respect you enough to bite their tongue for a few hours then they need to leave.

MrsGandthebeag

Invite your SIL with her boyfriend.  I don't think you need to include her in your WP.

Vivi+Pete

I think I'd need a bit more information before answering. A couple of questions:

1. How old are your younger sister and your FSIL? (If they're still in high school, for example, this "boy drama" may resolve itself -- maybe not in terms of drama between sister and FSIL, but the boy may be a non-issue by the time the wedding rolls around.

2. How far off is your wedding? (I know there's some way to tell on here, but I can't remember what it is.) Far enough in the future that you could just tell everyone that you haven't gotten to that yet and there's still plenty of time left to think about it? If so, that's what I'd do. I'd not ask anyone, including the original three you had in mind, and just let the questions roll off by saying, "Oh, we don't need to think about the wedding party so soon. We're just going to nail down vendors first. We have all kinds of time to think about wedding party later."

harlequindolly

Thanks for all of the advice.

I thought I would answer some questions though:

Both my future sister in law, and my friend are in college and in their twenties. Although they both say they have "moved on" from the fight they both complain to me about the other (over the guy) and they act like there is still a battle. 

My wedding might actually be bumped up to 2014 (or even this year) due to my fiance's grandmother's health.

About inviting the boy in question. While I do understand that inviting him would be polite and include him in the family, in a manner of speaking, but my fiance doesn't want him there at all. This is due to mutual dislike between them, and the majority of the rest of the family not liking him either. My future mother in law has actually suggested not inviting him as well. Her reasoning however was because his family has yet to invite my future sister in law to any family gatherings (including two weddings if memory serves). I find her reasoning to be rather childish though. I still don't want to upset anyone, but excluding this boy from the wedding seems to be set in stone, even without considering the girl drama.

I still haven't picked my wedding party yet, but if anyone is interested how it turns out I will post when I decide.