I had a dream last night where we somehw decided to have our wedding immediately, and I went through with this crappy, exact-opposite-of-what-I-want wedding. I dreamed that, even though I already purchased this $4k dream dress that I want, it got lost and didn't make it to the ceremony location (which was in the lobby of some hotel I think?) so last minute I had to wear this hideous red prom dress. FI did not get dressed up at all, he wore his greasy mechanic clothes. My parents were there but nobody walked me down the aisle. And then it ended with the reception in the parking lot where our friend was frying fish directly on the pavement. And I remember thinking the whole time... why couldn't I just be patient and wait for what I wanted? I regret this already and I want a do-over the right way! .... and then I woke up.
A little backstory: We have pushed our wedding date back substantially to give us time to save for the things that we want to have in our wedding. I keep beating myself up over the fact that I want this really perfect, but really expensive dress and I don't understand why I haven't been able to find anything cheaper that I like. I often get frustrated with the pangs of wanting to be able to have something and not being able to afford it (videography), and ocassionally waffle with the idea of either eloping or having a super-simple wedding. But I keep telling myself to wait for it because it will all be worth it.
So maybe that is my subconscious reinforcing that it was a good decision to postpone the wedding again.