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How do you handle your mom that wants an entirely different wedding then what you are planning?

So I want to havea winter themed wedding. Found out yesterday, the day that I graduated from RN school, that she doesnt like it. And she wants my colors to be black and the bridesmaids in Black, my sister, who is my MOH was going for it to. I am sorry I do like the black but i dont want it. I feel like this journey is something that I am going to fight for and I really dont want to. I have been engaged before broke up three weeks before the wedding, so I could do the whole eloping thing but my FI wont want to,
My Fi and I have this venue set in our mind for the reception, mom and I are ging to go look at a couple reception sites and its not what she wants, so I am dreading going and looking at a couple places. I just dont want it to turn into a fight,and really why i would fight for it is because my FI really really likes it. How do you guys handle your mom if she was like this?
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Re: How do you handle your mom that wants an entirely different wedding then what you are planning?

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    well it is not your moms wedding and it depends on whats going to make you two happy not whats going to make your mom happy. Maybe you should sit down with her and talk to her about it.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited May 2010
    Who's paying for the wedding.  To answer your question: "How do you handle your mom who wants an entirely different wedding than what you are planning?"

    Pay for your own wedding.  Then the whole thing is your call.  If your mom is footing the bill, she gets a say in how her money is spent.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    I agree totally with trix1223. I had that problem with my Mom as well and when he couldn't give me an answer if she was going to help pay for anything, we moved on. We sat down and did our own budget. And then when she would call and ask me about this or that, I would nicely tell her, don't worry, we have it handled, you aren't paying for it. Most of the time money = control, so just be aware of that if that has something to do with what you are going through right now.
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    Say, "Mom, that is not what I want." And then go about planning the wedding you want.  The problem arises if your mom is paying for your wedding, because than she does get a say. 
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    ericksbericksb member
    First Comment
    Every time my mom has brought something up I just tell her that FI and I have already decided on *this*. Try to be a couple steps ahead of her with the planning.
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    ancavazancavaz member
    First Comment
    edited May 2010
    I had a similar issue: I chose black because I wanted my BMs to be able to buy dresses they can wear again and my mom really didn't like it. She is helping us out with some of the wedding cost, and rather than cause more drama I decided to go with another colour for the BM dresses. I guess this was easy for me because I didn't feel strongly about a colour to start with.

    I think if your mom is helping you financially you need to let her have a say, and pick your battles making sure you still get what you want when something is really important to you.

    If you're paying for your own wedding then I think you can just make decisions without consulting anyone except  your fiance.
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    I would argue against using your sister's color scheme no matter who is paying.  Unless I read that wrong.  Other wise, I would wait until you have a venue booked to pick out attire.  What works great for a formal evening wedding looks way over the top for a casual sunday afternoon tea wedding.
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