Any uplifting words/advice? Kind of long

nessbecc

I'm not new to TK but have just lurked around the boards and have made a few comments. I'm getting married this Nov. 10th. I'm a little stressed out and just needing some advice or uplifiting words.

My mom came down with an illness about a 1-2 years ago. It's treatable but not cureable. She has been through all the treatments they have for it but one. The others have not worked, so this is the last one they can do (other than just keep giving her medicines for it), and it can only be done in another state, and she will be coming back and forth for 3 months. We live in Texas.

I'm so worried about my mom and trying to just stay happy and positive that this will work for her. It has been successful for the handful of people that have gotten this treatment. So the chances are good. There is a process to getting this next treatment so it could be a little bit OR she could be accepted in a matter of weeks. Which being said, my mom could possibly be gone over the summer or cutting it close to the wedding. She said she would be there no matter what. Also, my mom and I are planning my wedding together.

With all of this going on, planning our wedding, working full time, moving this summer, have a 5 year old daughter, and just a little overwhelmed. I can't help but break down crying sometimes and trying to explain to my daughter why mommy is sad and crying, why her nana (my mom) is sad. There is only so much she can understand. At times I just can't get excited that we are getting MARRIED with all this going on and I know I should be!

Luckily we have almost all the big stuff done for the wedding such as dress, venue, catering, dj, etc, so thats one or a few stresses not to worry about... it just our DIY things that need to be done. Which I know if my mom won't be home over the summer my FMIL can help and of course my fiance in ever which way he can.

It's just so much and I know other people have been through worse. I just need a some kind words.

Thanks!

Marrin713

When my dad was dx'ed with cancer, I joined a local support group through a nearby hospital.  Check with them or maybe your mom can find out through her treating physicians if there is a group in the area.  I think this would be a good first step for you.

perfect_lee

First of all, congrats for getting all the big stuff done (that's one positive!). I'm actually going through something very similar... My dad has a rare disease and just underwent a transplant surgery to treat it. It's hard to think about flowers and favors when you're going through something so heavy. The worst is that my family is equally stressed about his treatment so I feel like a burden when I bring up *the wedding*. 

All I can say is be thankful for each day with her, your fiance and your precious child. It really is only one day and it should be a celebration of the amazing life you will have together. On the days that you feel completely overwhelmed it helps me to literally take one... thing... at... a... time... I'm talking, putting everything on the back burner and thinking only about one task at a time. Breakfast... Exercise... etc. Life can feel a little more manageable when it's broken down into little pieces.

*HUGS* hang in there!

nessbecc

Thank Y'all so much! Yes I can take a break from some of the planning. I work in a school, so I'll have the summer off to do the smaller things. I'm happy that I got the bigger things out of the way it just the cakes that need to be done. I will have to look into the support group and see if my mom's doctor offers one or knows of one. That's a great idea!

I'll have to start taking it day by day instead of I guess you can say "running" around. If that makes sense?

Perfect_Lee, good luck to you, your family, and your dad. I hope everything went well for him and he gets better! It is very hard to be in that wedding mode. Sometimes I do feel like a burden with everything going on.