Hey yall, would you please donate to my wedding? My FI and I got married last year but we want a really special white wedding and unfortunately he gambled away our savings, so I'd really like it if you guys could pitch it because weddings are all about commitment and luuuuuv. Also, my bridesmaids won't help me at all! They act like they're not excited to help me plan and to help me tie ribbons around 400 boxes of plastic ornaments with our names and wedding date on them. I know if I was a BM I'd be happy! I threw myself a party because they were too mean to do it, and then they complained that I sent them all a bill for their share. They won't reply to my texts but I know they love me and they better come help me. After all, they also have to help bring food to my reception! I mean, it is so expensive yall, even when you're rich like my daddy who has a million katillion dollars but won't give me any because he's a doucheberry who says I should work for a living instead of quitting high school to become a stripper. He owes me that money! Doesn't he see how hard it is? Anyway, I plan to ask him to pay for the venue, but my BMs will make all the food. That's a good compromise, right? My mom agrees with my dad and she won't even wear what I told her to wear. I also asked her to make 600 cupcakes since she won't give me the money to buy them but she said no, it is too much work! As if her own daughter weren't worth the effort. I swear, sometimes I feel like the whole world is just conspiring to keep me and my husband from getting married.
