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I found out about my sister's engagement on facebook....

Ok, so this is an etiquette / family questions....

My younger (and only) sister and her longterm longdistance boyfriend broke up in spring, and I helped her pick up the pieces.  Everyone seemed to think that this was for the best.

Then, about 2 weeks later, they got engaged while out of the country!  And I found out about this on facebook.  I then found out that he had called all of his siblings to let them know, but I was not informed and neither was anyone in my family, except for my mother.  (My father was also out of the country at the time and she didn't tell him either.)

Both my sister and my mother failed to see that she had committed a major faux pas. I also had to field loads of calls from family members who also found out via facebook, and my own father who didn't know what was going on.

They picked the date without asking if I was available and I have not been informed of any plans.  I am not asking to control this situation, but as her only sibling, it would be nice (and I think normal?) to be kept in the loop. 

I am not in the wedding party, although I believe his siblings are, but I have been asked to do a reading. 

I should add that they have purposely chosen February (in a snowy area of the country) as they want to cut down the guest list.  And, they're not paying for a dinner for guests, despite the fact that they can afford it.  To top things off, my mother and sister have been going around saying that "weddings are all about the gifts" and that's all they care about.

I don't even want to attend this wedding with the childish way they're acting.  My boyfriend thinks we should just book a trip away, but I don't want to stoop to their level.

How do I cope with this?  I should add that my sister isn't 20...she's 30.

Thanks!

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