Chit Chat

Postpone? Advice, please!

Has anyone thought about or actually followed through with postponing your wedding? My fiance and I ran into some financial issues (one of which being that his mother is no longer paying for about $2000 worth of expenses) and we aren't sure that we will have it together in time. The wedding is 2 months away. I know it might be silly to worry about what people think but I do. I don't want people to think we are having problems with each other. It just feels like that would ruin the day. I have NOT sent the formal invites out yet-just the save the dates. If we decide to postpone, what is appropriate to communicate this? I was thinking about sending a post card similar to the STD that says, "Due to financial set backs the date has been reschedule. Please save ____ as the new date. Formal invitation to follow"
The only other option would be to cut down the guest list which I can't see a polite way to handle that either. I've heard of people sending STD and then not sending some of those people an actual invitation later. I find that rude and confusing though. If you or anyone you know has experience with this, please share! Thank you so much!
EDIT: I posted this on the Etiquette Board also. I wasn't sure where to put it. Thanks again.

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Re: Postpone? Advice, please!

  • Your first option is right.  Send out a note saying the wedding will be postponed, you can't uninvite people.   I wouldn't say due to financial reasons, but thats 100% personal choice. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_postpone-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:4103b96b-54eb-4686-b251-d7a18961e8f0Post:ee48dceb-2ea3-45a3-92ec-3f85341e1ab1">Re: Postpone? Advice, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your first option is right.  Send out a note saying the wedding will be postponed, you can't uninvite people.   I wouldn't say due to financial reasons, but thats 100% personal choice. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

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  • How much money will you lose from the deposits? If the amount you will forfeit is close to 2K, then postponing it won't really help you. If you can get all of your money back though, then I think it is fine to postpone. It's always better to be financially responsible rather than start off your new marriage in debt, IMO. And I think sending a note, like PP said, would work.
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  • We postponed our wedding due to fiance's father being in coma.
    Met with all the vendors 1st, chose a different date (a year away to be exact) and since we hadn't sent out invitations yet, I sent an email to those closest explaining there would be a date change and my parents phoned relatives.
  • If you haven't sent out formal invites, I would just make a postcard through Vistaprint saying that the wedding has been postponed.  You do not need to mention the reason as to why.  If you have a follow-up date, put it on there.  
  • I absolutely hate the idea of putting wedding expenses on a credit card, but I'm afraid that Kira's point about lost deposits is probably true.  About half of our wedding budget was spent on deposits.

    If it's only 2K that you're lacking, I would still go through with the wedding.  However, I would cut down on some of the fluff.  Can you downgrade your catering package?  Switch your cake from fondant to buttercream?  End the reception an hour earlier?  Serve beer and wine only, no champagne toast?

    Hope that helps, and I'm sorry for your financial troubles.  
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  • If you can't make it work with your current date, then just send a card saying the wedding has been postponed to a later date.  You don't need to say why. 
  • I agree with PP, check what you'd lose first, and do it soon because you really should've sent invites out already if your wedding is only 2 months away. If you really can't afford to comp the $2000 or find a way to trim it from costs, send another postcard with the new date.

    A postcard with a new date will imply you're not having issues with each other, but the event itself, whether it be finances or change of vendor or guest availability or what have you. Its when a couple postpones a wedding indefinitely that the implication is issues with each other.

    You could even make it cute, like take a cute pic of the two of you shrugging and say something like "Oops, we had to change the date!" or something. I dont know, that might be stupid but you can play with it and put a spin on it so its not concerning to your guests.


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  • Yeah if I postponed I'd lose a lot more than 2k on deposits. I agree with the postings here. Check what you'd lose, if it's worth it then postpone but I wouldn't mention due to financial reasons.
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  • Well I am happy to report that my father called me last night. He must have sensed my worries about the budget because he informed that he was willing to pay for anything I needed extra help with. We are so blessed! Thank you for all of the great advice. I am still considering scaling a few things back a bit so that my father doesn't end up paying a ton of money. I'm relieved that we no longer have to consider changing the date. I was really sad about it and now I can relax!
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  • I completely agree with sending a note out. I'm sure everyone will understand :)  It'll give you more time to stablize everything and even plan out a few more things and fix any glitches you may have! :) Hope I helped atleast a little.
  • Yah! That is so sweet of your father! Now you can just be excited for your up coming wedding and not worry about the financial aspect as much! Congrats! I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful!
  • Personally I feel postposing your wedding for 2000 dollars is not worth it because you will probably lose all your deposits on everything...not just the hall but video, photo, dj, limo and so forth.....just go to the bank and get a loan...or put it on your credit card...

    oh congrats that your father is covering the cost...gluck with everything, hope all goes well as planned!
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