How to honor those who are no longer here.

eelsbury08

My FI parents are no longer with us and I have several family members that are no longer here either. I would like to honor all of them because if they were living we would be inviting them to the wedding. What are ways that others have honored their family members that have passed away at their wedding?

MoonlightSilver

I bought charms to represent the grandparents I had lost, and tied them to my bouquet. You could have your FI wear something to represent his parents, like special cuff links or a tie clasp. 

arendiva

I was thinking of putting a yellow rose and a reserved seat card that read "In memory of Grandpa Smith" on an empty chair in the honor seating section. (I plan on giving living grandparents yellow rose corsages and bouteneres so this way I would be honoring him similarly to how I'm honoring my other grandparents)

eelsbury08

Thank you for the ideas. I was thinking of wearing my great grandmother's ring for my something old and to remember her by. I just want to be able to incorporate all of them since they where all so special in our lives.

arendiva

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-honor-those-who-are-no-longer-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:429f67ff-e471-4bd6-975b-71bd324ea879Post:08cee081-1af3-4f54-b0ec-878bbc97f03c">Re:How to honor those who are no longer here.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:How to honor those who are no longer here.: I have to be honest, I think reserving seating for the dead crosses the line from memorial to just plain creepy. It also has the potential to be devastating to other family members.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


hmm. I hadn't thought of it that way. any suggestions on where i could put the roses that would be less creepy?

CFM102012

We're going to have a bud vase on the altar with two white roses.  There will be a little thing in the program that the roses are in loving memory of family no longer with us.

samantha24p

I'm having a moment of silence for those who have passed. My bouquet will have roses and orchids which were my Dad and Grannys favorite flowers. My aunt asked me not to do more than that because she's not over Grannys death.

mhogberg

I made boutonnieres and corsages for all the loved ones that have passed, we placed them by the vases of flowers where we stood next too during the ceremony.  His passed loved ones were on his side mine on mine.  My family and his were really touched by this.

catloverd

The only person I am honoring is my grandmother since she was important in my life. My fiance' didn't know his grandmothers and said he didn't think it was necessary. 

For my grandmother we are having a vase with a red rose in it to represent her at the ceremony. My grandmother's favorite flower is the rose. (my cousin did the same thing at her wedding). I also bought an engraved candle set, which will be lit up at the reception. 

I also put a "In Loving Memory" section on our programs with a short poem afterwards to honor those who couldn't be a tthe wedding physically but in spirit. 

mcven528

I am doing a Memorial Candle for all the Grandparents that we have lost

MoonlightSilver

Also- No one will forget that you have loved ones that passed away. Numerous family members told me at the end of the night that my grandparents (who had passed away the year before) would have loved my wedding. I had nothing at the wedding "in memory of" my grandparents except the charms on my bouquet. 

Ali092011

We are having a lit candle in a hurricane vase and a vase of flowers next to it on a corner table at the reception. We lost my stepmother this past February, and I miss her terribly. I am NOT putting a sign explaining the candle, a picture of her, or anything overt. I'm guessing most people will think the candle is merely decorative, and if anyone asks, FI or I will simply say it's for those who couldn't be with us. The last thing I want is to upset my dad, my sister, or my stepfather. I think memorial type stuff is best when kept extremely personal and not at all showy.

kadoering

I guess it depends on who you're honoring and how long they've been gone. I went to a wedding a couple years ago where the groom's mother passed a week before the wedding. I don't think you could just ignore it in that situation when it was still so fresh in the family's minds. They had a few words and a picture of her on the back of their program and his stepdad talked a lot about her in his toast, focusing on cheerful things like how proud she was of her son and how happy she was that the bride was coming into the family. It was very emotional, but I think it was appropriate in the situation.

OP, I liked your idea about wearing your great-grandmother's ring. I'm planning on wearing a necklace that belonged to my grandmother. Any more than that could easily ruin the day for my grandfather, who is still taking her passing very hard after two years. 

Things like jewelry or special flowers are fine to do on your own, but if you're planning on doing anything big, you probably want to clear it with anyone who has a substantial emotional investment in it. For example, if you wanted to have a big picture of his parents at the reception, would that upset his siblings, aunts, or uncles? My advice is to stick with something small and subtle.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-honor-those-who-are-no-longer-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:429f67ff-e471-4bd6-975b-71bd324ea879Post:bacd70ae-2ed0-4446-a36b-434de5b6eb03">Re: How to honor those who are no longer here.</a>:
[QUOTE]The only person I am honoring is my grandmother since she was important in my life. My fiance' didn't know his grandmothers and said he didn't think it was necessary.  For my grandmother we are having a vase with a red rose in it to represent her at the ceremony. My grandmother's favorite flower is the rose. (my cousin did the same thing at her wedding). I also bought an engraved candle set, which will be lit up at the reception.  I also put a <strong>"In Loving Memory" section on our programs</strong> with a short poem afterwards to honor those who couldn't be a tthe wedding physically but in spirit. 
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

I like this idea. It's a nice way to honor these people without having it become a memorial service.