My brother wants to be a groomsman

Dana89

I have 3 older brothers. My fiance is not close with any of them. He has four friends that he is very close with, and I have four friends as well. It works perfectly. However, the other evening we brought up the wedding in front of one of my brothers, and he became upset that he was not a groomsman. He assumed that he was, and when I informed him he was not problems started. I don't have a problem with my brother being in the wedding, but if one of them is then all three would need to be. As I said, my fiance is close to his four friends and not my brothers. He won't leave his friends out (and I don't think he should have to) and if we add my 3 brothers he would have 7 groomsman. Quite frankly, I don't have that many girl friends! I really only have 1 close friend and one is my fiances sister. The other two are in different ways tied to my family even tho I am not close to them. Just finding four bridesmaids was hard enough. Now I might have to find seven! I'm not sure what to do. Not only is this stressing ME out but my fiance is at a loss. He likes my brothers and wants to keep them happy, but he also doesn't want to leave his friends (who are like brothers to him) out of the wedding. Any advice anyone?

caseylynne21

my brother loved walking down with a BM on each arm, i am sure it won't be a big deal if your ladies had to double up. they are your brothers, and if they want to be in the wedding supporting you, more power to them.

fairy_diva

We're lopsided too
Its ok, they do not have to be even sides.  We have 4 BM & 5 GM, which is fine cause the GM will doubling as ushers to seat the mothers (3) and grandmothers (3)

mapales2

I was in a similar situation with my two older brothers.  What we eventually decided to do was make my brothers ushers.  That way they are still involved in the wedding, but they aren't in the actual bridal party.

Otherwise, I totally agree with PP.  You absolutely don't need to have even numbers of GM and BM.

MairePoppy

I consider ushers to be part of the wedding party. Your brothers could wear whatever the GM are wearing. They could escort the moms and grandmothers down the aisle and/or walk in with the other members of the wedding party. Or you or your fi could just add them in as bridesmen or groomsmen.

kaynix21

Could you find something else for them to do?

Do you have anyone doing a reading? They could be ushers, that counts.

Can you just talk to your brother and explain? Would he be understanding?

AlexiaANDRobert

FWIW, I had 8 bridesmaids and Robert had 4 groomsmen, all of our siblings and siblings-in-law were in the wedding party.  You can check my bio for pictures but I think it looked fine.

Another idea is that they can be ushers or readers.

Kristin789

Groomsmen are the equivalent to a bridesmaid - these should be people who are the very best friends of the person they are standing up for.  FI's closest friends, "like brothers to him," are his groomsmen who will be with him on the day of the wedding, as they get dressed for the wedding, in the back room at the church, helping with the reception, etc.

Your three brothers are not THISclose to your FI.  They are NOT his closest friends, who have been with him through thick and thin.  So they are not really eligible to BE groomsmen.

They ARE, however, YOUR brothers.  So they can walk down the aisle, each escorting a BM, and then sit in the front row.  Or the oldest one can escort MOB to her seat, followed down the aisle by your other two brothers.  Or they can be ushers, seating the guests, etc.

But they really aren't groomsmen, because they aren't veryclose friends of FI.

angela72023

I agree with PP's. My FI has 4 brothers who will be his GM's. My brothers are going to be ushers and they aren't at all hurt or upset about it.
Even though our wedding is equal (4 on both sides), it just happened to work out that way, it was going to be 5 BM's and 3 GM's, but one of my BM's couldn't make it and his one brother who originally thought he couldn't make it will now be able to. And if you do the usher thing, they can wear the same thing the GM's wear, and that IS part of the WP, so don't stress and ask them to usher and enjoy your wedding!

KirstenAlecia

I second the idea of having them be ushers and/or  readers. We have an even 7 on my side and 7 on his. The only one of my  3 brothers is in the wedding party........ the one that is around us as a couple the most, my other 2 brothers are going to be ushers.

Dana89

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and ideas. I discussed it with my fiance, and I think he has decided to have my brothers be groomsmen (or at least the one)  and they will just walk the grandmothers and mothers down the aisle instead of bridesmaids. He's still thinking on it, but you all gave us some great ideas and certainly helped me destress about this! Thank you! 

aerinpegadrak

My brother also wanted to be in the wedding party, but he and DH don't get along so he was on my side.  I find mixed gender wedding parties much less strange than someone standing up for a person they don't really know just because that's who has the same naughty bits.  They're your brothers, they belong on your side.