advise please!

Badgleys12

We are a young couple getting married (19 and 22). We have no clue where to begin and my mother isn't helping me plan! 8-( So a few major questions?? How can we decide on a size or compromise on size I want 75-100 he wants 150-200! Where do we start and how in the world do we pick a date, just flip through the cal?? Please hepl with ANY advise!
-Samantha

Badgleys12

so far I know my dad is taking care of major things such as DJ, photography and food. his dad is a pastor so thats taken care of but ALL of the planning is on me, and I would rather do the destination wedding just to set out of it!    We aren't sure when, we aren't too picky.

musicxstore

I can tell you I was engaged at 19 (I ended up breaking off the engagement a year later, though) and my mom was less than excited/helpful. Now, at nearly 23, guess what? She's still not excited/helpful, even though she absolutely loves my FI and supports our decision to get married. So, maybe it has nothing to do with your age? Maybe weddings aren't really her thing.

Anyway, it's good advice to set a budget - it will determine the size of your wedding. When choosing a date, ask your family members if it's good for them once you decide. I'd start looking at venues, too. I think you'll find that destination weddings don't save you money and all-inclusive is sometimes more expensive. Also, I made a detailed 12 month wedding timeline for myself and I can PM it to you if you're interested?

Good luck.

StephBeanWed61502

Like Covejack said, everything flows from the budget.  Once you know how much you can spend, that'll tell you how many guests you can entertain.  (Example:  If your catering budget is $3K, having 200 guests would be really difficult, because that's only like $1.50 per person to spend on food.)

Another thing is that you may want to look into venues that offer package deals - around here, we have some venues that will offer catering/centerpieces/cake/DJ/photography/limos for a set price.  You'll still need to set up some stuff on your own (ceremony, attire, videography if you want it, etc.) but it'll take care of most of the major stuff for you.  Your local board could probably point you in the right direction on that.

StephBeanWed61502

And also, my mom has almost zero interest in my wedding too - she wanted to know about the food, my dress, and her own dress.  Everything else?  Not interested.  She's really happy about the wedding and loves my FI, she's just not into party-planning.  Don't take it too personally.

cwaggoner07

My dad first offered to pay for certain 'things' like band, food, and alcohol, but that got too confusing so I sat down with him and told him to give me a dollar amount. Once he did that, it was so much easier to budget, and figure out what we were willing to spend ourselves.
And after that he actually became more involved because his money decision was over, and he just got to relax and help plan.
And notice I keep talking about my dad.... my parents are still together, and my mom is so supportive and helpful, but she just doesn't get wedding-brain like my dad does. So it happens.

MyNameIsNot

If your dad is offering to help with some things, sit down with him and ask him what sort of budget he is offering.  The food budget will give you a really good idea of how many people you can afford.  Then sit down with your FI and discuss how much you will need to save for other things and how long that will take, and what time of year you want to get married in.  From there, you should be able to set an approximate date.  Then start shopping venues and caterers.