Reuse previous dress from the last time you were engaged?

Kristin&eric

So I was engaged three years ago, we broke up 3 weeks before the wedding. I found the dress of my dreams even before we got engaged, I was with a friend. About a month after I found it we got engaged, I showed my mom the dress and we got it. Well I never sold it, I love it and when I am looking at wedding dress' now(I am engaged to a different man) I pick dresses that are very similar. Now the only person that knows that I haven't sold it is my mom.
Me and my FI got engaged 2 months ago, our wedding is jan of next year I haven't had time to go dress shopping if i even wanted to. Last night i could sleep. I just want to see my dress and see if I feel if it is still right. Would you wear it? I never wore it, I like similar fress I would hate to sell it and find something similar and then get screwed on losing more money for the first wedding that never happened. 

Also the first time I was engaged it was the wedding of my dreams that we planned, we got scroll invitations from india, chose the colors I love. I want the wedding of my dreams and my FI says to do it, even if it is the same bc the only thing that matters is the right guy is going to be down at the alter. 

I dont know what to do, I want to go to paris and elope and at the same time I want my wedding. I am just so confused and I knew this was going to happen. 

bethsmiles

Do you have bad feelings associated with the dress? Will your FI be upset by it? if not then wear the dress. It sounds like you really want to.

caseylynne21

if your FI isn't upset by this and it is the dress you want i don't see a problem with it

krcousins

Although we put so much emphasis on finding that perfect dress, its really not that important considering what your wearing that dress for- the life long committment to that other person.  If your FI is ok with it and if its the dress you love go for it!  No one needs to know and like I said the main event that day is not the wedding accessories but the committment your making to the perfect person and it sounds like you found him 
Good luck

katieanne85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_reuse-previous-dress-last-time-were-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:4cb855d2-aa10-418d-8acb-574cf9926b26Post:c60eac0d-1070-457c-af5a-90da49ac1cc8">Reuse previous dress from the last time you were engaged?</a>:
[QUOTE]So I was engaged three years ago, we broke up 3 weeks before the wedding. I found the dress of my dreams even before we got engaged, I was with a friend. About a month after I found it we got engaged, I showed my mom the dress and we got it. Well I never sold it, I love it and when I am looking at wedding dress' now(I am engaged to a different man) I pick dresses that are very similar. <strong>Now the only person that knows that I haven't sold it is my mom.</strong> Me and my FI got engaged 2 months ago, our wedding is jan of next year I haven't had time to go dress shopping if i even wanted to. Last night i could sleep. I just want to see my dress and see if I feel if it is still right. Would you wear it? I never wore it, I like similar fress I would hate to sell it and find something similar and then get screwed on losing more money for the first wedding that never happened.  Also the first time I was engaged it was the wedding of my dreams that we planned, we got scroll invitations from india, chose the colors I love. I want the wedding of my dreams and my FI says to do it, even if it is the same bc the only thing that matters is the right guy is going to be down at the alter.  I dont know what to do, I want to go to paris and elope and at the same time I want my wedding. I am just so confused and I knew this was going to happen. 
Posted by Kristin&eric[/QUOTE]

I assume that means you didnt tell your fi you already have a wedding dress meant to be worn for another guy? The dress is only as significant as you make it, but hiding the fact that you have it is weird, and suggests you arent fully comfortable with the idea. Is your Fi on board with the duplicate wedding? A wedding is about the two of you, both people should be expressed,  you dont have to do things differently just because you did them before, but I have trouble believing that the only thing you want to do differently is a new name and date on the invite, and that FI knows this, and has no further desire for input.

[Deleted User]

Personally, I wouldn't. When I picked out my dress I thought about my DH, how he would react, etc. Same with the wedding, all plans were made according to our interests and what meant the most to us. So it would seem wrong to reuse those ideas and the dress.

It makes it more personal to have something only for you and your FI, not something that was supposed to be for some other guy. But, if he's cool with it then I say do whatever you want.

However, I do think you're putting too big an emphasis on your 'dream wedding.' Your dream wedding should be about the dress or decorations or fancy India scrolls. it should be about marrying the love of your life. Everything else is secondary.

caitm730

Personally, I would want a new dress, but I am going both ways on this. I feel like the dress might be associated with the other guy, but if no one knows that it was meant for the other wedding, then go ahead and wear it. I wouldn't mention it to my new fiance if he didn't ask, but I wouldn't lie if it came up.

It really depends on how you feel about it. Will you be thinking about the other guy during your wedding because you planned it with him in mind?

luckyme502

I would not wear a dress I intended to wear to marry a different man.  It would make me feel weird. 

526SadieSadie

[QUOTE]In Response to Reuse previous dress from the last time you were engaged? : I assume that means you didnt tell your fi you already have a wedding dress meant to be worn for another guy? The dress is only as significant as you make it, but <strong>hiding the fact that you have it is weird</strong>, and suggests you arent fully comfortable with the idea. Is your Fi on board with the duplicate wedding? A wedding is about the two of you, both people should be expressed,  you dont have to do things differently just because you did them before, but I have trouble believing that the only thing you want to do differently is a new name and date on the invite, and that FI knows this, and has no further desire for input.
Posted by katieanne85[/QUOTE]

I thought this same thing.  I mean, do our guys need to know every minute detail of our prior relationships? No, I think they prefer not to know everything (ditto, vice versa) But does your FH at least know that you were engaged and were only a couple weeks away from a wedding before?  I really think he ought to...
You know him better than anyone, will he get upset/hurt if he randomly finds out that you've held onto this dress?  Will he accept the answer that it's your dream dress regardless of who you were going to marry?  I think my FH would be a little jealous but would get over it quickly.  If your guy won't, you might want to rethink this. 
Bottom line: don't keep secrets that might come back to bite you in the ass later.

spinner84

I wouldn't, personally. What if he asked about your dress shopping? what would you say? If you think he wouldn't mind ,then I guess it is okay though.

That said, you [i]do[/i] have time to buy a dress. I went dress shopping FOUR WEEKS before the wedding. (I had a 5 week engagement.) I found an amazing dress.

scarybride2011

If your FI is fine with it and you're in love with the dress, then go for it. I would personally feel uncomfortable wearing something associated with a doomed endeavor, but I'm superstitious like that.

Kristin&eric

I never thought of anything of it till my friends ask me about it and said they wouldnt wear it. My FI he doesn't mind, he knew about the previous engagment, he knows alot about it actually, I got drunk the first night i met him and apperantly told him. The thing with that wedding was that My ex wasnt there he was in the military across the country and he couldnt have given a rats ass about anything. My FI wants to be involved, well just a little bit, but he says as long as I am happy he will be happy. Thanks for all your input! i guess this wedding isn't like the other one, we have our own touches...so far.

krmabojo

If you have beed feelings or the dress brings back bad memories, you may consider getting another just for mental reason, lol. I know that if I was in the same situation, I might be afected by that first dress.

melissamc2

I wouldn't, but everyone has different opinions on something like this.  I'd make sure you REALLY talk it over with your fiance, though, before doing it.  Sometimes people THINK they'll be ok with something until it actually happens.

Good luck with whatever dress you end up in!

fairy_diva

My SIL did this.  She was engaged and had the dress then called off the wedding herself for very good reasons.  She loved the dress and when she meet & became engage with my brother, she came to me about the dress she had.  She had stored it, never sold it, and still loved.it.  We had been friends thru her engagement before and she wanted to know what I thought my brother would say. I told her she has never worn the dress for her ex-FI and he had never seen it, so I couldn't see why she couldn't wear it if it didn't bother her to do so. I did suggust she ask my brother what he thought, he told her to wear the dress she loved and not to worry about it.  To this day she does not regret wearing the dress she had bought.  BTW, the first engage and her wedding to my brother was about 5 years apart.

raashton

Your FI is totally right- the details aren't what's important as long as it is the right man you're walking to at the end of the aisle!  If you really want to wear the old dress, then go for it!

Congrats on finding such a wonderful man who understands your heart!

bowlerchick1705

I would get a new dress if it was me. The one i have for my wedding i fell in love with and while i was trying it on, the song that he proposed with was playing in the background so had really good karma going on. So yeah if you feel wierd about the old dress don't wear it go with the new one. I always look at thing's as a fresh beginning and keeping all unlucky things out of the day.

My soon to be mother in law, was going to give me the flutes from her last marriage and get our a names engraved on them. Number 1 the last marriage that she came out of was not with my FI dad it was her other kids dad, and i could see her daughter maybe wanting them. Number 2 just bad karma too use something that came from a ruined marriage. Im just a very unlucky person ,when something good comes into my life and so yeah basically anything that was unlucky somewhere else i wouldn't want and just look at thing's as a fresh start.

megk8oz

Basically, if you and your FI are both okay with it, then why not?

As long as he knows the truth behind where the dress came from, then I don't really don't see anything wrong with it.

thewhitz

I’m in the exact same situation. I’m wearing it! (Fiancé doesn’t care either way.)

LoveBJ

Me too!  Was engaged (thank god i was smart enough to get out of that one)  My mom and I shopped for that dress together.  I bought the dress because I loved it, looked good in it.  Haven't really looked at it in a few years but just got engaged again (I've gotten much smarter this time round and picked a good  no great! one)  We talked about it.  I didn't buy the dress for him but for me and BIG money saver.  To top it off my mom has since passed and I am thankful we had that chance to shop together. 

Things turn out.  If you love it, wear it!