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RESOLVED QUESTION.. THANKS FOR COMMENTING!

Hello,



My wedding is coming up really soon. So I am seriously on crunch time. Recently I asked one of my bridesmaids if it were possible if she could assist our photographer for a bit to point out all of our guest so he can get familiar with who's who.. Instead of just responding "NO"... She stated that "isn't it enough that I'm standing in 4 inch heels?".. I tried my best to remain calm and overreact and just told her that if she just wanted to say NO .. thats all she had to do. Her response was then "Well, not that many people will be in the wedding anyway so I don't understand why he needs any help". Followed by, "did you ask anyone else to do this?....How long would I have to stand? If I do, I'm wearing flats so can I have someone help?"...

At this point, I'm sure any bride would be frustrated. Mind you, I have not asked ANY of my bridesmaids to assist with anything with the wedding planning ..all I asked was for them to get their dresses and THATS IT!.



Am I wrong for wanting to kick her out of my wedding?? Am I overreacting?

All comments and thoughts are appreciated.

Thanks

 

********UPDATED MESSAGE AS OF 8-23-10***********

Thank you all for your responses. After reading my post again and reading your answers, I do realize I was overreacting. Please understand that I was very upset and frustrated as I am sure many brides can understand my pain. I will be sure to talk to my bridesmaid about this topic so theres no hard feelings and apologize to her so we can have a happy wedding and friendship. I will be sure to ask someone else to assist the photographer so everyone is happy!

For the record... the girls LOVE the shoes! .. and she was exaggerating when she said they were four inches..(I think its a tad under that ) lol

To all who felt I was "yelling" "being bratty" etc. Bite me..lol seriously.. Understand that I was having a moment for the situation was still fresh in my mind.Thanks for your response but be nice to the brides on here. When we are going thru it we don't need your negativity. Be truthful at the same time but be respectful :) Don't make matters worse!

and to all who gave great advice ! I appreciate it. Thank you so much. It's nice to know I can come on here and be judged .. I mean.. expect great feedback ::just trying to add a lil humor to this silly post::.. LOL Thanks again everyone!



Much Love!

Re: RESOLVED QUESTION.. THANKS FOR COMMENTING!

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    Did you force her to wear 4" heels and why does she have an issue with that?

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    Ditto vegas about the heels.

    Also, particularly if you're having a large wedding, the photographer doesn't need to know who all your guests are. He/she will learn your families, and whomever else you choose to have photos taken with, and will take candids of others throughout the event. I don't really see the need for your BM to point out all of your guests to the photog..he/she likely won't remember everyone's relationship to you anyway, and will be most focused on taking photos of you and your new H at pivotal moments of the day.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    I answered this on the WP board.  In the future, when you post a question to more than one board, please place XP at the beginning of the title.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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    Why dont you have a parent from each side tell the photographer whos who theyd know better than a friend. Your girls will prob, be in more photos then your parents. I personally wouldnt want to do that either
    RSVP: AUGUST 18,2010 image 256 Are Invited image 191 Are ready to Party!
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    I also answered on the wedding party board.

    She doesn't want to do it.  Ask someone else.
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    Yes, you're very wrong.  That's not her job.  WP are off duty after the ceremony.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    You're wrong for wanting to kick her out of the wedding for that.

    But she sounds like kind of a twat.  Who is this chick, and does she make it a habit of speaking to people regularly with that whiny bratty tone?
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    Why do you need anyone to point out the guests to the photographer?  I get wanting him to know who the family members (which he would learn when you do family pics) are but just the random guests?  Does she even know who they are?  She probably could have been nicer about turning you down but it's not worth kicking her out over. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    I answered on WP board.  She over-reacted to the request   You over-reacted to her answer.  It's a tie.  Game over.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    Kicking her out of the wedidng would be way over reacting. 

    Agreed with all PP's that you don't need to point people out.  He will figure out the parents of the bride and groom during the pictures.  If there are people you or the parents specifically want pics of have the parents tell them. 

    Personally, I wouldn't want to spend my friends wedding walking around with the photographer pointing people out.  That would not be fun to me at all.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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    Thanks mica001. Yours was the best answer!

    LMAO ! @ jennylove810

    And to all who responded again knowing I posted this on another board.. U really didn't have to respond again if you did before. I didn't know there was a "rule" to doing the same post on various post. Now I know to place Xp in front of it! 

     

    Thank you all for your answers. 

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    And NO the girls agreed to wear the shoes! NO ONE WAS FORCED!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-overreacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:5125c816-ce01-479e-adc7-9a75b942954aPost:3eb0438a-c4b5-481e-bd35-b3cf06263b4d">Am I overreacting?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello, My wedding is coming up really soon. So I am seriously on crunch time. Recently I asked one of my bridesmaids if it were possible if she could assist our photographer for a bit to point out all of our guest so he can get familiar with who's who.. Instead of just responding "NO"... She stated that "isn't it enough that I'm standing in 4 inch heels?".. I tried my best to remain calm and overreact and just told her that if she just wanted to say NO .. thats all she had to do. Her response was then "Well, not that many people will be in the wedding anyway so I don't understand why he needs any help". Followed by, "did you ask anyone else to do this?....How long would I have to stand? If I do, I'm wearing flats so can I have someone help?"... At this point, I'm sure any bride would be frustrated. Mind you, I have not asked ANY of my bridesmaids to assist with anything with the wedding planning ..all I asked was for them to get their dresses and THATS IT!. Am I wrong for wanting to kick her out of my wedding?? Am I overreacting? All comments and thoughts are appreciated. Thanks
    Posted by jazmarie718[/QUOTE]

    Yes you are wrong and Yes you are overreacting. Ask someone else, problem solved.
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    THANKS EVERYONE! :)
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    Take a deep breath!  First, you might be over-reacting a little bit but I'm sure it comes from a good place.

    I'm a bride, but also a wedding photographer (and have been for 10 years).  One thing you might do is prepare a list for you photographer with all the main "players" of your wedding - bridal party, family, and any other close friends or specific groups you want photos of (i.e. college friends with groom or bride's volleyball team).

    It's the photographer's job to get these shots, and a list helps them stay organized.  If I need help identifying people, I usually ask who's who in a polite way. 

    It isn't totally necesary to have someone helping the photographer.  Though, if that's important to you, it sounds like another bridesmaid or family member might be more willing to assume the role!  This one seems a little self-absorbe.d
    Anniversary
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    xcrewgal.. thank u so much! 

     

    I think thats what i'm going to do. Yes, I agree that I was overreacting. It just happened a few days ago.. so I was pretty much venting. After reading my post and reading everyone's answers I do realize that I need to breathe and relax. But thanks for the awesome advice and great idea. You see, this was all I was asking for. Shheesshh some other ladies got a lil bit overboard and rude! All I needed was a lil help not to be attacked. Once again, thank you so much! I really do appreciate it!

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    OP I realize that you may have gotten your answer, but its very rude (and bad netiquette) to delete or edit the post or title. Its always very possible that someone else has the same or similar issue, in editing the title now they wont know to read here.
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    I can understand what you are saying but I think I had enough with the negativity from this post and quite frankly I am done with this post as well :) 

    I believe it was rude for people to respond the way they did to my post. For future reference I will not be posting any more future messages and/or post since it appears that people can be attacked if someone doesn't agree or doesn't understand what you are trying to dish out. 

    My post was typed out of frustrations. I acknowledged my wrong doing and that was that! I spoke with my bridesmaid and I'm done! People wanna talk about etiquette but I don't see anyone sayin anything to those who were rude!

     

     

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    Wanted to add, if its a vent, you should add Vent. It gives it a different tone, and you generally get a little more rainbows than blunt-ness.
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    THANK YOU SOOO MUCH MICA001..

    I really appreciate that. Clearly others don't see it that way. But to be quite frank, I really don't care either! I have not only been attacked on this post but on another one as well and by the same people. It's really sad to see older women act like this all for the benefit on their own laughter. It's because of them I am deactivating my account because I refuse to have another one of these moments!

    But thank you again for understanding where I'm coming from. :) XOXXO

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    @ Belle2Be.. I am new on here and I'm becoming familiar with the "rules" of this site. But that's good to know. Thanks!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-overreacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:5125c816-ce01-479e-adc7-9a75b942954aPost:96b1f88e-af80-451b-9bf9-7a89b307c1c6">Re: RESOLVED QUESTION.. THANKS FOR COMMENTING!</a>:
    [QUOTE]@ Belle2Be.. I am new on here and I'm becoming familiar with the "rules" of this site. But that's good to know. Thanks!
    Posted by jazmarie718[/QUOTE]


    Its not just here, its every forum you'll encounter :) Along with CAPS = yelling, which I see you've learned as well :)
    And in general, insulting and calling everyone 40 year old women (as if that in itself is an insult) because they gave you their opinions and you didn't like them, is also bad netiquette and won't make you any friends or give you the "support" you want.
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    Thanks again. Perhaps I was in the wrong for that.. But when you are frustrated things just come out.. Once again... I believe I have been insulted as well and as soon as I said something that targeted someone else.. then it became wrong.. After this experience I'm really not caring too much about support from other brides etc.. This was just a horrible experience overall that turned into something that shouldn't ..

    I would really appreciate it if this topic is dropped already. The question was resolved.. I learned from it ..gained some feedback... took it all in.. and thats that! I really do not want to hear about what is considered "proper etiquette" from others who clearly haven't followed their own advice! It goes both ways! 

     

    Once again ..thanks for your feedback and with all due respect..please leave well enough alone.. thank you!

     

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    Mica.. Bless your heart! XOXOXO

     

    Best of luck to you as well! Laughing

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