Army guy lost in the sauce...

fleab2oo3

First of all to several previous posts, i think its rude that you are just sitting here bashing this guy for wanting to make his wife happy. If he wants to renew his vows on the beach  and have a fun party after, let him without bashing everything about it. I think its sweet that you want to give her a big wedding,  its not like you could be like, "oh hold on, dont deploy me cause i need to have a big fancy wedding first" it doesnt work like that! I have several friends in the military so i understand all of this. I have not been married yet (ours in in march and indoors) so i dont have much advice about a beach wedding, but if you need help and want to hire a wedding planner and you can afford it, it will definately make things run smoother. We have a wedding planner that came with the package we bought with our venue and its really nice. She takes care of everything! I hope you and your wife have an amazing vow renewal and a great time.  I think there are so many "rules" to getting married that are completely unnessecary, it's what you and the person you love most in the world want! Not what anyone else wants. Thank you so much for your service. i appreicate everything you do over there!

MoonlightSilver

OP, you should check out Lighthouse Point Park for your vow renewal. It's a park right on the beach in New Haven. I'm not sure if they allow for outside ceremonies, but it's a good starting point. 

You can also check out Mystic Seaport for your vow renewal- they're also right on the water, though they don't really have a "beach" with sand. 

I understand you want to make your wife happy, but I hope you also consider the feelings of your guests- you should want to make them happy too. And nothing makes me more unhappy than a "bride and groom" that lies to their guests about whether they're married or not. 

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_army-guy-lost-in-the-sauce?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:533db9ba-a479-4a22-8036-1f821cbbedd9Post:0560e610-f420-4c5c-b0fa-cb62ee8f21d5">Re: Army guy lost in the sauce...</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all to several previous posts, i think its rude that you are just sitting here bashing this guy for wanting to make his wife happy. If he wants to renew his vows on the beach  and have a fun party after, let him without bashing everything about it. I think its sweet that you want to give her a big wedding,  its not like you could be like, "oh hold on, dont deploy me cause i need to have a big fancy wedding first" it doesnt work like that! I have several friends in the military so i understand all of this. I have not been married yet (ours in in march and indoors) so i dont have much advice about a beach wedding, but if you need help and want to hire a wedding planner and you can afford it, it will definately make things run smoother. We have a wedding planner that came with the package we bought with our venue and its really nice. She takes care of everything! I hope you and your wife have an amazing vow renewal and a great time.  I think there are so many "rules" to getting married that are completely unnessecary, it's what you and the person you love most in the world want! Not what anyone else wants. Thank you so much for your service. i appreicate everything you do over there!
Posted by fleab2oo3[/QUOTE]

The biggest rule that you need to follow about getting married revolves around the marriage license/certificate.  Once that is done correctly, you are married.  Period.  I don't care if people do vow reneals but once you are married, that's it.  You don't get another wedding unless you get divorced first. 

My experience with the military isn't as extensive as Stage's but I can tell you I have had a General and his wife tell me that they do not like this "do-over" trend that is in the military now one bit.  The wife said it is hurtful to those who had JOP weddings (because apparently, it wasn't a "real" wedding) and the General said he loses respect for anyone who does this.

cwaggoner07

I'm not going to really comment, I'm just going to tell you that you should really go to the Military board to get some opinions from those who have been in your shoes.

mandi195

I think having a vow renewal and a party afterwards sounds fantastic, my only suggestion would be to make sure that those coming to the service know that it is a vow renewal so there is no confusoin.
I think it's sweet that you want to give your wife her dream. I also thank you, deeply, for your service. Having gone a year with my baby brother overseas, I know how much it "costs" you and your loved ones to have you there instead of at home. Thank you.
Planning events like this are often overwhelming, it's a big day! My adivise would be to continue to ask her what she wants, and when she has ideas, give her honest opinions and help her in that way. Given the distance currently, she'll likely have to do most of the foot work herself, but can still have you very much involved.
Event planners are expensive, in most cases. However, if you or your wife are worried about it being overwhelming or too much, I say hire one. It'll put her mind at ease, and that person can be your stand in with helping her and going to see venues, etc.
Stay safe over there, and I hope your vow renewal upon your return is beautiful!

knockout7075

William-

Sorry everyone is jumping down your throats about etiquette. I say it's your life and you only go around once so if you want to have another wedding then go for it!!

Why don't you hop over to the Hawaii boards-- the ladies over there are SO nice and helpful and non-judgemental. You may not be getting married in Hawaii but if you are having a beach wedding so are a lot of those brides.... We are happy to help!

Good luck and thank you for your service, it's unfortunate that some people don't understand that our military men and women have to make SACRIFICES so that others can enjoy their freedom.

Cheers!

artbyallie

knockout, have you even glanced at the Military Brides board? Go read what they have to say on vow renewals.

knockout7075

Yes, I have. My point is, military or not, if this guy and his wife want to have a party to celebrate their marriage why can't they? Who cares if he used the wrong verb when trying to describe what he wanted help with?