I need to know if i'm being a jerk.

sharebear005

So my MOH had a baby three weeks ago. He is the most adorable little guy. She has been really busy taking care of him. She also has two other children to take care of. She is not able to come to the bridal shower and not help with much. Which again I understand completly I have a child and I know how hard it is to deal with new baby. She is breastfeeding the baby so she has to bring him to the wedding it is a no child wedding but she needs to be able to feed him. But now she wants to hold him while giving her speach she is nervous about giving it and she wants everybody to pay attention to him and not her. I dont know how to tell her that I would rather not have her hold him while giving the speach without thinking I resent the baby. She is already worried that I am mad at her for not being there which I am not. Should I just let her do it and not worry?

dflint

What exactly are your concerns?

coopsbaby

I'd let her hold him. I guess I don't see what the problem would be. And if it helps her be less nervous during her toast, that can only be good for you!

Avion22

Did she offer to give a speech or did you ask her? Generally, you shouldn't ask people to give speeches that are in your honor. If she offered, but wants to hold her baby, I don't see a problem with that. I'm guessing there's nobody else she trusts to hold her newborn at your wedding. Or, if she's not comfortable giving a speech in the first place.

LiLe422

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-need-to-know-if-im-being-a-jerk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:5d8a0437-c9d3-4bc4-afeb-ec7179978d3ePost:5b1fc568-5136-40ab-a08e-cd0936aad5b4">Re:I need to know if i'm being a jerk.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:I need to know if i'm being a jerk.: This. I would let her know that she doesn't have to give a speech at all of she doesn't want to. But if she does want to and she wants to hold the baby, I guess I don't see the problem.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this.  If she genuinely does want to give a speech and holding her baby makes her more comfortable doing so, I don't see an issue.</div>

sharebear005

I think she really wants to give the speach. She was the one who suggested it. I will suggest that she dosent have to but I dont know if she will take that the wrong way. If not she can hold the baby. My biggest concern was if he started to cry during it.

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-need-to-know-if-im-being-a-jerk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:5d8a0437-c9d3-4bc4-afeb-ec7179978d3ePost:3557742c-f86b-4bdb-bcda-afb39826d569">Re: I need to know if i'm being a jerk.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think she really wants to give the speach. She was the one who suggested it. I will suggest that she dosent have to but I dont know if she will take that the wrong way. If not she can hold the baby. My biggest concern was if he started to cry during it.
Posted by sharebear005[/QUOTE]

<div>He will be barely 2 months old. There's roughly a 99% chance that he will be sleeping, particularly if he's been recently fed.</div>

cwaggoner07

One of my bridesmaids had a baby 3 months before our wedding, and she was still BF. Her mom came to Dallas, where we all live and where I got married, to watch the baby during the wedding weekend. Her mom actually brought the baby to the reception early so that my friend could slip to the bridal suite and breastfeed before the baby went down. I never even noticed that she left, but I was glad it was able to work out.
Could she work out something like that?

NcsuPsych

Jerk? no (unless you demand she not hold her baby, then yes). Silly? yes.

It's a baby. People will think he's cute, but its not like they're going to forget why they're at that particular event or anything. I honestly think that you're over thinking it.

shayna25

yeah i would just let her do the speech while holding the baby if it makes her feel more comfortable.  I doubt anyone is going to mind that.

balletdawn

Would you rather she cradle you in her arms during her speech? I don't get it. Let her hold the baby. I do think you won't look very nice if you request that she don't.

whitney37354

Let her do the speech while holding the baby.  If the baby cries, it is not a big deal.  The baby will be around two months old, so there's a lot of eat, poop, sleep at that stage.  Not much crying to be done as long as their belly is full. 

sharebear005

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-need-to-know-if-im-being-a-jerk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:5d8a0437-c9d3-4bc4-afeb-ec7179978d3ePost:f8f79196-56f8-492f-a71c-e785be512379">Re: I need to know if i'm being a jerk.</a>:
[QUOTE]Would you rather she cradle you in her arms during her speech? I don't get it. Let her hold the baby. I do think you won't look very nice if you request that she don't.
Posted by balletdawn[/QUOTE]

This kind of response is why I dont like posting on these sites. If I was wanting to be a jerk then I would have said something right away to her. I in the end said it was ok.