Unwanted Suggestions?

RyansBelovedBride

So on Christmas FI's family went out for Chinese food. Upon leaving, his aunt commented to him, "You should cater Chinese food for your wedding!" (because everyone in their family loves it.)

Well, I hate Chinese food. And FI knows this, so I asked him, "Did you tell her I don't like Chinese food?" and he admitted no. I asked why, and he had a good explanation. He knows we won't be doing that, and it's not like his aunt has clout in decision making.

But so when I got on the knot today it made me think that you all probably have lots of stories about suggestions for the wedding that seemed out of left field (like catering Chinese food when the bride hates it).  How was it handled? Was it a big deal or just something to shrug off like this was?  Has it been resolved?

Avion22

Mostly just things to shrug off:-)    For example, we decided pretty early on that we're not having a wedding cake (neither of us like it), and mentioned it several times to my parents.  I'm sure my mom must have casually mentioned who we should get to be our baker and what kind of cake we should get at least three times after that.   It was like, "Mom.  Hello.  Still not doing cake."    

kara811

I can't remember of any unwanted suggestions given to us, if any I probably just forgot.

I think your FI's aunt was probably kidding when she made that comment.

crash2729

I usually asy something like "Oh. Maybe." or "Oh, Yea. That's an idea." 

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unwanted-suggestions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:5ec85011-d87b-4035-88e1-5e8d21e8393cPost:1e2d7fb2-bb3d-43f2-a939-c8770e9f5c7e">Unwanted Suggestions?</a>:
[QUOTE]So on Christmas FI's family went out for Chinese food. Upon leaving, his aunt commented to him, "You should cater Chinese food for your wedding!" (because everyone in their family loves it.) Well, I hate Chinese food. And FI knows this, so I asked him, "Did you tell her I don't like Chinese food?" and he admitted no. I asked why, and he had a good explanation. He knows we won't be doing that, and it's not like his aunt has clout in decision making. But so when I got on the knot today it made me think that you all probably have lots of stories about suggestions for the wedding that seemed out of left field (like catering Chinese food when the bride hates it).  How was it handled? Was it a big deal or just something to shrug off like this was?  Has it been resolved?
Posted by RyansBelovedBride[/QUOTE]

We'll take it into consideration, thanks. Have you tried the bean dip?

Explaining why you will or won't be doing something just gives them ammunition to try to change your mind. Don't engage.

RamonaFlowers

Most things I just shrugged off with a "That's certainly something to consider" or whatever. And that was the end of it.

The only thing I actually bothered "explaining" was when my mom refused to let go of the idea of us having the wedding in her backyard. She wasn't paying for anything, but she kept insisting it was an amazing and cost-effective idea. Finally, I had to sit her down and ask "So, where do you plan on having 100 people park their cars on your street where there's barely enough room for the people who already live there to park?", she started to counter with an idea of having people park at a local school and shuttling them in ... and then realized if we were going to shell out money for a shuttle service, we might as well just spring for a venue that had a parking lot. She finally dropped it after that.

scrpio421

My FIL's suggested we pick our own flowers the day of for centerpieces like they did for his sister's wedding. I didn't want to offend them, the last thing I want to do the day of is drive around and pick flowers from people's yards. Uh no thanks. That has disaster written all over it. I just smiled and said, oh yeah? That's interesting! I had my heart set on wild flowers and we are doing the vender package with our venue. And then subject change!

RyansBelovedBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unwanted-suggestions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:5ec85011-d87b-4035-88e1-5e8d21e8393cPost:151cc563-45bb-4aba-9c19-0475001a3026">Re: Unwanted Suggestions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't remember of any unwanted suggestions given to us, if any I probably just forgot. I think your FI's aunt was probably kidding when she made that comment.
Posted by kara811[/QUOTE]

No, she wasn't kidding, but I don't think she was that serious about it either. It was just an idle suggestion she happened to think was a great idea. Apparently like <em>everyone</em> in his family likes Chinese, and there's no reason she'd know I don't unless FI told her (we've not met).  No harm done, and actually part of the reason FI didn't tell her I didn't like it was they're not crazy close and he didn't want to open up wedding planning to her on the chance she think that's an invitation to get too involved. lol