Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.

sierraberry32

"Work people need to stop telling me all this sh*t about smoking...i know its bad... what's worse is if i quit now and muder your piece o sh*t ass for trying to give me a god d*mn lecture. Its not your pregnancy its mine and i know what's going on and what MY body needs...not like im doing drugs anymore... -.-

  FYI, she is 8 months pregnant with her third child.


Sorry about the weird writing, I can't seem to fix it.  I guess this is what happens when you copy and paste...

sierraberry32

I tried, but it still looks like this...

samantha24p

I hope she's joking, even though it's not a funny joke. It's sad. One of my friend smokes in her house and the car with her kids. Everyone tells her she shouldn't smoke around her kids and she always says " I know" but still does it.

achiduck

Klassy.

gmcr78

I wouldn't tell her anything.  She might "muder my piece o sh*t ass".  Plus, she clearly knows and doesn't care.
Every day I'm more and more convinced that Idiocracy is not just a movie...it's a premonition.

lyndausvi

That's sad.   

However, I doubt I would actually lecture someone about the subject.  Certainly not during the entire pregnancy.  I just don't see the point.

Let's just hope she is lucky and the kids are all okay.

GoodLuckBear14

I am one of the most anti-smoking people you will ever meet - to the point that I lived in Cleveland and still refused to date any guy who smoked (seriously cut down the available male dating pool).  I cannot breathe around it, even just smelling it on somebody will send me into a hacking coughing fit.  That said, it's nobody else's business if she is smoking during her pregnancy.  Dollars to donuts her OB/GYN knows and has already given her a lecture or two.  There are also times when OBs will tell expectant moms to cut down rather than stop completely because quitting would be more stressful and traumatic to the pregnancy.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:7993f204-df13-4e52-9633-a581eee5c2b4">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]If she's doing it in public and is visibly pregnant she is inviting people to lecture her.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

It still doesn't make it anyone else's business.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:12d9358c-3eec-4355-8785-c8cabe51059f">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry. :  a) as long as the fetus is in the mother's body, I'm a proponent of women's choice.   b) would you end a friendship with a woman who was smoking while pregnant particularly to PROTECT her baby from worse harm? c) I assume you also end friendships with women who drink caffiene while pregnant, since caffiene is actually shown to have equally bad side effects as smoking while pregnant, right?  <strong>In fact, as far as CONCLUSIVE evidence goes, it's worse since the only thing that can conclusively be tied to smoking while pregnant is low birth weight.</strong> I'm not advocating smoking while pregnant by any means, but seriously, risk-wise, women do far worse things to their pregnant bodies on a regular basis without ridicule or scorn because those things simply don't have the same type of stigma.  
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

This.  I'm from an entire generation whose mother's smoked, dieted and drank while pregnant.  I thought it was regional until I met a friend's mom from New Orleans, who told me "Oh honey, every night I followed my doctor's orders and smoked a cigarette, took a  dexatrim and drank my highball."  I am by no means advocating any of this but smoking is the least of the harmful things that you could do during a pregnancy.

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:0238c521-9b9e-40e3-b2d7-72ef8b999d5f">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]I hope she's joking, even though it's not a funny joke. It's sad. One of my friend <strong>smokes in her house and the car with her kids.</strong> Everyone tells her she shouldn't smoke around her kids and she always says " I know" but still does it.
Posted by samantha24p[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't know what the law is where your friend comes from, but where I come from, smoking in your car with underage kids present, is illegal.</div>

Beads921

Like a couple of PPs said, sometimes it's better for the mom to smoke through pregnancy than to quit. You don't know the entire situation, nor does it directly affect you, so don't judge. 

FWIW, while my Mom didn't smoke, my Dad smoked in the house and car when I was a kid. Whatever - tons of people grew up that way. I'm still alive, and the kids the PP mentions probably will be too. It may not be an ideal situation, but I also think the situation could be so much worse. 

HuckSC

The only time where I would say anything to her is if we worked together and she was on the company insurance that I was paying into. I would then say something to hopefully decrease future medical costs.

samantha24p

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:8104ac88-2c14-46e1-a3c2-671ac9bbcb69">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry. : I don't know what the law is where your friend comes from, but where I come from, smoking in your car with underage kids present, is illegal.
Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]



I don't think it's illegal to smoke with kids in the car. I have heard that it's illegal to smoke near an entrance of any public building, but it doesn't stop anyone. No one really Inforces it.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:e5a8ad0d-b691-499d-b0ce-65422e7fe4b4">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry. : This.  I'm from an entire generation whose mother's smoked, dieted and drank while pregnant.  I thought it was regional until I met a friend's mom from New Orleans, who told me "Oh honey, every night I followed my doctor's orders and smoked a cigarette, took a  dexatrim and drank my highball."  I am by no means advocating any of this but smoking is the least of the harmful things that you could do during a pregnancy.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

<div>This is how I feel.    I'm a product of a smoker while pregnant mom.  All 4 of us were.  My sister and I were normal birth weights.  My  brothers were low, but they are twins, (unknown until birth at that), so it could have been contributed to that or smoking, who really knows? Oh and when my mom went was at the hospital she had the ashtray on her stomach smoking.  True story.</div><div>
</div><div>I HATE smoking.  My mom smoked all the time, it bugged the crap out of me. When I was 16 my parents bought me a car.  The only thing I asked was that my mom not smoke in the car.  She was pissed, she thought since she paid, she could.  Lucky for me my dad agreed with me and mom never smoked in any of the kids cars (he didn't smoke).   Anyway, I've never smoked because of her.</div><div>
</div><div> However, I do not feel like smoking while pregnant is the death sentence everone gives it. Sure there are risks, but there are a lot of things that are risky.  I think giving my opinion once would be enough. </div>

jenajjthr

There are a ton of things pregnant women shouldn't do when they are pregnant.  Smoking is a big one, but it isn't the most harmful one. Changing the kitty litter and eating deli meat is more dangerous than smoking. 

I would side-eye an obviously pregnant worman who lit up, but I wouldn't say anything.  Like other PP's have said it is her body, and unless we want the govt all up into our nether regions and live in a Big Brother-esque world, then we need to let some things go as none of our business.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:566ea7ca-7a63-4afe-8ff4-30811a8468f0">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry. : I don't think it's illegal to smoke with kids in the car. I have heard that it's illegal to smoke near an entrance of any public building, but it doesn't stop anyone. No one really Inforces it.
Posted by samantha24p[/QUOTE]

It is illegal in New York or will be on January 1

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:e3458c58-8c70-4f21-9971-3cc1921994cf">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]There are a ton of things pregnant women shouldn't do when they are pregnant.  Smoking is a big one, but it isn't the most harmful one. <strong>Changing the kitty litter and eating deli meat is more dangerous than smoking.</strong>  I would side-eye an obviously pregnant worman who lit up, but I wouldn't say anything.  Like other PP's have said it is her body, and unless we want the govt all up into our nether regions and live in a Big Brother-esque world, then we need to let some things go as none of our business.
Posted by jenajjthr[/QUOTE]

Taxoplasmosis isn't that large a problem for indoor cats.

Lots of things aside from deli meat have listeria but you don't see people going crazy over them. 

The japanese eat raw fish the entire time they are pregnant.

Many Europeans drink alcohol while pregnant.

I think everyone needs to back the hell off pregnant women and mothers.  The endless judgment, side eyes, and eyebrow raising from busy bodies is simply too much. 

EDIT: I applaud Retread for pointing out that smoking is LEGAL!  My god, the way people talk you'd think smoking nicotine was the same as smoking crack.  If everyone hates it so much then vote to make it illegal, but until then I think everyone needs to lay off smokers.  The taxes on cigarettes pay for lots of things that non-smokers enjoy.  Removing that income would push the taxes onto other products that many would cry foul on.  You can't have it both ways.

wrigleyville

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:33299dfd-874c-4b0c-b792-f7b41025a7b4">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]FWIW, while my Mom didn't smoke, my Dad smoked in the house and car when I was a kid. Whatever - tons of people grew up that way. I'm still alive, and the kids the PP mentions probably will be too. It may not be an ideal situation, but I also think the situation could be so much worse. 
Posted by Beads921[/QUOTE]

My mother smoked around me constantly. I had bronchitis every couple of months and asthma by the time I was nine, not to mention a consistently raw throat and sinuses. Have you ever been stuffed into a car with a smoker when you have bronchitis and/or asthma? It's not fun; it's borderline child abuse.

As soon as I moved out, my asthma got better, and I only get bronchitis once or twice per year now.

Just because <strong>you</strong> were lucky enough to turn out okay doesn't make it okay.

eesh33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:b85a96c6-4093-4106-8f61-876ef8d4a5b4">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry. : That's like saying my nose ring or tats are inviting people to lecture me about hepatitis, infection, or cartilage damage.  It's never okay to lecture someone else about their body and their medical decisions unless you are their medical care giver.  Not just A medical professional but THEIRS.  As GLB pointed out, she may be smoking under doctor's orders.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Ok..i work with OBs and i think if i ever heard them say "She's smoking under my orders." I would walk right out! Especially if they are EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT!

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:2ba61911-d727-4e64-8b0c-e787812e6b49">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry. : Ok..i work with OBs and i think if i ever heard them say "She's smoking under my orders." I would walk right out! Especially if they are EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT!
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

If someone smokes a pack a day and ends up pregnant, cutting down smoking is far preferable to quitting cold turkey for some women.  It's very dependent upon the patient and her circumstances. 

Again.  Busybodies need to mind their own business.

pretzelgrrl

Okay while I would never tell someone else what to do while they are pregnant...changing kitty litter while pregnant is a no-no...most ob-gyn's will tell you that you should not change the cat litter.  You can get toxoplasmosis from changing litter...they do say to wear gloves and wash your hands if you absolutely have to change cat litter but they recommend not doing it.  You should also not eat sushi while pregnant....the sushi in Japan is a much higher grade then most of the sushi here.  While you may not get a bacterial infection from sushi there is a risk so most ob-gyns recommend just not doing it.  This is the reason for the majority of things they recommend not doing or eating during pregnancy (sushi, alcohol, deli meat, changing kitty litter)...ther is a risk that most people do not want to take because the risk outweighs the benefits.  But, once again I agree with you that I would not tell other what to do but that dos not mean it makes these things safe.

jenajjthr

My post about kittly litter and deli meat was not about that they should be outlawed as well, just that they are not recommended for pregnant women either due to the health risks, just like smoking has health risks attached to it, pregnant or not. 

The risk for getting toxoplasmosis while pregnant with an indoor cat is small, especially if you have had a cat or cats for a while, but the risk is still there.  But not every pregnant woman has had a cat for a long time, the cat is an only indoor cat, or washes their hands after every litter cleaning.  There are documented worst case scenarios where the woman has suffered a miscarriage because of it.  So should we outlaw cats just because of a few cases...no.  Should we outlaw pregnant women from smoking...again no. 

But just like they have the right to smoke, I have the right to think they are doing something wrong.  Will I go up to them and preach at them...no, that isn't my right. 

My mom smoked while pregnant with me, smoked in the car and house with me, still smokes around me, heck I'm old enough that I was sent into the store to buy cigarettes for her before the law cracked down on underage purchases.  Thank heavens I don't have any major breathing problems due to that, but I'm one of the lucky ones.  On the other side, how much better could my health have been (did have some minor respiratory issues when younger) without that in my life. 

I'm all for individual choices.  Some choices we make are good, some are bad.  As individuals we are the ones who have to live with those choices. 

RamonaFlowers

Would I walk up to a total stranger that's 8 months pregnant and read them the riot act for smoking? No.

But somebody that I actually knew? Yeah, I don't care how "douchey" it makes me sound, but yes, something would be said. No, it's not my body, or my baby, but ffs, if you're posting on FB that you're 8 months along and still lighting up, and then justifying it with "AT LEAST I'M NOT ON DRUGS ANYMORE" ... sorry, I'm not going to turn a blind eye to the smoking and hand you a cookie for being off crack.

Licia&Wayne

For a bunch of people that have cows on the regular and beat their sanctimonious drums over something as trivial as asking a bridesmaid to wear a certain dress or giving matching gifts, this thread is blowing my mind.

Look, you can all defend a woman's right to smoke while pregnant, even offer up the possibility of cutting back as medical advice. It doesn't make it any less of a doucher move, or any less open for public criticism. Girl put it out there on Facebook for the world to see.

Just because Betty Draper did it doesn't make it right. Give me a freaking break. This woman sounds like she's 20 minutes after birth away from going on a heroin bender.

I vote we give her the mother of the year award.

LoveyHowl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:35d0484e-617c-45ee-81ba-5f30ab453f7f">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, that explains a lot then. nbsp; a good portion of those who work in the medical industry seem to, as a general stereotype, think everyone's health and everyone's body is their business. nbsp;<strong>This effect is also often inversely proportional to how close they are to actually PRACTICING medicine as well. </strong>nbsp;Drs and nurses, not usually too bad, nbsp;techs and CNAs can be quite annoying, and god help you if you ever cough/sneeze/or look pale in front of a clerical aid or administrative personell.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Are you an insufferable, elitist snob IRL also, or just here?</div>

Licia&Wayne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:d38f8585-26e7-4e6f-89d9-d2f71b1d9b1d">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry. : Are you an insufferable, elitist snob IRL also, or just here?
Posted by LoveyHowl[/QUOTE]


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/13/bf684fbf-02af-472f-8dff-f517fd39907d.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/13/bf684fbf-02af-472f-8dff-f517fd39907d.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:800a9d90-f132-437a-8254-d6217de01f08">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]Would I walk up to a total stranger that's 8 months pregnant and read them the riot act for smoking? No. But somebody that I actually knew? Yeah, I don't care how "douchey" it makes me sound, but yes, something would be said. No, it's not my body, or my baby, but ffs, if you're posting on FB that you're 8 months along and still lighting up, and then justifying it with "AT LEAST I'M NOT ON DRUGS ANYMORE" ... sorry, I'm not going to turn a blind eye to the smoking and hand you a cookie for being off crack.
Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]

<div>Correct.</div><div>
</div><div>I would fully expect my mother to lecture me hard core about something like that. As a pharmacist, I would consider her an irresponsible mother and health professional not to say something especially if I put it on freaking Facebook/Myspace/Friendster. </div>

catloverd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:395a9af5-58e2-42f2-a83a-0ccee8903027">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]For a bunch of people that have cows on the regular and beat their sanctimonious drums over something as trivial as asking a bridesmaid to wear a certain dress or giving matching gifts, this thread is blowing my mind. Look, you can all defend a woman's right to smoke while pregnant, even offer up the possibility of cutting back as medical advice. It doesn't make it any less of a doucher move, or any less open for public criticism. Girl put it out there on Facebook for the world to see. Just because Betty Draper did it doesn't make it right. Give me a freaking break. This woman sounds like she's 20 minutes after birth away from going on a heroin bender. I vote we give her the mother of the year award.
Posted by Licia&Wayne[/QUOTE]

<div>couldn't have said it better</div>

Licia&Wayne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:f1c4c684-1fae-42de-8aeb-56292d05353a">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry. : I think you maybe don't know what these words mean.  But if you meant insufferable heinous biiitch, then the answer would be IRL too, yes.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I'm disappointed that this is your only response.

Licia&Wayne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_facebook-post-it-made-me-want-to-cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:69386d43-6e6e-4de9-a3e2-16629999c798Post:a2dbe012-8b10-4f28-bd38-aa47a5601c4c">Re: Facebook Post: It made me want to cry.</a>:
[QUOTE]There are few things that piss me off more than people who think that because a woman is pregnant that she shouldn't be entitled to make decisions about what to do with her body without their approval. Unless you are a woman's doctor keep your opinions and your pearl clutching to yourself.
Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

Yeah, no. You put it out in public, it's there for the judging. It might not be "right", but that's the way it is.

lyndausvi

I don't getting bullying someone on their right to make un-popular yet legal choices.

If she got to the point she felt the need to post that her co-workers need to STFU, then I think she was being bulled her over and over again.

I might not agree with her choice, but I NO ONE should be bullied.   And that is basically what her co-workers are doing.