Chit Chat

Wedding bouncer?

So any input on how to deal with a crazy FMIL that I can seriously see ruining our wedding day? One month she's fine and excited, the next she hates my guts. I have told my fiance, if she keeps this up and isn't going to play nice with others I would rather not have her there....but it's his mom, even if she is crazy, I'm not going to force him to not let her in. And he's definitely trying to set limits and boundries with her, I just don't trust her to be an adult.

My worry is once she is there, she's going to cause all kinds of drama and I really don't want that. I know I'm projecting, but it's very typical for her to get very loud and rude.

I was joking around with my MOH that I would need a bouncer at my wedding...just in case. lol

Re: Wedding bouncer?

  • The other option is to ask some friends (groomsmen?) to keep an eye on her and to politely remove her from the situation until she calms down.   
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  • My mom had a security guard at her wedding for the exact same reason you stated above. If you hire someone it will give you peace of mind so you don’t have to be worrying about your FMIL when you should be enjoying your day.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-bouncer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:6c1461f3-bfd1-4653-9460-f535c8e3b5f1Post:21c38900-734c-4b66-83dc-8301b973dc6b">Re: Wedding bouncer?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The other option is to ask some friends (groomsmen?) to keep an eye on her and to politely remove her from the situation until she calms down.   
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

    As others have said, please don't do this. It'll put that person that has to escort your FMIL in a very awkward position and could ruin any relationship they may have with the family.

    Your best bet is to hire someone to come in and help out if you must do something.
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  • I'd talk with the venue about security or a company they recommend. Definitely do NOT ask your friends to play bouncer for the night. It's not their responsibility nor the reason why they are there.
  • If you have a day-of coordinator, they might be a useful resource as well for dealing with any craziness.
    Vacation White Knot
  • My venue provides a bouncer. We're thrilled with it. I have a family member who is not invited to the wedding and have made it very clear to my family she isn't invited and will be asked to leave if she shows up. At my sister's wedding two year's ago this family member attacked my grandmother and we're all just suppose to pretend it didn't happen, she has an alcohol problem and got very drunk. I've informed our venue she is not allowed to come in at all. The bouncer isn't just there for one person though, this person will make sure no one gets to drunk or to loud. The'll make sure people take cabs and not their cars if there has been one to many drinks. I think it's been one of the best things as far as peace of mind we've done for the wedding.  No one has to worry about that part of things.
  • My BIL went to his brother's wedding where, during the mother-son dance, the mom began crying on her son's shoulder saying, "I can't believe you married her", you and "your brother both have disappointed me marrying horrible people".  She, for two minutes, went on and on crying and whining about how the wives were horrible and how she wanted her sons back that my BIL brother actually told the DJ to stop the song and he left her on the dance floor.  Not something I would suggest; however, it got the point across.  I'm all game with having some sort of "security" there to politely suggest her to leave or step outside for a breath of fresh air.  Or at least to make sure she doesn't drink too much.  Make sure someone points her out to the bartender so she doesn't drink too much and then create even more drama. 
  • Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I mentioned hiring security to my FH and I don't think he took me very seriously. I guess I will just have to wait to see if in the end she is welcome or not, depending on her attitude.

    Thanks again

  • Honestly, it is YOUR day.....you need to completely erase her from your mind on your wedding day.  Focus on you and your groom.  Everyone attending is there to see you and celebrate the love you share with your groom.  If she wants to be loud and obnoxious, then let her!  It will only go to show she is being selfish and trying get attention, but she will be making a complete fool of herself in the process....she can't blame anyone but herself for that.  I can only imagine that on your wedding day, if she dares to even attempt any drama, people will step up and shut her up...it's nothing you should worry about. 

    I also think she needs some bipolar medicine or something....
  • Ya she definitely hasn't been taking her meds..lol ;)
  • I'm with the rest of the people, do not involve your friends...it's like airing out your dirty laundry.  Instead if he has any siblings I would ask them to keep her under control, otherwise the nicely dress bouncer sounds like your only choice,,,
    GB
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