I need to vent....

spalko

Our wedding is exactly 13 months from today but from the way I feel, you'd think it was 13 days away. My honey proposed to me on April 3 and on April 12 he was back on an airplane headed back overseas and he won't be home until the end of August. I've started some planning, mostly just searching for things I like, but I know that I need to start booking a ceremony and reception site as those tend to fill up 12 months in advance. My honey is making me feel like I don't involve him in a lot of the planning but it's so hard with him being 8000 miles away and our only source of communication is FB chat when his internet is working. He really hurt my feelings when he told me that today (via FB) because I want this to be our wedding and I would love to plan it together once he's home but some things can't wait.
We've kind of, sort of picked out a ceremony location but it's outside... in Northern Michigan.. at the end of May (the weather may not be in our favor!!). The place doesn't have a Plan B so if mother nature decides to suck that day, we're SOL which is making me second guess our choice. The location is so beautiful overlooking lake michigan on a nature perserve but is that worth risking the rain?! I just can't decide!! I'm worried that we go with the location and the weather sucks but then if we move to an indoor location and the weather is amazing, I'm going to be so super bummed! And this is only for the ceremony site, lord help me when it comes to where to have the reception!!!!
I just need someone to talk to off the ledge and make me put down the box of thin mints! I think my firiends are weddinged-out for a bit and I could use various opinions from all over!!

Rysbride12

I'm having a similar anxiety to you on weather as I am planning a beach wedding. It's not a bad idea to have an alternate "rain location" for your ceremony. For my wedding, our alternate location is inside the hotel where the reception is going to be. Sure it will be a bummer if it rains, but try to pick somewhere pretty inside as an alternate will take the sting away a little. We are going to rent an arch that will work outside or inside so that will set the scene. Things to think about. Happy planning. Try your best not to stress too much.

lyndausvi

I choose to have my September beach wedding in NJ instead of home in  St Thomas to avoid hurricanes.   

A hurricane still hit us in NJ on our wedding day.

I'm HUGE fan of backup plans.

sarah0632

Weigh your feelings toward the potential of a rain ceremony and an indoor wedding on a nice day... Which seems more awful to you. Personally I'd loathe the rain, but I'm having an indoor wedding anyways.

As for your hubby-to-be, he must be so bummed feeling like he's not involved in planning the wedding. I suggest sending him as many pictures as possible, telling him you'll book his favorite so you can make sure you get it and remind him you'll show it to him the second he's home.

You're lucky you a guy who wants to be involved in the planning. I've heard of many that don't!

costarica2011

Plan B should always be somewhere included because you just never know. I'm from Barbados and most ppl love to come here for the beach weddings but it's good to have an alternate.
Case in point (I do event management & decor) today a couple was having their wedding at a hotel garden with the beach in the background.... beautiful setting. Except it rained off and on all day.... 15 min before the ceremony time, the rain just didn't let up and everything had to be moved to an alternate location inside the hotel.
Best advice.... if you don't want to take the risk and there's no "plan B"... have the ceremony somewhere that there's a plan B available. Then another day just after the weeding hire a photographer to go with you and your husband to the location at the lake (when the weather is good) and take a few memorable photos there.

Cynthia1207

You definitely need a Plan B.  If you're really stuck on that location, maybe renting a tent might be a good option for you.  Then again, I would hate to be a guest stuck in muddy grass for 30 minutes or so....and having to walk back to the car in rain.

marriedfilingjointly

I think you should wait until August when your FI returns and plan the wedding together.  If you have to change your date, you have to change your date.

And always have a plan B for an outdoor reception. 

nrawlings26

i would get a plan B.. personally i would love to get married in the rain but thats just me.. my wedding is going to be outside too but we are renting a tent so therefore if it does rain everything can be moved to the tent and aslo i agree with waiting until your FI comes home.... at least yours wants to help.. mines just like eh i'm leaving it up to you and i'm about ready to pull my hair out

kara811

Like PPs, Plan B is definitely a must when having an outdoor ceremony. We had an outdoor ceremony too, and the weather was changing constantly the days before our wedding, but in the end we got quite lucky. We did have a back up plan though, you just never know how the weather will be. 

I was in the same situation as you when I was planning, my H was also overseas but he wanted to get involved in the process as much as possible. I sent him pictures of everything, and he always gave me inputs in them, then we make the decisions together. We made decisions together even with him thousands of miles away. You can do the same with your FI, he'll feel more involved this way. 

artbyallie

As PPs have said, a Plan B is absolutely necessary, and not just for rain. If it's less than about 70 degrees (upper 60s at bare minimum), don't make people sit outside. I was in FSIL's wedding in March and there was no back-up plan. The day before the wedding was perfect, sunny, and warm. The wedding day dawned chilly and windy. It was in the 50s and we (bridesmaids in short sundresses) were freezing and miserable. The reception was outside, too.

spalko

The hubby-to-be and I were talking last night and neither of us really want to risk poopy weather for the possibility of a nice location. I've been doing some searching and I think we're going to have it in a restored theater in town where we can have both the ceremony and reception in the same place. The ceremony will take place on the stage and then the reception will be upstairs in the ballroom. It's all within reason and Tim and I sort of picked the location together while we were talking last night. We've talked about changing the date but he's really set on that date and so am I. The thing that bugged me about the comment he made was that I had been sending him pictures and asking him to find stuff he likes and we agreed on almost everything that I sent him. I thought I was doing a good job of keeping him involved and then he hits me with that comment. Just hurt my feelings but I completely agree with everyone that a Plan B is a must and I'm more excited about the theater than I was about the outdoor wedding! Thanks for all the help ladies, it's much apprecaited!!!