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Re: student

  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments

    I would ask him about the number.  If you're asking us for opinions then it sounds like you have doubts about his motives.

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  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
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    Ask him.
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  • I would ask him about it. If you are asking us about it you obviously have concerns. Its best to just talk about it rather than you be uncertain.


  • Sounds like you have a lot of talking to do with him...It sounds like you have some trust issues to work out. Ask him about it and see what he says. Honestly i would be mad if my FI went snooping though my phone bill to see who i was talking to and was calling numbers i talk to.
    Good luck
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  • I don't think it's snooping through his phone bill, it's a joint account. To me she is checking it for fraudulent charges as any good consumer should do.  As to whether to say something or not, it probably is the right thing to ask.  Better to ask now and know whether it is a problem or not than to get married and find out later that it is a problem.
  • I agree that looking over the bills and noticing something out of place is fine, but you need to ask him about unknown numbers instead of calling them.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_student?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:749a6cea-179b-42f2-95c0-8ac65e57c393Post:c3442fd3-2a71-4b70-9c76-f9c668d8c984">student</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>my fiancée and I are going to two different from each other. After we get married we will continue going to two different school.</strong> We also live in the dorm. We share the same phone plan. recently i went online to view our phone bill and I can see every number I called and text and same with his. I can see every number he text and called. well While viewing his I notice this number that he's been texting them a lot. He has a night job, he get off at 6 in the morning. I also noticed he's been talking to her (yes its a HER because I called the number) a few times while he at work. He doesn't know I know this. I would like to know should I say something to him about it???
    Posted by sylphise[/QUOTE]


    Why are you not waiting until after you graduate and can live in the same place before your get married?  If you're both in college and living in dorms, why be married at all?

    Leaving aside the issue that you don't trust him,  I'm going to assume you're both young if you're both still in college.  What's the rush? 

    Finish your education.  Enjoy college life.  If this relationship is meant to be, it will still be meant to be in two years, or however much longer you have to finish your schooling.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Ditto PP...trust issues aside, why not wait until you can live together after your marriage? Or, if you are set on the wedding, could you live in family housing at one of the schools and one of you could commute or something, presuming the campuses aren't too far apart?
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  • Ask him but get ready for what he has to tell you.
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • I'd have to agree with the other girls on this board. I can't say wait until you graduate because, honestly, I'm not. I don't graduate with my BS for another year or so but my FI is finished next semester. HOWEVER, we go to the same school, own a house together and are in a good position to get married. Living apart and specifically in dorms is only going to complicate the whole marriage thing.

    Out of curiosity, how far away are the schools from each other and how old are you? How long of an engagement are you planning on having?

    On to the main issue! It sounds to me like there is a little bit of a trust issue, which isn't something you should ignore. I hate to say it but in past relationships whenever I have had a hunch about something, there has been some merit to it. He may not be doing anything, she could be just a friend or even a family member, but you really should be straightforward and ask him about it.

    It'll be hard but if he is not willing communicate with you then you may want to rethink things. Building a marriage when trust is already an issue is not a good idea.

    Hope something in this rant helps. Good luck. =)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_student?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:749a6cea-179b-42f2-95c0-8ac65e57c393Post:c3442fd3-2a71-4b70-9c76-f9c668d8c984">student</a>:
    [QUOTE]my fiancée and I are going to two different from each other. After we get married we will continue going to two different school. We also live in the dorm. We share the same phone plan. recently i went online to view our phone bill and I can see every number I called and text and same with his. I can see every number he text and called. well While viewing his I notice this number that he's been texting them a lot. He has a night job, he get off at 6 in the morning. I also noticed he's been talking to her (yes its a HER because I called the number) a few times while he at work. He doesn't know I know this. I would like to know should I say something to him about it???
    Posted by sylphise[/QUOTE]

    You need to communicate with your fiance.  Have a sit down.  We could speculate all we want to, but you won't know the truth until you talk to him directly.

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  • Definitely ask him, but don't wait too long.  These things usually have a way of turning nasty when you let them boil.
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  • To me its snooping because you are not just looking for weirdness, you are calling numbers. Idk to me whoever i call is my business and if my FI wants to know who im talking to i would tell him since i don't have anything to hide. It could have been someone important maybe business or family but they could have gotten mad that you called.

    Don't be afraid to ask and be prepared for the answer.
    Good luck
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  • Ask him. If you don't trust him/ don't believe it is innocent after talking to him, break up. At the very least, call off the wedding & get counseling.

    Personally, I think calling the number instead of talking to him is wrong/ snooping.

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  • OP - I happened to see this while looking for something interesting to read and I have to say I'm confused.  I responded to your post on the Students board the other day, where you talk about how you're 100% sure you're right for each other and you're uspet that your family thinks this guy is just marrying you for a green card.  I don't get it - if you have such an awesome relationship, what is this post all about?

    Like the others said, it could be something innocent, and I think you should just ask him, but you obviously have some trust issues with your FI, and according to your other post, so does your family.  I think it's really sneaky to go calling the number rather than just confronting him, and it seems like you have some serious conversations in your future and maybe a little growing up to do before you're ready to get married.
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