Skipping my wedding

Midgetth

I am at the point where I want to skip my wedding. It's nothing with my FI it's with his family. When we were 8 months out his cousin asked if we were having children at our wedding & I told her no. She said it was fine she just had to find a babysitter. A month ago she said she was having a hard time finding a babysitter & was wondering if we were still planning on no children. Now she has blown it all up and it upsetting me my FI and my FMIL. My FI's grandmother was even complaining to my FMIL that it's just not right that we're inconveniencing all of the parents. And that if we can't afford to have children at our wedding then we should have a fire house wedding! I am just so beside myself & so is my FMIL. I have tried being nice so has my FI & FMIL. It's getting blown out of proportion I just don't want his family to think I'm a bitch.  I don't know what to do. My FI & I do NOT want kids at our wedding it's not exactly a place for children with 2 sets of spiral stairs & 8 doors. Has anyone else had this problem or know how to help me? I'm ready to just say eff the whole wedding because it is becoming so aggravating. And she is the only parent who has an issue with it all the other parents have already found babysitters & some of them are coming from further away than she is & all of their family will be at the wedding. My FI's cousin still has her husbands family who is not coming to the wedding. I just don't knwo what to do HELP!!

ohwhynot

YOu can't please everyone.  Let it go.  Making the  choice to have a child-free wedding means that some people will be irked and inconvenienced.  Making the choice to include children will mean that some people will be irked and inconvenienced.  That's life.  You've made a reasonable choice - how people respond to that choice is beyond your control and you really need to let it roll off your back. 

P.S.  Don't denigrate "firehouse weddings" - I'm having mine at a community center and I'm quite pleased about it. 

Jenni83

I had the same issue just let it go,if they want to be there they will find a sitter,if not then dont worry about it.They are the ones that will be missing out on a good time.
Dont let the little thngs like this stress you out or you will go crazy.
in the end the only things that really matters is that you are marrying the love of your life.

L-Bride

No one can upset you unless you let them. Let them know you've made your decision already and hope to see them there. No need to get worked up..relax.

brit_bell90

I wouldn't worry too much, they're only cousins. If it was your FI's sister, that'd be a different story.

MairePoppy

Just let it in one ear and out the other. Unless you are talking about an infant, it is your decision whether or not to invite children to your wedding. Also, if attending the wedding involves long distance travel, you should be more flexible. Since this is fi's family, let him handle it.
Everyone can't afford to have a ballroom reception. Please be careful of what you say about firehouse weddings. That remark came off as a little snotty.

irisheyezfsu

maybe you know a neighbor who has a daughter or a distant friend who isn't coming to the wedding that could watch the child. Or how about suggest one the other family members babysitters watch the cousin's child too.

Kristin&eric

I am sorry that she is upsetting you like this but everyone else is true you cant please everyone. I am sure that they dont think you are a B*** just the sister haha j/k. Do you know of anyone that has a babbysitter and you can see if they want to double up their kids and split the price.... i dont know just a thought, but good luck

Tinkx123x

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_skipping-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7792f66c-9b25-4e6a-bede-5234c6f4bc8ePost:239bbd70-b458-49a6-b4c8-fca8303133cd">Re: Skipping my wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I am dealing with the same thing.  Let it  go, that is all that you can do.  I too choose not to have chlidren at the reception, aside from the 5 in the WP.  I have friends flyin in from differnt parts of the country who have kids and they have made arrangements, yet, my 3 cousins-who live in the area can't seem to find anyone to watch their kid/s  for one night, and therefore not coming to the wedding.  I am so pissed, but have gotten over it now.  As my mom has said, what goes around comes around.  I know that sounds petty, but given that there has not been a family get-together like this in 17 years and my grandma is not getting younger...<strong>screw them.  this is YOUR day, YOUR choices ENJOY it!!  say that over and over and you will realize that you can not get upset anymore about it.
</strong>Posted by storuno[/QUOTE]

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Lilou902

A wedding is not an apporpriate place for children.  There is too much going on for them and they just want to run around and can't understand why they can't.  I am not having children at the reception except for the ones in the wedding party and two older cousins of mine coming from a few hours away.  I don't even care if people are upset.  It is what it is and it's your day.  Enjoy it!!

kaynix21

The pp's are right, ignore it. If she can't find someone, she doesn't have to come. It's not up to you to figure it out, or make her happy. And if you just have one parent complaining and the rest are fine, you're doing pretty good.

They are obviously making a mountain out of a mole hill, let them deal with it. Ignore them and don't talk about it with them anymore.

JenniferLuvsCandy

I ended up giving in.  Too much drama.

Theresa626

Honestly, you sound so upset about this that it might be easier for you to have children there then to put up with the drama.  I know that's not what you wanted originally but neither is the drama.  Think hard about the no children thing.  Is it worth it to you to stay your ground?  If not, I honestly would just give in at this point.  If it has you soo upset that you want to cancel the wedding, it's not worth fighting for.  Children will be fine around doors and stairs.  really.  They're durable.  The issue is just whether or not you want them present.  Decide what it's worth to you.