Nervous about being center of attention

hamiltci

Hi everyone,

My fiance and I are very shy people and we are uncomfortable being the center of attention. Our wedding is five months away and although we're excited, I'm getting sick to my stomach thinking about everyone's eyes on me. Like any shy person, I worry about what to do with my face and all my gestures... I'm painfully aware that everyone is watching me. I don't want to look self-conscious on my wedding day. My fiance is the same way, although we haven't discussed it too much because I don't want to blow it out of proportion. Whenever I see other brides' pictures and videos, they always look so full of confidence and seem to know what to do at the right moments - when to kiss someone on the cheek, when to raise their bouquet happily, and what facial expressions to give at just the right time. Is there anyone else who is, or was, super nervous about these things before their wedding? Any advice? My worst part is - I hate dancing, as does my fiance. We absolutely cannot dance on our wedding day, it would be way too much to have everyone watching us dance. It doesn't make me sad that we won't be dancing, but it makes me nervous that people will keep asking us on the day why we are not dancing. You can't change my mind about the dancing thing, although I'm sure many of you will try. All I want is some advice about how to answer people/cope with this, and ensure that everyone still has a good time. Thanks so much!

- Nervous Bride to Be

riotgrrrl101

I'm sorry I just saw this now!  Too bad... I would have liked to see more responses too!  I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a shy person but I'm a very self conscious person. I was scared about our wedding from the moment of the proposal!  I know this advice is way too late for you but maybe someone else will read it...  I do NOT dance either.  I mean, I kind-of-sort-of could bob around when I'm 5 drinks in and feelin' good...but now that I'm pregnant I knew there would be no 5 drinks to loosen me up!  My fiancé wasn't really great at dancing, but he wasn't scared of it like me.  I'm very uncoordinated and not graceful.  But the thing that helped me was a dance group.  It was a casual $2 drop-in dance club that operated out of our local Legion.  Every Thursday my fiancé and I would go. That first time up the stairs and into the room was TERRIFYING.  I thought they would all laugh at me and tell me it's hopeless.  But they were amazing - the more experienced members LOVE to teach newbies.  You switch partners very frequently so you learn to dance with many types.  I'm telling you, at first, each and EVERY one of those partnerings was so awkward to me.  Months later, I'm certainly not Dancing with the Stars material, but I'm proficient enough that I don't have to sit out the dances and be a wallflower at my own wedding.  I'm so glad I challenged that fear EVERY week.  With each repeated session, it became easier and easier to walk up the stairs and enter that room.  Now I am excited to share a slow waltz with my husband, a special waltz with my dad, and a honkey tonk two step with my wedding party!  Then I plan on hitting the dance floor at regular intervals throughout the night!  And remember, even if you do mess up, no one notices or knows - especially if you have a long dress!

As for the gestures and faces - a smile is the best thing to have.  If it is genuine, everything will flow from there!  No one expects you to be a magazine bride and be perfectly poised at every moment however.  Relax, have fun, make a silly face sometimes if that's more "you".  Your video/photographer will capture so many wonderful moments just of you and your husband being YOU!  Don't be anyone else, because watching the playback you'll be hyperaware of how strained it may look.  

As someone who struggles with self confidence, I know that I will be ok on my wedding day.  Everyone loves brides and everyone thinks the bride is gorgeous and they will ALL repeatedly tell you so (helps a lot to boost that confidence!). 

So basically: Smile, be yourself and take dancing lessons hahaha

amaryann210

The post was 2 1/2 years ago, which means the wedding was over 2 years ago.  I think it's probably not something they need advice about anymore.

OjitosVerdes

amaryann210 said:

The post was 2 1/2 years ago, which means the wedding was over 2 years ago.  I think it's probably not something they need advice about anymore.

She mentions that she knows it's too late for the OP, but she posted in case someone else in the same position comes along and reads this post now. 

thejucheidea

Just do what I did and have a nervous breakdown. It got me Xanax, so I guess it was worth it?